A
female
age
41-50,
*na26
writes:My boyfriend and I have been living together for one year. We have dated for 3 months before that. I think it is enough time to know each other. Around may we are supposed to have a conversation on getting married. I am (like he says too) one of the sweetest girls on earth. We never fought... Before last Saturday... Well, he went through a delicate but not serious surgery in the beginning of February, and i had to stay home with him for a whole week (yes, he was peeing in a bowl and stuff). But when he wasn't high on prescription drugs he was working (which he didn't need to). Valentine's Day came, he was already fine and going to work, and he gave me roses (yes i loved them, very romantic!) but no card or note at all (i wanted something i could keep too, as a souvenir of our second valentine's day together).On that same week and the following he started working nonstop until 3 a.m. every night, and then started being stressed and exhausted, and snapping at me for no reason, or misunderstanding what i was saying. His ex girlfriend is a musician and was in town for a concert, last Saturday( Well, Friday he had lunch with her what kinda hurt me, but they are friends, i have to put up with it). Alright, after the concert, he- out of nowhere- turns to me and says:"I'm not going to marry you". And i had almost no words. He kept on asking me "aren't you gonna say anything?" I just told him he was drunk and out of his mind. But we were on the way to another concert with friends, so i decided to get drunk to forget that he said that. Happens that, after all was done, i was extremely drunk and on the way out i started beating him up hard. And i not only beat him up on the street on the way to the car, i restarted hitting him in the house (not much this time). He has some bruises and a bite. Since Sunday i have been sleeping at my best friend's house. On Sunday night we talked and he said that he loved me, missed me but didn't know what to do, and that he was going to decide when i should be back home. Monday night i couldn't resist and called him, and he said he will only want me back after the bruises are gone. I don't remember where i hit him, and how bad the bruises should look by now, and i can't wait to look in his eyes. I love him madly, i miss him like hell, my guilt is enormous. And I'm sure he's the one for me and I'm the one for him. Help! What should / shouldn't I do?
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female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (28 February 2007):
 Oh what we do when alcohol is involved!! And when we find out what we did when we are sober!
I hope that you two get back together, and put this incident behind you and never do that again, if you can help it! If you really love someone, you shouldn't hurt them...emotionally or physically! You are very lucky that the police wasn't involved!!
I hope the very best for you two, and that you will get back together!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 Hi,
My friend has just gone through the same thing. She had a row with her boyfriend in a club, and in front of all his mates, she punched him really hard in the eye.
She went home on her own and he went and stayed at his mates house, The next day he came back to get some clothes to stay at his sisters. My mate said he had the biggest black eye she had ever seen, and she was gutted she had done this.
Thankfully, after much begging on her part he came home, when the bruise had gone. They have sorted themselves out. She was desperately sorry she hit him, and really hurt his ego, belting him in front of his mates.
She was extremly drunk and he had been flirting with a barmaid. Not an excuse I know, but drink and arguments dont go do they. Things are always worse, when there is drink involved.
My advice would be to leave him alone and let him calm down. He had the perfect excuse to get rid of you if he wanted to, didnt he?. But he never. So he must still love you. Just promise to yourself, never to get like that again, and put your relationship in such a dangerous position.
Im sure once he calms down, you will be ok. Violence never solves anything.
good luck honey XX
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