A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my fiance for two years now and things are starting to look bad in our relationship. two weeks ago her grandma who lives down the street had some work men in the house refurbishing the place. and she was always there flirting and showing off i said something to her about it and she just said that i have got to accept that she will always be a flirt no matter how much she loves me and she went back to her grandmas in a strop. recently shes been getting text messages on her fone and shes being realy secretive about it and carrying her fone everywhere. then last night she asked me over to stay the night so i went around and stopped then this morning her alarm went off at 6 and she got up put on a skirt and skimpy top and rushed me out of the house to go home while she went and sat with this work man until her grandma came back. am i being paranoid or is something goin on i dont know but i love her so much and would hate to lose her what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dolomite +, writes (30 January 2007):
Does not sound to me like she is cheating, just flirting and teasing a bit. My guess is she is feeling a little nervous at being engaged at a young age, worried abotu spending her whole lilfe with one person - she wants reassurance that she is attractive to others, and the workmen provide this. Time to sit down and discuss how you ar eboth feelign about your relationship.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 TRUST is one of the cornerstones of any relationship. You don't have this trust for her any more and I can't say I blame you. It seems quite obvious to me that she is interested in one of these workmen. Why should you sit there and let her treat you like this? Think about it... this is your fiance, the woman you are going to spend the rest of your life with. She's telling you she's a flirt and if you don't like it tough! Is that what you want from a woman? Is this the way you want to be treated? Don't you think you deserve better?
Next time you see her, play a little harder to get. Don't be so available to her, tell her you're busy if she calls and you'll call her when you can. If she asks to come round or ask you round tell her it's not suitable as you have things to do. She how SHE feels being treated second best. If she really does have feelings for you then she'll calm down and "come to heel". If she's quite happy giving you your space then she's gone off the boil and things aren't working any more, but at leas you'll know exactly where you stand!
Hopefully you playing harder to get will be a wake up call for her and she'll change her ways in fear of losing you, but one way or another, at least you'll know.
Eve
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hi,
I hate to say this but she does sound guilty. Have you asked her about the way she is acting. If you have, but she is still being the same to you, she dosn't have much regards for your feelings does she?. Its ok to be a bit flirty, but if it conmes down to blatantly upsetting your partner, then its offensive.
You are no doubt driving yourself mad over this, its a horrible thing to not know. I think you should talk to her, and if you still have no joy, the only other alternative is to finish with her.
Its really hard to let go, when you love a person i know, but do you want to be treated like a door mat. You didnt say how old you both are, maybe she see's this relationship different from you.
Hope all goes well XX
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