A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im in need of advice. i been with a guy for over 6 years and is been a roller coaster, i sometimes was happy sometimes wasnt, we dont live together but that was the plan to move in together, we met in new york but his choice of living was florida orlando to be exact, i did the move with him but ended up living in a hotel because money was tight and we never was able to save money because of his smoking weed habit. within 1 month of being out there i got into a car accident with him me falling out the car because we got into a arguement in the car and hes the type that when he gets mad he needs to hurt something or somebody, after the accident he got arrested and was put on probation for 3 months so that meant no smoking for him, at that time he became a very angry person to the point that he was demanding things from me, to make a very long story short i ended up leaving florida and came back to NY and he threatened to kill himself because i left, till this day he says that because im going to college to obtain my bachelors in social work and he thinks im coming back to florida which i really dont want to but he always threatens me that if i leave him he will kill himself because he feels without me he has no life, i really want to leave this man but im scared that he really might do that.. what can i do
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female
reader, Spaghetti +, writes (24 September 2013):
DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
I bf did this to me ALL the time. Funnily enough I was in Orlando when he did it again. What I did was calling the police on him, saying "I am afraid he will self harm" and he STOPPED.
If his threats are real they will help him, if he is lying he will stop
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 September 2013):
 Don't let him blackmail you in this manner. YOU don't "owe" him a darn thing.... and WHATEVER he might do to himself belongs to HIM - not YOU....
Leave him alone (in Florida)... get on with YOUR OWN life... and don't give it a second thought!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 September 2013):
 Pardon me for sounding cynical- but, did not your self preservation instinct kick in ytt to tell you " hey, if somebody's got to be killed, better him than I ? " ?!
He causes you to fall off a car in motion during an argument !, and he's the type that when he gets angry needs to hurt somebody... well, then let him be angry and go hurt somebody else .
He threatens to kill himself... I think deep down you know this is all drama and manipulation. He would not - he's just used to get things his way , he's like one of those tantrumy kids who keep their breath in till they are blue in their face ,to scare their parents.
But, supposing there is one in a million chance that he WOULD go ahead and off himself ... so, what do you propose to do , what's the alternative ? Give up your future and goals, and go back to live a miserable precarious life with a violent ex con and drug addict, so that HE can be happy ?
What about YOUR happiness ? What about your right to live safely and serenely ? WHY are you even considering giving it up for someone who's not even your blood, or your legal spouse , and most of all has shown himself incapable of treating you decently ?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 September 2013):
 If you take his threat seriously and actually think he might commit suicide then contact the police and alert them. That's what you do. You don't stay in a relationship with someone who tells you they will kill themselves. You end such a relationship because that is emotional manipulation, and if they're in such a low state they don't want to live then they are not in the right state of mind for a relationship. So such a relationship needs to end. And if you think he is serious about committing suicide then contact the police. Take him seriously, if you think he is serious.
And as for him hurting you and throwing you out of the car. Sweet, dear you, you're and adult now. You need to look out for yourself. Can you tell yourself in pure honesty that this man is in YOUR best interest? Is he good for you? Is staying with him better for you than being single? Be honest with yourself here. This is one of those times were even stranger, such as the police, will be able to tell you what is right and what is wrong. It takes a string will to break free from an abuser, but it starts with you. Do you have what it takes to break free?
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