A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've recently entered a new relationship, where I am his first proper sexual partner (apart from a couple of drunken one night stands) but he's not mine. In general, everything is great, the relationship's really good and very open and as much as possible I've tried to bring that into the bedroom as well so we do talk about what we want and what we don't. The only problem is when things start to heat up he tends to try and head fairly quickly to the main event without much foreplay, often before I'm really ready. I've made a point of trying to slow things down a few times, and dropped quite heavy hints, but I don't think he understands that I need him to slow down and spend more time with me first. I know he's insecure about the fact that I have a history and he doesn't anyway, and I'm just looking for a way to bring it up that's not going to come off as critical or hurt him... any suggestions?Thanks for your help :) x
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 February 2013):
 I suggest that you consider a "sexual" discussion sometime where and when you are not on the runway to a sexual encounter....... Sit him down and tell him just what you've told us, herein. He may - or probably - doesn't know just how important it is for a woman to have lots of foreplay.... AND, quite honestly, when we guys are young, we just CAN'T WAIT to get to that delightful spot between your legs...
Explain to him that you , too, like him there... BUT that your starter-motor is just 12 volts (not 110 Volt, like his) so requires more warm-up time (P.S. He'll LOVE the analogy!!!!)..... And that taking that longer warm-up will get him to learn just how much you CAN rev-up when you've had it.....
... and PLEASE... make sure that you present this in such a manner that HE has no reason to believe that it is "coming from" your greater sexual experience....
Good luck....
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 February 2013):
He's a man and your are communicating with him like he's a woman. Don't "beat around the bush", just be honest and to the point. Tell him that women need more time to warm up than men so, so he needs to slow down. Tell him that more foreplay makes the entire experience much more enjoyable for you.
If that hurts his feelings he needs to grow up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013): "Woah, there big boy, what's the hurry, go back down there and finish the job."
OP of course he doesn't understand you want more foreplay, all you do is make hints worried about his ego. Next time you're fooling around, just give him some sexy instructions, tell him what you want.
You can playfully, sexily and suggestively tell him you want your "pussy licked, nipples sucked" whatever you want.
Now dirty talk, command style works with me, the more forceful sounding the better. "Get your fucking head back down there and get to work" really works for me. Maybe you need to be softer and say it in a "I'd really love it if you went back down there and played around for a while before get onto the sex. I want you eat your fill." You know? Be creative.
OP you're not going t hurt his ego by telling him what you'd like to do as long as you don't criticize what he's currently doing, make it a request or a demand as an addition, not a correction if you know what I mean.
OP we guys aren't as fragile as you may think, there is almost nothing hotter than a woman asking you to "eat her pussy", how is asking for a sex act a criticism or reason for him to feel bad?
I know you know no to but I have to say it, do not make the massive mistake of saying something like "that's what my ex did" it seems obvious but you'd be surprized how many people will say something like that.
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