A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are live in different houses. We have always lived like this due to work and children's schooling but now the relationship is at the point where we would be described at separated. I need love, security and affection and he is very cold and distant towards me. Sometimes he will send a random text but often will let weeks go by without making any attempt to speak to me or see me. Often if I call he will not pick up. I am going through a lot of difficult times at the moment with work and business and I would appreciate moral support and comfort but all I get is endless advice which is good but not what I am looking for. If I try to explain what I need he will cut the call or just ignore me. Our relationship went downhill because he has a great deal of baggage which I found very difficult to cope with as he handles it all in a way which is alien to me. My friends have told me point blank that he quite clearly does not like me anyomore and does not want to be with me so why am I hanging onto a guy who occasionally throws me scraps but I am a loyal tenacious creature and don't like to give up. The coldness of the dealings with him are hard to ignore and even the way his voice is when he answers the phone when he sees it is my number is with absolute loathing. I want to change things around with us but he is totally unreceptive.He even sent valentine flowers to me in my maiden name! If you are going to do that why bother!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (17 February 2013):
 HI
how horrible to be going through this, but you both allowed this in the begining by living seperate lives. I think the last straw was the valentines flowers in your maiden name :( he is showing you he see's himself as a single man not married. You can either suggest marriage counciling ( which could benifit you both and see why his turned so cold towards you ) OR you can get a divorce and let this man go on his merry way.
If it were me in this situation I would divorce him and not bother to look back . If the children are his then you will have to come to some sort of arranegment on where and when he can visit them. his baggage what's this about? was he married with another family before? either way you should do what's best for you and your children, and deep down only you know what that is.
Good luck
Mandy x
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (17 February 2013):
 At the end of your litany describing a peculiar "non-relationship" you asked: "If you are going to do that why bother!"
THAT is your answer: "Why bother"??????
Good luck....
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