A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hope you guys can help.I recently moved to a new city and joined a social club to meet and make new friends. Within weeks I started dating a guy who was a regular at the club. We were together for 6 weeks when I broke it off. I then took a break from the social club to give me head space but went back after 2 weeks. Immediately, me and the guy got back together. He then phoned me 2 weeks later and ended it. Turned out he was seeing another girl behind my back and now wanted to be with her. She is also a regular at the social club and knew he was meant to be seeing me.Problem is whether I should go back to the social club? Would it rake up bad memories? Or after 3 odd months of on/off relationship I should not be bothered? Do people see their exes and the people they cheated with, all the time?I want to make new friends but feel the social club may not be the best place given what has happened?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): I am the original question asker.
Thank you so much for your responses.
Well I spoke to the Club Organiser who I thought was a friend about me returning. He urged me to go back, but when I told him the situation, he just laughed! Then he told me I got back together with my ex because I was weak and and it was all my fault!! He was very cruel.
I realised he was manipulating me, so more people would come to his God forsaken club.
I am sure I can move on to other clubs with no cheaters and no terrible, callous Club Organisers.
Thank you guys, for your help.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 You could go back but do expect it to be uncomfortable -- especially so soon after your break up. I remember I had a hard time going back to a night club where I met my first girlfriend. Seeing her dancing with other guys was like a dagger in my heart. I finally found other things to do, however, and learned and grew from it.
I think the decision is yours on whether you go back. If by going there, it is going to make you more lonely and miserable, I think then you'll need to explore other social opportunities. It happens and only you know how much it will bother you to see him potentially being friendly with another woman.
You may want to give it a little more time to let the emotions die off a little more before attempting to go back.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left +, writes (15 February 2013):
 It depends on whether you are over him or not because if you're not then this would be a bad idea because it might well bring up feelings. Although if it has been a while and you know that you are over him then go back aslong as your not going to be stuck with them and you can go and hang out with people that you like then go for it because he's the idiot and you havent done anything wrong. And if you have made friendships that you see when you there then you should not let them get in the way of that.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): These things happen all the time. I don't see why you shouldn't go back. Go back and enjoy.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 February 2013):
 I suggest that you separate the guy (and what went on between the two of you) from the social club....
IF you found the club to be a venue that you liked, and it had activities that you enjoyed, then return and spend as much time as you wish, there.
Of course, you will encounter this ex- and his new sweetie... but don't let that deter you. (In fact, it may be gratifying to learn that he and she feel uncomfortable when they encounter YOU!)...
If - on the other hand - the only reason(s) that you found the social club to be to your liking is because you met this man there.... then, perhaps, not spending any time at that club would be the best choice for you....
Do either... but convince yourself that you're doing it for reasons that are YOUR choosing....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Seabreezes +, writes (15 February 2013):
You need to stop worrying about other people (ex or no ex) and do what YOU want to do.
If you enjoy the social club, then go to the social club, so long as its not for the reason of rocking the boat with the ex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): I can tell you from my own experience that I felt very wierd when that happened to me. And I tried to enjoy the club again but to be honest that didnt work for me and I endend up in a new one. You can go and see how you feel.
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