A
male
age
36-40,
*adakiss87
writes:For about five years iv always had a small crush on the girl who works in my local post office, we would often flirt and smile a lot when we talked, she is about 2 years younger than me at 24. I have never persued it though as I have always been in various relationships and always stay loyal. Now I'm not currently with anyone and my mother told me about a week or so ago she asked how I was! This blew my mind as I dont even know her name or that she knew mine let alone know who my family were! I made a trip to the post office yesterday to try and catch her working just to say hi really and start up some conversation. When I got there I seen someone I have not seen before and when I asked her where the other girl was she told me she left a few days ago! I can pass a message on if you like? So I told the woman what my reason for asking was and she said actually she has spoke about you before, and I think she will like that your asking after her but she has a family, a partner and a boy who the lady thought to be around 3! I told her actually don't worry and left. But since I have left I can't stop thinking about her and all the little things that have been mentioned, like the fact she asked after me, the fact the lady knew who I was because she had spoke about me before....My question to you guys is, if you were me, would you give her a message that you'd like to talk to her to get to know her and potentially harm a maybe happy household. Or would you simply forget about it and move on? Thanks
View related questions:
crush, flirt, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013): You are inviting yourself into a drama when you try to get with women who are already in a relationship. No matter what kind of guy she's with, she has to dump the old one; before getting involved with anyone else. Breakups have stages; and just ending it, doesn't make all the history behind it disappear.In this case there is a guy in the picture. Why is she still with him, and inquiring on other men? If he's such a jerk, and she is so unhappy; leave the situation.What is your plan, to rescue her from the villain?All you know about her present relationship is gossip. You have no solid evidence that she is unhappy. You have no details on why, or if, her man is being a so-called "jerk." Then there is a baby,which keeps the guy in the picture; because she'll have to deal with child custody and support issues. You'll have to deal with a potential jerk.You're just having a crush on a nice girl. This is way too complicated. Before you'd actually get to the girl, you'll have to peal the onion.Good luck!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 October 2013):
 I would still walk away. Even IF her BF is the biggest A-hole on the planet, SHE can walk away from him, not start chatting up a new guy.
My advice (not just about this girl, but ANY girl) if she is taken, she ISN'T available to you. Why? Because either you end up as the rebound guy, the "home-wrecker" (yes, guys can be home wreckers too) and all YOU will get out of it is DRAMA in spades.
YOU are not some shiny knight on a white horse that has one quest in life to rescue her from a A-holish BF.
USE your common sense.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (5 October 2013):
 She was asking if you were single? Well that's a different story. That's a clear sign of interest. and since she's unhappy, she seems like she may be looking to see what could happen with you. But do not cross any boundaries with her until she has left this man. Let her know your interest and then step back and see what transpires. One thing you don't want to be is a rebound. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013): Forget her and move on. Otherwise you are working yourself up over nothing. Also how would you feel if you were married and some guy at your wife's work was trying to "get to know her"? Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jadakiss87 +, writes (5 October 2013):
Jadakiss87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA update - I spoke to a friend who I thought might know her and he said they guy she is with is a complete a hole. He said he has been in the pub with the same people as her and she often talks about how unhappy she is with him.
The questions she asked my mother I should elaborate, were how is he? Is he single, what is he doing for work, how long has he been single, is he still living in his flat and tell him I said hi. In that exact order......
I know I wouldn't want to hear of a guy trying to talk to my girlfriend especially if she was the mother of my child but at the same time I feel like she can do so much better and I feel like she was being more than just polite about things when she spoke to my mother.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (4 October 2013):
Definitely move on, my friend. She's unavailable and has a family. If you had a family, I'm sure you wouldn't like it if another guy was trying to steal it away. It's just not the right thing to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (4 October 2013):
 Have you considered the possibility that she was just being polite to your mother?
Given that this is a crush in its infancy and you now know for a fact she is unavailable, I would say you absolutely need to move on. Investing any more of your feelings in a woman who's not free to reciprocate is a waste of time for you and may put her in an awkward spot.
What you *can* do is assess those qualities that drew you to her in the first place and let that knowledge help you in your search for an available woman who has those same attributes.
Good luck and best wishes :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): It's nice that she thought about you. It was only because she thinks you're a nice guy. Leave her be. You'll get over the crush.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 October 2013):
 forget it and move on....
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 October 2013):
I would walk away, she was a fantasy anyhow. REALITY is she is with someone and has a child with HIM.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): Forget about it and move on.
Two reasons:
Number one. She has a partner and children with this person. Don't mess with people who are involved with someone else, as you would not want it done to you.
Number two. You could quite possibly be reading into something that simply, just isn't there. Just because she's asked about you and mentioned you does not mean that she is interested in you in that way. She is a public employee and it's her job to be polite and personable, and she may genuinely care enough to ask. If you disagree with reason number two, refer back to reason number one.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 October 2013):
 I vote for "forget (her) and move on..."
Good luck...
...............................
|
