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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello,I posted a worry a couple of weeks ago, i love him like a brother. I explained i had been with my boyfriend for 10 years, a few months ago we split up for a short while and have recently got back together, but i now realise i love him, but am not in love with him. He has not moved back in with me and our 2 children but he has made it clear he is totally in love with me and can't wait to spend a future together. How can i let him down and not totally destroy him?? I know i have to accept the fact i will loose a really good friend in him but would like to remain on friendly terms for the childrens sake, please any suggestions??? Thankyou
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, weesue  +, writes (12 February 2007):
 Hi,i really feel for you.But you have to put your happiness first,If you were to move back in with him,it would be an un-happy home,you would be living a lie,trust me i did it.You can love someome but not be in love with them,what you have to do is be honest with yourself first,if your not in love with him why would you put yourself ,the kids,and him through that,you would be living a lie.And if he says that he loves you that much ,he will be greatful to remain friends,and keep in touch with you and the kids.it will be hard for you to tell him how you feel,believe me he will thank you in the end,tell him now don,t keep him hanging on in fault hope,it,s not fair on him or the kids,as they to will be hurt,if you keep putting it off.Tell him you love him dearly as a friend and as a great father to your children,but in the time you spent apart ,you have found that you need time to grow on your own that you,need space to find who you are and that you enjoyed, and liked,how happy you have become.let him know that you will always need him as he knows you like no other ,and friends like him only come by once in a lifetime.he will hurt as first but will love you for your honesty.Speak now or forever be un-happy.Good luck be happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): Be open and honest with him and tell him all that you have told us, honestly you won't regret it. You cannot live your life by not telling him the truth now. He needs and deserves to know.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 February 2007):
 Hi,
You have to be honest with him. Its really hard but its the best thing to do.
You will lose him as a friend for a while, but he may come back as a mate in the future. And he will be gratefull for your honesty.
There is no doubt that you will hurt him, but living a lie could hurt him more.
Give him the chance to get over you, and he may meet another person that will love him in the way he should be.
At least you dont live together, that would have been a lot harder.
Time heals all, and its very true.
good luck X
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