A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Ok my my boyfriend (30yrs) and I have been together for a year. He watches porn, which I'm ok with - most of the time! He told me a couple of months ago that he sometimes watches chubby (or BBW) porn. He said it makes it seem more real like they would be the type of women that he would get in real life. He told me he once slept with a big girl and after did not find her physically attractive. He claimed to be confused as to why he looks at this porn when he says it doesn't really turn him on.I am of slim build, my bum is round and I have small boobs. He says he loves my boobs and always tells me I'm sexy, we have great sex. He doesn't look at this porn all the time, but it bothers me when he does for some reason! It came up on the Firefox tabs on the net today that he has looked at some fiery chubby redhead porn, so I did some investigating and he had looked up the name of the porn star in google. Was only concerned because his ex sort of had red hair but she was very slim! He is a personal trainer too and always trying to get people slim with muscles! So I'm confused ... Should I worry about this?? I'm mostly worried because he told me he wasn't into bigger girls at all but he looks at it coz it's more real! He's a good guy and wouldn't do the dirt on me...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): Eroticism is all about taboo and pushing your personal boundaries. Sometimes it's the things that would never turn us on in real life that turn us on in porn, because it's fantasy without restriction. Unless your man is into nasty or abusive stuff, i think it's probably healthy to have this kind of outlet. At the same time i completely appreciate what he says about 'realness'. I'm a straight woman but squirting videos really turn me on because it shows that the woman is actually having a really awesome time. None of this scrawny, perfect body, fake boobed women who moan like they've been hit by a train and we know as women are getting absolutely nothing out of it. Please dont worry. He's with you. You do it for him. Fantasies are where we have the freedom to run mad. As long as you dont come home to find him in bed with s couple of fatties, i think you've doing alright ;)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): Strangely enough that wouldn't bother me as much as slim women.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): It's been my experience that right after sex most guys would like most women to turn into a pizza and a six pack.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (2 October 2013):
 One of the nice aspects of pornography is that one who seeks and participates in it can cast off all of his/her reality, and partake of any and every FANTASY that he/she may have......
In the case of your question, it's entirely plausible that your B/F really does have no attraction for larger women... BUT, that doesn't preclude him from viewing porn shows of that genre..... It's not a cause-and-effect situation.....
You can give him a "pass" on the details of the porn he watches... but you may press to have him partake of less (or, no) porn, if THAT is your real "gripe" about this.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 October 2013):
The explanation I've received from an ex boyfriend is because they get bored. Sure, it's nice watching attractive women in porn, but sometimes that bores them, so they need something else to turn them on. He explained to me that sometimes he liked to watch just plain girls because it was more realistic and he was bored with the overdone porn stars.
Don't take it personally. He is attracted to you, but he probably gets bored looking at the same type of women in porn. And remember, porn is basically fantasy, not reality.
It's kind of like what I've heard when married men cheat on their attractive wives with unattractive women, I will paraphrase, "Having filet mignon everyday is great, but sometimes you just want a cheeseburger." In your boyfriend's case, he's into porn where the women have been eating quite a few cheeseburgers.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (2 October 2013):
 Well, I've been turned on by gay porn and I'm a straight woman, not a gay man... I've gotten off to facial scenes even though I've never much enjoyed it in real life... and I'd never actually want to participate in group sex but I've enjoyed porn based around that premise as well.Sorry to be so blunt about it, but I'm trying to illustrate a point. What people use as visuals to get off to and what they're actually interested in doing or trying in real life are often two very different things. Kind of like the way men will ogle strippers but most wouldn't want to take one home to their parents. It's not like he's looking at girls who look like you EXCEPT they're _______ (hotter, thinner, bustier, you name it) and/or he PREFERS the porn to real live sex with real live you. Those are the only circumstances in which I would personally feel threatened by porn, because then I'd feel like my partner wasn't quite satisfied with ME. Otherwise, it's apples and oranges... in fantasy land, no less. Hope this helps :)
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