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... Send *ELLULAH a private message | | | *ELLULAH's profile:Hi, I have been through loads in my life. Marriage break up, boyfriend break ups, and been a single parent. I have been treated really bad sometimes, but i think this is all to do with life. I dont hold grudges, and have a good sence of humour. I just love all my friends and family, and have loads of support from them. So i thought i could share that with a few of you. I have asked for advice a few times. You dont always want to hear it, but there are some smart people out there.
I have now found, after a lot of searching, my soul mate. But lifes not all a bed of roses for us. But he keeps me smiling, well most of the time anyway. |
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Why do men expect me to pay thier way when they find out my occupation!?
Q. Hello, I have a question. I'm not sure exactly how to ask it, but I am 20 years old, and typically go out to bars and such with my sister where sometimes I meet men. When asked about my occupation, the men tend to make jokes about me becoming ...
A. 4 April 2007: Hi,
Why do you tell them what you do anyway. If you only just met a person its none of their bussiness is it?.
Its sounds to me like you enjoy them knowing you are well off, but dont want the backlash.
Dont get me wrong, if I had done so well... (read in full...)
He acts immature around his friends, should I stay with him or break up ?
Q. The man I fell in love with has known me since i was in the second grade. He knows everything about me and he also treats me as if we were still in elementary school. He loves me back(as he says)but I don't know if I should continue dating him if he ...
A. 4 April 2007: Hi,
Of course he acts immature. If he is the same age as you honey, he is still a child himself.
Dont you know that men are about 3-5 years behind us girls, and the bad news! they dont get much better.
My partner is 43 and he still acts like a ... (read in full...)
Are these emails as innocent as he says they are ?
Q. I recently, saw lots of forwarded mails to my husband from a woman. He says that she and her husband are his clients. These mails are very inappropriate, sex jokes and all that. He said that he only met her husband and her about three times for ...
A. 4 April 2007: Hi,
I think its a good sign, that she says in her email she hadnt heard from him for a while.
But never the less, she is definatly flirting with hiim. It could be that he feels guilty about the emails, and of course that would effect him in the b... (read in full...)
Married for 27 years, he cheated at 23 yrs, and now constantly flirts depsite me asking him not to! What should I do ?
Q. I have been married 27 years and even though I keep telling my husband that it bothers and hurts me when he constantly looks at and makes comments about other women, he continues to do it and tells me to stop freaking out. I don't freak out, I ...
A. 3 April 2007: Oh my god, you tore a piece of paper in half.
And you can never replace it, unless you go to the licence office and get another that is. Although why you would want to, I cant imagine.
Seriously, take a look at what you have just told us. If I... (read in full...)
Married for 27 years, he cheated at 23 yrs, and now constantly flirts depsite me asking him not to! What should I do ?
Q. I have been married 27 years and even though I keep telling my husband that it bothers and hurts me when he constantly looks at and makes comments about other women, he continues to do it and tells me to stop freaking out. I don't freak out, I ...
A. 3 April 2007: Hi,
I think its interesting that you say you do not have the two things this man likes the most, blonde hair and big boobs. You have to laugh, doesn't this man scream shallow.
You sound fine to me, and like you say you take care of yourself... (read in full...)
My wife of 2 years told me its over and there is no one else, So why is she kissing her lesbian friend!!?
Q. Me and my wife have been married for 2 years. she got a new job then about december time she started to go out about three times a week with work friends. They were lesbians. she has told me she has been unhappy with our relationship for a while...
A. 2 April 2007: Hi,
I think you just hit the nail on the head yourself. She was there and your wife has tried it. Maybe she felt like this for a long while, and has now been given the chance to try this out,!!! who knows?.
You cant make her stay with you, if she d... (read in full...)
Married for 27 years, he cheated at 23 yrs, and now constantly flirts depsite me asking him not to! What should I do ?
Q. I have been married 27 years and even though I keep telling my husband that it bothers and hurts me when he constantly looks at and makes comments about other women, he continues to do it and tells me to stop freaking out. I don't freak out, I ...
A. 2 April 2007: Yes Leave him.
You wont change him, because you have let him get away with murder. He does this to you because he has no respect for you. Really when you think about it why should he change.
How about you changing?, and standing up for yourself... (read in full...)
I want her to take an HIV test as shes had a few sexual partners, she says I should just trust her!! Its wrecking us please help!
Q. Hi...I came across this site during a desperate attempt to resolve my relationship which is falling apart as I type. I'm a 24 1/2 year old male who has had his first serious girl friend ever. I was a virgin before meeting her, and fell in love...
A. 2 April 2007: I Find this facanating to read, you speak of your virginity like its the holy-grail. Maybe it is to you, but not as important to her.
She is asking you to trust something she does not know herself. How do you know that she does not care?, or if she ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating do you think... ? Or am I being too paranoid?
Q. I need some true help! My boyfriend of almost a year has suddenly begun to change his attitude towards me. I think he is cheating and I even know with who. I ask him about it and he just says that they hang out and I shouldnt "trip" on it. Pr...
A. 2 April 2007: Hi,
Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick, do you mean the child is not yours as well. If so what are you doing honey. Surely you can see that this guy is a complete sh**. I understand completly, how hard it is for you to leave, but for good... (read in full...)
Do you think that she would like to make it work, or is she scared of how her parents will react ?
Q. I really want to go out wth a grl who is 17 and I am 27. She said she won't date men who are over 22, Another day she told me over 23 and another day over 25. Also, she said that if she dated me, her parents would disown her! She knows that I...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi,
I got tricked into going out with a guy much younger than me, when I was 31. I met him in a club and seemed really nice, but quite obviously younger. When I asked him how old he was he told me 27. I went out the next day with him, for lunc... (read in full...)
4 years ago his girlfriend killed herself, Hes still hurting over it, how can I help him, I truly love him!
Q. I love my boyfriend very much but he has a problem I genuinly don't know how to help him with. 4 years ago, his girlfriend killed herself and we have just gone past her anniversary recently, which has really got to him. He still feels like he co...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi
That was an excelent answer from Charlie, You cant force him to get over this. The only thing I would say however is that he may think anti-depresants are bad but is cutting himself any better. He needs to see a doctor, to get some help. Why does... (read in full...)
We have diffferent religions, what are the chances of us making it ?
Q. Hi everyone, My partner and I, have different religions. What are the chances of this working out?...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi,
It will depend on your relegion wont it?.
If you are in love it should only be a small problem. And if you really care about each other, should religion really play a big part in your life to-gether.
You can take it I am not religous, as... (read in full...)
Guys, would you sleep with a girl who isnt toned and who has some cellulite?
Q. guys, would u sleep with a girl who isnt toned and who has some cellulite?...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi,
I think its quite sad that you should ask this. I presume you have this massive defect that no other girl has (joke). Let me tell you, my B/F ex was as skinny as a rake, perfectly toned, but her personality was horrible. Ok, Guys might like... (read in full...)
Im seeing an older guy and all we do is have sex, plus Im not sure if I trust him!
Q. I have been seeing a guy alot older than me 4 about 2mths now, however all we do is just have sex.. he has made suggestions of going out but we haven't yet, the only thing that bothers me is he lives with his baby's mum and says he is there for ...
A. 29 March 2007: Hi,
Does this guy tell you he wants to be with you, if so what is stoping him. Ok so he wants to be there for his kids, that doesn't mean he has to live there does it?.
More importantly, what do you want from him. If all you do is have sex, the... (read in full...)
He blurted out about another girl being 18 and a virgin and laughed! But so am I, whats he gonna think!?
Q. Ok firstly I want you to know that this man I'm with is not a d*** head so please don't suggest that I get rid of him based on his ignorance... ...ok now to what I have to say. I have known this guy for a couple of years but only over the past co...
A. 28 March 2007: Why are you worried, you should be proud.
So what if he laughed about it with his mates, just goes to show he is a bit immature thats all. Come on! don't we all say stupid things after one to many. And as he doesn't know about you, you cant real... (read in full...)
Are anti-depressants bad for you?
Q. I went to the doctors yesterday because I was feeling really tired all the time and really down. He prescribed me anti-depressants and I started taking them last night. My housemate went nuts and told me they were really bad for me but I think I ...
A. 28 March 2007: Hi,
Shandy Pop is so right, in the end the only person to really get you out of this is you. As I said before, I am not against anti-depressants, but you should be really carefull. Go see your mates and fill your life with fun. Its the best medi... (read in full...)
Why am I too scared to leave him, even though I know I'm not happy!?
Q. Say your in a bad relationship and you know that the person your with is not the one for you. All you do is argue and when it gets bad you physically fight. The thing you hate the most is not being able to communicate – little things you need to ...
A. 28 March 2007: Hi,
I know exactly why you do this to yourself. Its because you are affraid of being alone or the un-known. I know how you feel, I have been there. It should be an easy thing to do... you dont get on, you fight over nothing and are constantly unha... (read in full...)
Are anti-depressants bad for you?
Q. I went to the doctors yesterday because I was feeling really tired all the time and really down. He prescribed me anti-depressants and I started taking them last night. My housemate went nuts and told me they were really bad for me but I think I ...
A. 28 March 2007: Hi,
They can be very helpfull if you are really depressed, but not on a long term basis. I had to take them when my relationship fell apart, and they were really good, they got me back feeling ok about myself. But I have a friend who thinks that... (read in full...)
She says I'm smothering her and needs time apart! Will time heal this relationship ?
Q. My relationship of 18 months has been fading for several months. I am as committed as I was in the beginning but she says that I am smothering her and needs time apart. There has been a tremendous lack of intimacy and she is unable to explain why? ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi,
I hate to say this, but do you know if there is anyone else involved. (I hope i am wrong).
Sometimes you can love someone but not want to be with them, thats really hard on the other person. But all you can do is take a step back and let her ... (read in full...)
This girl is spreading lies about me because I said no to dating her! What can I do ?
Q. OK,Well i have recently asked a girl out. And another girl likes me and i said no to her and she is making up lies that make mad but i dont want to seem like if someone talkes about me ill snap on them what can i do this girl said i went out with...
A. 27 March 2007: Stick up for yourself, tell her nicely to stop what she is saying. If that doesn't work then tell her she may not like rumours to be spread about her, but if she carries on you may have to start fighting back, and spreading some.
She is just a woma... (read in full...)
If I don't have sex with her she says she'll break up with me, the problem is her age, she's only 14.
Q. I'm in love with a younger girl. I don't have a problem with the age gap because age is just a number to me, but I turn 19 this November, and she just turned 14. The thing is that I love her so much, but she wants to have sex. I object to this ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hi
Its a very fine line here isn't it. Really you should not be dating her in the first place, but you do seem to care about her. And if you do love her then surely you would never hurt her, right?. You see here is the difference, you are matu... (read in full...)
My partner has just brought his ex a new house! Hes always doing things for her and the kids, and I feel like they will get back together, he says not, but its hard to trust with the history!!
Q. All, Can I ask your advice on something?. I have been with my partner for a couple of years. He has two grown up children, only one lives at home though. He has just sold his house and is buying his ex a new one (alright for some). My problem is he...
A. 26 March 2007: Thanks everyone for the reply's.
I have decided there is only so much you can take, and although I support him in looking after his children, I will not take anymore cr**. I love him dearly, but the next I have of any hint he is up to no good, I wi... (read in full...)
Do you think that he slept with her, and just lied to me ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for six months. Then today he tells me that he went out with a female friend of his and they went drinking and then he ended up sleeping at her place because it was late at night! I was a bit shocked at this ...
A. 23 March 2007: Hi,
It does sound dodgy but, maybe he is telling the truth. Tell him your not happy he has done this, and dont want him to ever do this again.
Did he have to tell you or would you have found out anyway. Because if you wouldn't have found out, I t... (read in full...)
My health is at risk! Please help!
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ive-had-sex-with-a-woman-for-the.html) I wrote a question about my girlfriend who has an off putting fishy smelling vagina. Ok well I asked if it was normal to smell like that and I have done my reasearch an...
A. 23 March 2007: Hi
You have only known her for two weeks, and you feel you know her well enough to go down there but not to tell her there is a problem. Although I am sure that the information you have been given is true, I would also like to tell you that the comm... (read in full...)
Do you ever think your guy is a skank??
Q. Have you ever got mean thoughts about a guy you like ..say you got a thought of him being a skank or wondering if he was? I feel like i don't deserve him because i keep having thoughts! I feel like i have to tell him but why?! ah please help! Th...
A. 23 March 2007: Hi,
What do you mean by skank?. Do you mean dirty or bad habbits, or what?
Sorry, not sure about the meaning of this.
I think everyone has negative feelings about there partners sometimes, its natural isn't it. It's making sure that they dont ta... (read in full...)
I need some excitement ibn my life...and am looking at my sisters husband!!
Q. My name is Helen. I'm married with 2 kids, but I'm feeling a little unhappy lately. My husband is a migrant (from Lebanon) and lately I don't feel like we have much in common. He doesn't really challenge me enough intellectually, and sexually things ...
A. 23 March 2007: You say you are intellectual, but quite honestly i have never heard of anything so stupid in my life.
Is there something wrong with you, thats your sister's husband you are talking about. How can you even consider doing this to your own fami... (read in full...)
Does race affect penis size?
Q. I know this question has probably been answered several times but here goes anyway. Does race effect penis size?...
A. 22 March 2007: I have been with two Guys (white from the U.K). One was hung like a small pony, and the other a hamster. The problem was, the one with the big willy had sex like a pony, not very Sensitive or good at all. But the other, (my current partner) is ... (read in full...)
Why cant a guy just be straight with you when they want to break up!?
Q. when a guy wants to breakup with you why can't they just tell you straight instead of ignoring your texts and calls?...
A. 22 March 2007: Hi,
Interesting!!! only one guy had the guts to answer. Do girls do this as well, I think some must but you never hear it much do you?
I know men are supposed to be the stronger sex, but we all know by now, that this is total cr**. Most men I kn... (read in full...)
Is a framed picture too 'sappy'??
Q. IS a pic of me and my b/f in a frame too sappy to give a guy for an anniversary??..its a wooden frame engraved with our names and a nice saying. I got a practical gift as well. ...
A. 21 March 2007: I think it's lovely, so what if it is a bit sappy. It's a lovely thought. I am a girl though.
Just asked my B/F, he says its nice too.
XX... (read in full...)
He wont let me finish with him, would he really end his life, or is this emotional blackmail ?
Q. I tried to break up with my fiance on Friday, and like always he tried to talk me out of it. He said he would call me later in the night and told me to answer my phone. I wanted to end it, so I didn't answer. He called and texted me so many times, ...
A. 20 March 2007: Hi,
Buy yourself a new phone, throw the other one away and tell him its over. Be nice to him, but firm. Do not let this guy blackmail you, and keep you with him in an un-happy relationship. If he wants to be that silly, there is nothing you can do a... (read in full...)
His 15 year old daughter doesn't like me so we have to keep our relationship secret!
Q. I need your help i have bin going out with a 41 yr old with a 15 yr old daughter she doesnt want me in their lives i spoke to my partner who has said that we will ave to keep it a secret and that i carnt phone him while he around her the thing is he ...
A. 20 March 2007: Hi,
How long has he been split with his wife for?. If its a long time, its possible the girl has just not grown to except this. She will in the end, but that could take some time. Kids can be very selfish, and will always try to get there own way.... (read in full...)
I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks! I don't want to marry him yet I can't call it off! What should I do?
Q. I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks time and i feel sick about the whole thing. His parents are chuffed to bits. My son hates him and their family. I cannot get anyone to have my son for one night while we get to the venue, which is 50 miles ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi,
I am going to take a different stand on this.
Do you love this man, or are you putting your son's feelings first?. Is this man good to you, or did you decide to marry him, just not to be on your own anymore. I ask because, although I agree ch... (read in full...)
She wants to end it as she feels I cant deal with her son always being in her life!!!
Q. I'm 18.. have been with my 16 year old girl georgina for 4 months now...i've never felt this way about anyone..i love her so much. she has a son who just turned 1...who sees his dad every weekend. a month or so ago i told her he feels like my own.....
A. 19 March 2007: Hi,
Its a Massive responsibility, taking on another mans child. Yes he will always be part of her life, but that doesn't mean that you cant be as well. Tell her how you feel, and how much you love them both. So what if he reminds you of his dad,... (read in full...)
I have recently become confused about my sexuality even though I'm Married. Please help!
Q. I have been married for 8 years and have recently become confused about my sexuality I have children and don't want to hurt them or my husband but my life is spiraling out of control and I can't cope much longer please help me. ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi,
Is there a reason, that would have trigered this off, for you. Have you met another woman, and this is why you are confused?. You dont say much in your letter, so its rather hard to tell. Have you ever had these feeling's before?. If its some... (read in full...)
I've just found a valentines card to my husband from another women!!!!
Q. I found a valentines card sent to my husband from another woman. hes never mentioned it as a joke.... what should i do?...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi,
Stina is so right, dont jump to any conclusion's. He could have a totally good explanation for not showing it to you. If he was worried about you finding it, wouldn't he have hid it better. If he is up to anything that would be a stupid thin... (read in full...)
I dealt with our break up by pretending he didnt exist, trouble is I am bound to see him soon, how can I deal with it!!?
Q. Hi everyone, would really appreciate some advice. my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years dumped me just before Christmas. We had a long distance relationship but it was very serious. He ended it as we were having some problems and he just couldnt see it w...
A. 19 March 2007: Hi,
It will probably be really awkward for you I know, but if you can keep a stiff upper lip, and try to be cool about it, I believe you will have past a mile stone. How do you know how you will feel, maybe it wont bother you quite as much as you ... (read in full...)
Why does she always agree to meet up and then never show!?
Q. dear readers im currently having a problem with a girl. i met her online and we talk when ever shes on and also talk to her on the phone aswell. i have asked her to meet up with her and she goes yes but then never shows up and comes up with ex...
A. 19 March 2007: Why do you keep giving her the chance to let you down. Possibly you would forgive the girl once for not turning up for date, but three?.
She is clearly giving you the runaround and playing some pathetic childish game. Its up to you, but i woul... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so guilty as if I'm causing trouble for other people all the time?
Q. Why do i feel so much guilty of causing some trouble to other people. For example, i am extremely careful in the words i choose to talk with others. Sometimes even if i push or touch others accidentally, i immediately feel guilty and ask for ...
A. 13 March 2007: Hi,
I thought I was the only person that felt like this, so its some relief that there are others.
I have asked my mates the same question about myself. And they think its to do with my childhood. I was not liked very much by my mother, and was ... (read in full...)
Does she want a relationship with me or does she want to remain single?
Q. Hi there , im 21 and have been going out with a girl for 22ish months. The relationship has been going on and off within the last few months, finding out firstly if i wanted to stay in this relationship, only finding round the corner that i re...
A. 13 March 2007: Wow, you have a lot going on dont you?
You cant expect her to come back after her exams, she may not want to.
At your age, relationships are confusing. It takes a while to get the right one, and she may not be it. It also seems to me, that its a ca... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to have a problem with anyone I have ever dated. He's on anti depressants for it! How can I help him?
Q. I have a problem no one seems to be able to resolve and its breaking my relationship up. my boyfriend and I have been together 18 months and got engaged last summer. He has a problem with anyone I have ever dated in the past and has ended up dep...
A. 13 March 2007: I have been in your boyfriends situation, so I know how he feels. Although mine was not as drastic as his, I still used to make myself feel miserable over it.
The only thing you can do is be patient with him. My boyfriend and myself nearly brok... (read in full...)
I'm going on holiday in 4 months - how do I tone up - the mile a day run isn't working!
Q. Hey. I'm going on holiday in four months, and would like to tone up for that. I run for a mile every other day, and do a 30 minute bike ride for the days I'm not running. Everyday, I do 100 sit ups, squats, leg excersises, tushups, etc. However, ...
A. 13 March 2007: I agree with Shandy pop. You must be having a laugh, whats wrong with your figure and exercise routine. Its sounds to me that you worry to much. We all know chocolate is bad for you, but in moderation its ok to have some. You sound to me like you ... (read in full...)
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