A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a indian lady and in a arranged marriage. In the beginnig my husband showed signs of temper then started to throw things. We have 4 kids and i have no familly support , so i started my own business then he stopped my kids going babysitter so i work less. I am not finacally strong , i went out met someone white i used to talk to him like a friend but understands where I am at. 9 months ago my husband got angry and threw me and my kids out.I tried to go to my parents but they sent me back i trusted in my new friend and found true love in him and has asked me to move to canada with kids ,but am scared of my husband or how i tell him i want divorce. First time i have found love and trust i have known my friend for two years i have more trust in him then my familly he is 52. Please advise, he is from a bad marriage as well and two kids. I've tried talking to my husband but he says he will do again.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Hi,
Good for you, how wonderfull you have friend that supports you. I know its extremely hard to get a divorce from an arranged marriage.
You must seek the advice of a solicitor though. I dont agree that you can make this easy so there are no grudges.
Any man that can throw out his wife and CHILDREN is not going to listen to reason. You need to get expert advice financialy, so that you can make clear desicions on your future together.
Can I just say, you are an insperation to women like you, who could be trapped.
I only wish my friend had your strength, and had left her terrible situation.
We are not allowed to see her anymore, her husband took her to pakistan.
wish you all the best XXX
A
female
reader, Altindie  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 I think you should see a lawyer before you make any more decisions, especially those of the 'moving house' kind. You CAN get a divorce but it won't be easy, you'll have to negotiate with your husband and it will be a long and emotional process for both of you and you'll need to be prepared for that emotionally and financially. Don't leave your husband with any grudges still intact and at least try to settle everything to some level of agreement so that the divorce will be a little easier, especially on your children.
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