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... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
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I'm going on holiday in 4 months - how do I tone up - the mile a day run isn't working!
Q. Hey. I'm going on holiday in four months, and would like to tone up for that. I run for a mile every other day, and do a 30 minute bike ride for the days I'm not running. Everyday, I do 100 sit ups, squats, leg excersises, tushups, etc. However, ...
A. 13 March 2007: I agree with Shandy pop. You must be having a laugh, whats wrong with your figure and exercise routine. Its sounds to me that you worry to much. We all know chocolate is bad for you, but in moderation its ok to have some. You sound to me like you ... (read in full...)
I discovered that my boyfriend has been visiting a known cruising place, a place where guys meet to have anonymous sex. He's told me to trust him but how can I? What do I do here????
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for the last 5 months and I really love and care about him. Last month, I discovered that my boyfriend has been visiting a known cruising place, a place where guys meet to have anonymous sex. I know he had been there a...
A. 12 March 2007: Well done you,
You will no doubt, go on to someone better. What you did takes a lot of courage.
You will be OK XXXX... (read in full...)
He wants me to send him naughty pics but I don't want to, I don't feel comfortable with it, what should I do?
Q. guys..my bf wants me 2 send him naughty pics. i trust him sooo much but i'm not ready 2 do that jus yet. its not that i feel uncomfortable cos of him.. i just think its kinda gross.but he has sent me stuff and is expecting me to send him. this...
A. 9 March 2007: Take everyones advice and dont do it. Boys at that age are not mature enough to handle the responability of keeping intamate photo's. He will without doubt show them to his mates, i can assure you of that. What will they all think of you, that you ... (read in full...)
What are the features that girls look for in a boy/man that makes him sexy?
Q. hello agony aunts this question goes to all the girls/women who are agony aunt, men feel free to answer if u wnt what are the features that girls look for in a boy/man that makes him sexy or peng?? i need help as some girls on msn say im g...
A. 7 March 2007: What an exellent question,
Your on the right track, wanting to know in the first place.
Personally, I look for someone who can hold a conversation and be good company, without it being awkward. Someone that can make me laugh, when i feel low is r... (read in full...)
My husband is a lovely man but lacks confidence and seems to have no social skills, how can I help him?
Q. I have been married for almost ten years. My husband is a good man; kind and loving. However, for the eleven years i have known him, he has had little confidence. He doesn't have great social skills, and finds conversation difficult. He doesn't ...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi,
What a wonderfull, suportive and positive person you are.
Do you think the problem may lie in the fact that you have all these skills but he has none. The trouble is, he has been getting away with being like this for years, and has no reason t... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...
Q. Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi,
This site is a truly marvelous idea. Not only have I had some great advice from people. When i have felt really down and on my own with a problem, I come onto here and I feel better. Its like being surounded with tons of friends, silly I know... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead and get married despite the fact I might be in love with his friend!?
Q. iam a christian and have been going out with my boyfriend for a long time and we are now talking about marriage, but my problem is that i met this other guy whom i also like and we are just good friends but given time am sure it can develop into ...
A. 2 March 2007: Hi,
I agree with the others. Your a cristian right, so how can you take vows with a guy you are clearly not sure about. You should never marry someone you are not 1oo% in love with. To have doubts before you even start, well its not good is it. I re... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just dumped me as I have a big nose!! Im now scared to date again!!!
Q. my boyfriend just dumped me becase i have a big nose. im scared now to go back out into the world and find another man incase he doesnt like my big nose. what shall i do signed bignose...
A. 2 March 2007: Hi,
He is just shallow, you shouldnt let it bother you. I know its easy to say, but we all have our faults. Even though someone may look perfect is dosnt mean that they are. You need to get some confidence for yourself, and stop seeing the size of y... (read in full...)
Am I trying to win a losing battle here?
Q. my bf and i have a few problems i lost my job 2 weeks ago i cant pay the rent and he accusses me off it i tryed to make a plan to pay rent but did not succeed he says he cant trust me no more and that if i dont get to pay the stuff b4 hand then he ...
A. 1 March 2007: What a horrible man, why would you want to stay with him.
My advice would be to tell him to sod off, then get someone to come and share the flat with you and help to pay some of the rent.
He is totally un-surportive, you have only been out of w... (read in full...)
Is there life after death? Is there hell and heaven? Is there reincarnation? Do we wake-up, and find out we're all aliens?
Q. hey this is a very wide question but hopefully itll mean i get more peoples opinions on it!! what you think happens when people die, is there life after death? my dad died recently and i cant help thinking whats happened to him so i'd like to know...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi
I cant believe that some of you are quoting the bible and that there is a hell.
This poor little soul has lost her dad, and needs some comfort.
Just how bad does someone have to be to go to hell by the way (what a load of rubbish).
Y... (read in full...)
Im really worried hes a cross dresser!! and dont know how to approach him about it!!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for 7 months, it has been great and he is a very caring and fun guy, we fell in love and he is moving in with me next month. I was very excited about this until I one day I discovered whilst looking up an item of ...
A. 1 March 2007: Hi,
It tells me he dosnt want you to know, and is really embarassed. You really do need to talk to him, and tell him what you know. It does sound to me like your right about him, but its not the end of the world.
When I first started out with my ... (read in full...)
Im really worried hes a cross dresser!! and dont know how to approach him about it!!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for 7 months, it has been great and he is a very caring and fun guy, we fell in love and he is moving in with me next month. I was very excited about this until I one day I discovered whilst looking up an item of ...
A. 28 February 2007: Wow, thats a tricky situation,
You must do the only thing you can, and talk to him about it. Its the only way you will find out.
My guess is though, he wont admit it for a while (if he is). You will have to be very kind and understanding about th... (read in full...)
I Absolutely Adore Older Women
Q. Hi, this is going to be very short, I am so attacted to mature womens, (aged 45-55), I am only 37, is this normal? should I be worry? I am not saying I don't like the younger age, but they just don't do it for me the same. please advice Thank...
A. 28 February 2007: Hi,
Well i have never been out with a guy older than me. They are always 3-5 years younger. I dont know why, it just seems to happen that way.
My boyfriend has always gone for older women. When he was 18 he had a G/F of 34. I think thats a bit much... (read in full...)
Is there life after death? Is there hell and heaven? Is there reincarnation? Do we wake-up, and find out we're all aliens?
Q. hey this is a very wide question but hopefully itll mean i get more peoples opinions on it!! what you think happens when people die, is there life after death? my dad died recently and i cant help thinking whats happened to him so i'd like to know...
A. 28 February 2007: Hi,
So sorry to hear that.
I am an athiest i guess. I believe in being good to people, I dont think you need religion to do that. There are to many wars caused by religion.
But i do believe someone you love can never die. They will always be al... (read in full...)
I'm one of the sweetest girls on earth... until he got drunk and said he'd never marry me and I started hitting and biting him!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living together for one year. We have dated for 3 months before that. I think it is enough time to know each other. Around may we are supposed to have a conversation on getting married. I am (like he says too) one of the ...
A. 28 February 2007: Hi,
My friend has just gone through the same thing. She had a row with her boyfriend in a club, and in front of all his mates, she punched him really hard in the eye.
She went home on her own and he went and stayed at his mates house, The next day... (read in full...)
I discovered that my boyfriend has been visiting a known cruising place, a place where guys meet to have anonymous sex. He's told me to trust him but how can I? What do I do here????
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for the last 5 months and I really love and care about him. Last month, I discovered that my boyfriend has been visiting a known cruising place, a place where guys meet to have anonymous sex. I know he had been there a...
A. 22 February 2007: Hi,
I think he is obviously in denial.He might not be able to face people finding out. If its any consulation, he probably feels worse than you.
I know it will be hard for you, but you have to face facts. He has lied to you to cover himself,... (read in full...)
I have been such an idiot and I love my wife so much but now we're going through a divorce which neither of us really wants, how do I get my wife back?
Q. I cheated on my wife with someone who I would not normally look at( Work colleague), This woman treated me so amaizingly to try to show what I could have!!! She ended up being a nutter and told my wife all about it. My intention at the time was to ...
A. 22 February 2007: Hi
I would just like to say, that I have been reading all the other answers to your question. And whilst I agree we do all make mistakes, and should be able to rectify this if we can. Do you really understand what you did to this lady.
You say that... (read in full...)
I have been such an idiot and I love my wife so much but now we're going through a divorce which neither of us really wants, how do I get my wife back?
Q. I cheated on my wife with someone who I would not normally look at( Work colleague), This woman treated me so amaizingly to try to show what I could have!!! She ended up being a nutter and told my wife all about it. My intention at the time was to ...
A. 21 February 2007: You cant blame everyone else and not yourself.
You acted terrible, and totally selfish.
If this woman had not turned ouy to be a (nutter), would you still be with her.
You could try to talk with your wife and maybe see someone to-gether. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is moving in with me but she hates my ex's cats so has said either they go or she does!
Q. I am going through the final stage of a divorce. When we were together i bought 2 cats for my wife. When we split up and she left she couldn't take them with her and so they have remained with me. I now have a new partner who i have been with f...
A. 21 February 2007: Hi
Thank god you never had kids with her, would you have to have given those up as well?
She is being totally unresonable to you.
If she had an allergy to them, it would be a different story altogether. But just because they are your ex's, she is... (read in full...)
What are the signs to look for when you think your boyfriend is gay?
Q. hi i need some help i think my boyfriend turning gay is there any signs to look for?...
A. 21 February 2007: Hi,
You cannot just turn Gay. The feelings are there from a young age.
I asked one of my Gay male friends once "when did you know you were gay". His reply was when did you know you were straight. Always I guess i told him, and he said, well its... (read in full...)
I like a guy who is 17 years older than I am, would this ever work?
Q. I like a guy who is 17 years older than I am. What do I do about this? Should I act on it or let it pass? I really like him, I'm infatuated. . . But, I'm not sure it could ever work because of the huge age difference. I need some input on this one!!...
A. 21 February 2007: Hi
If you stay together the age difference will notice more when you are about 25. He will be 44? odd years old, and the difference will start to notice, as he will be starting to slow down. Where as you will not yet be in your prime.
It depends ... (read in full...)
Are successful relationships possible after the person has cheated?
Q. has anyone ever taken back a person who has cheated on them, and things had ended up good and happy?...
A. 15 February 2007: I took my husband back after he cheated, but i could not get it all out of my mind. We argued constantly, as I believed he was still lying, and still seeing the girl he went off with. As it turned out I was right, and it ended a few weeks later ... (read in full...)
I am seeing a married man, is there really any hope that he'll want to leave his wife to be with me?
Q. Hi i have been seeing a married guy now for about 7 months, when i first met him he told me he was married so when he offered me his number i declined but we bumped into each other a few more times and i still refused to get into a relation...
A. 14 February 2007: Hi there,
I have been through exactly the same thing myself, im ashamed to say.
My b/f did leave his wife though, and now we are together. But he was very unhappy and had always wanted to leave. I think here lies the diference.
I agree with y... (read in full...)
Help!!! My mother in law is back and now I feel like an old whore!
Q. This is now VERY serious. I had posted about my mother in law who is 68(I am 57) and who acted funny over our lunch date by telling me I had a nice bust and by asking whether I caressed it while I was alone. When I went back home that day I fanta...
A. 14 February 2007: Is this a joke?
I couldnt stop laughing when I read this.
If its not, what the hell were you thinking. She obviously thought you liked it, and wanted more. You must have sat there letting her do this for about ten minutes. I really cant see why ... (read in full...)
I can't believe this but this online girl is messaging my bf! What can I do about this?
Q. So i just found out that my bf talks w/ his ex sometimes or i don't know how much, i thought they were just friends the way they were talking onlineat first, so i was just going to let it go, but i asked him about it and he lied saying he doesn't ...
A. 12 February 2007: Hi,
Its possible he didnt tell her about you, as he is enjoying the flirting with his old ex.
Really you should not have gone into private things, but i can understand why you did. Although a persons privacy is very personal, its very hard not to l... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm not inlove with him. How do I tell him without destroying him?
Q. Hello, I posted a worry a couple of weeks ago, i love him like a brother. I explained i had been with my boyfriend for 10 years, a few months ago we split up for a short while and have recently got back together, but i now realise i love him, but...
A. 12 February 2007: Hi,
You have to be honest with him. Its really hard but its the best thing to do.
You will lose him as a friend for a while, but he may come back as a mate in the future. And he will be gratefull for your honesty.
There is no doubt that you wil... (read in full...)
She asked if I would call her and I said maybe, then she got really offended! Now she won't answer my calls! Whats up with her?
Q. Ok, for about 3 months, I dated this girl maybe twice a month, I wasn't happy with my living situation and couldn't get into any kind of relationship. In December, I moved into a new place, immediately felt better about myself and opened myself up ...
A. 12 February 2007: Hi,
A.Why did you say maybe if you was going to call anyway.
I would have been really hurt, if a guy i was interested in, said this to me.
B.Your only wrong in the fact you said it in the first place, which was kind of stupid, seeing as you like ... (read in full...)
He doesn't have a phone and doesn't call me as much as I'd like him to. Is he playing games or should I give him a chance?
Q. Hey everyone, Little dilema here to say the least. Well, Ive been dating this guy for about a month and a half. We've went out or have seen each other about 5 or 6 times. The problem I had with him at the beginning was he didn't have a phone and he ...
A. 12 February 2007: Hi,
Its only a month and a half, so really you should not expect anything to much. Having said that, if he carries on how he is now, I would think again.
Its obvious that you care more than him about all this.
I think you should stop expecting hi... (read in full...)
My turkish man wants to be with me! Should I marry him or not?
Q. I went on holiday last year to turkey for 8 weeks. While i was there i met a wonderful man. We became really good friends and soon found myself falling for him big time. He told me he felt the same and we soon became an item. We stayed in contact ...
A. 6 February 2007: Hi
Listen to your family, no if buts or maybe's.
Does he have anything to gain from you financially.
Do you know how many of these guys do this, to do exactlly the thing your family are scared of.
If this guy is genuine, why cant he come over and... (read in full...)
Am I with somebody who cant control their urges??
Q. Hi there folks. I've been seeing a girl now for nearly 4 months and I really like her. She's everything that I want in a girl, very affectionate, funny, attractive, etc. When we go out drinking though, I see her rubbernecking at blokes. Last wee...
A. 6 February 2007: Hi
Sorry the reason you want to be with this person is what?
She is showing all the signs that she will break your heart. Why would you put yourself through this, and want to carry on.
She might never be able to comit herself to you anyway.And h... (read in full...)
Why did he hide a new girls number??
Q. My partner took a girls number at his new job and never told me (i checked his phone seen the messages in the deleted box) - he knows that it would cause arguments if i thought he was in touch with someone new. I seen his phone bill lying around a...
A. 6 February 2007: Hi
Who ever invented mobile phones has a lot to answer for, dont you think?. Yes it has helped to get people to stay in touch when they need to, but i wonder if this has been out-weighed by all the torment they cause.
Really and truly, you may neve... (read in full...)
I cant get her out of my mind!
Q. This is a bit strange for me to be doing this, but i just want to hear what everyone else things. I met this lovely women 6 months ago, we really hit it off so well.After a few months she asked me to move in with her and the kids.I of course s...
A. 6 February 2007: Poor you,
I'm sorry but i dont think she is being honest with you. Are you normally a jealous person, or has she made you this way?. If her ex is indeed an ex, what is she doing calling him. You need to move on i think, and start a new life.
Anoth... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband I want a divorce??
Q. I am a indian lady and in a arranged marriage. In the beginnig my husband showed signs of temper then started to throw things. We have 4 kids and i have no familly support , so i started my own business then he stopped my kids going babysitt...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi,
Good for you, how wonderfull you have friend that supports you. I know its extremely hard to get a divorce from an arranged marriage.
You must seek the advice of a solicitor though. I dont agree that you can make this easy so there are no grudg... (read in full...)
I have never been dumped before so why did my ex dump me??
Q. Can someone shed some light on this? My ex dumped me just before Christmas after a 3 month relationship. We had been extremely close friends for 9 months (I helped him get over his ex-fiancee who had been lying and cheating on him) but we waited u...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi,
Like you say, if he really has these women after him. Why is he bothering you. He sounds very immature to me.
Im not sure he knows what he want's, until its out of reach maybe.
I think you are doing the right thing in telling him your busy, a... (read in full...)
He broke it off with me in such a cowardly way. How could he do this after 8 years together?
Q. Im 28 yrs old, and was with one guy for 8 years. We had ups and downs like any relationship, but we always admired and respected each other enough to work through our differences...We were living in a house together for 2 years, things were going ...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi
Maybe he didnt have the courage to tell you to your face. I know you are hurting now, but you will get over it. You will move on and find a man that will love you more than you ever expected. Try to keep yourself busy, and see your friends more... (read in full...)
My family dislike him...so who do I choose? My bf or my family?
Q. i'm having a serious relationship with someone and i really know deep in my heart that this is it. both of us had a colorful yet infamous dating history tho his is much worse and more public. and we both agreed that the past is the past and we're ...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi
I had the same with my parents once, and they had me written out of there will. But I was in love, and told them, nothing was going to stop me seeing this man.
What I will say now though you may not like.
They were right, he beat me black and... (read in full...)
Is width and depth of vagina proportional to brest size of the female?
Q. Is width and depth of vagina proportional to brest size of the female? Intention behind this question is: I am from a society where I cant have sex with partner before marriage. So how can i know sexual compatibility (like too tight/wide etc?)...
A. 5 February 2007: God I Hope not,
There are women out there with big Breasts, me included. And i would hate to think it represents the size of my vagina.
I think you will find as long as your partner is relaxed it will be ok. And if you are in love, it dosn't m... (read in full...)
We are more like close friends...Do I dump her a 2nd time?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years, but I'm just getting tired of the relationship and want to be single. I care for her more like a close friend than a girlfriend, and I want to be honest with her about our relationship. I felt this way ...
A. 5 February 2007: Hi
First make your mind up (what do you want). Have you spoken to her about the way you feel. You can't mess around with her.If you dont want to be with her, then tell her. She will move on and find someone else. There may be tears but better she ... (read in full...)
Finally got the courage to dump my boyfriend and now hes emotionally blackmailing me. What should I do?
Q. I finally got the courage to dump my boyfriend and now hes emotionally blackmailing me. I dont love him anymore and I have feelings for someone else so i told him i didnt want to be with him. Its the only solution i can come to. He has now said to ...
A. 5 February 2007: HI
Its his last attempt at getting his own way. No wonder you left him in the first place. My boyfriend was on the recieving line of this once, and it was really hard not to give in. He had all sorts threatened, and he had two kids to consider. But ... (read in full...)
Is my fiancee cheating on me? What do you all think?
Q. i have been with my fiance for two years now and things are starting to look bad in our relationship. two weeks ago her grandma who lives down the street had some work men in the house refurbishing the place. and she was always there flirting and ...
A. 30 January 2007: Hi,
I hate to say this but she does sound guilty. Have you asked her about the way she is acting. If you have, but she is still being the same to you, she dosn't have much regards for your feelings does she?. Its ok to be a bit flirty, but if it c... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate after seeing a photograph of my boyfriend's ex. But am I just being silly?
Q. I've been in a reltionship with my boyfriend for 4 months. We love each other very much, and I am completely open with him. His last relationship was with a girl that lasted 2 years, and they were engaged. He told me he broke up with her because he ...
A. 23 January 2007: Hi
No your not being silly, its perfectly understandable. My brother went out with a model. She was a really nice person, and all the family liked her. But for one thing or another, it didn't work out.
Then he met his wife. She was not as good loo... (read in full...)
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