A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Are there any reasons why a married man would lie to his mistress about getting caught by his wife? NO judgements please........He was caught over the weekend and told me they were having a major fight and that he would get in touch with me. I don't think he would lie about being caught but I'm not sure. Is there a reason for him to lie?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2013): sorry to say this....been there done that and still half experiencing!
truth be told....
he has been caught yes!
he has gone running begging and pleading with his tail between his legs!
he has told you he will get intouch because your his back up incase his begging and pleading doesnt work!
you can sit around and wait or you can pick yourself up and carry on with your life, if he comes back he comes back, if not your half way there!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013): He wants to break up with you but is afraid that you'll retaliate by outing the affair so he is trying to make it look like that's already been done so you will just leave him alone quietly and not question him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 October 2013):
 The reasons for this man to lie are practically endless....
I wouldn't begin to suggest that they (those reasons) could be listed herein, except with an inordiately-long "response" to you.....
What you need to consider is that lying is second-nature for this man. He lied to his wife when he broke his marriage committment and took up with you.... (and) He may have OTHER mistresses who take up some of his time (away from you).
I suggest that you can only decide if YOU wish to continue taking any part in the life of this man... AND, if you wish to BE a part of one of his lies....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): Even worse - he could be lying so he can pursue yet another relationship with yet another mistress.....
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 October 2013):
 I love the "no Duh" questions we get.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): Of course he would lie. The entire cheating relationship is built on a lie. He cheated on his wife, has obviously been lying to her for as long as he made the choice to break his marriage vows the first time he had an affair, and any other time thereafter. How could you possibly think that he would not lie to his mistress?Perhaps he did get caught. Perhaps, he is bored with you and is on to another fling and is doing what he does best...lie and take the easy way out. The tangled web we weave. Look, if he was an honest man, he would not be cheating on his wife with you in the first place. Please do not be so niave in thinking he is putting you first, respecting you or will ever give you an honest life. You both are living a life of dishonesty.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): If you've been talking about getting together, and now he is backing off because she found out...clearly he had NO intentions of you getting together.If you've been questioning him on it being too much lately, then your gut instinct already told you that it wasn't going to happen.Could it now be that he is feeling you want more than he is willing to give? Could it be that he is in a corner having promised you the earth, and now doesn't know how to get out of it?It is very easy to get caught up in the idea of being in love, until crunch time happens.Not to be assuming here of course, but any sincere man who is REALLY in love with his mistress who was sincere in his promises for the future would be asking you..." moment of truth has arrived, do I tell her about us? and will you do the same at your end"??Hard to tell if he is lying about her finding out or not, but don't look at what he is doing at this moment....look at what he IS NOT.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 October 2013):
As others have said, it could be an easy way out for him. If he were to get "caught" then it could be an easy scapegoat for discontinuing the relationship.
Or, he really did get caught but he can't really talk to you about it at the moment.
I'm guessing you have sensed that he could be lying to you? Maybe he's been acting differently? Just a guess because why else would you be asking?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 October 2013):
Of course he could be lying, but he could be telling the truth as well. Lying would make it easier to explain to you than simply saying he doesn't want to see you any more.
Maybe he fears that if he says that you'll tell his wife, so he figures that he might as well say that she knows so you don't feel the need to tell her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): "Are there any reasons why a married man would lie to his mistress about getting caught by his wife?"
The same reasons why a married man would lie to his wife about having a mistress when she catches him. A lying, cheating scumbag will say and do whatever is necessary to cover his own cowardly ass and try to deflect the blame to others.
As others have stated, a man capable of lying to his wife is capable of lying to his mistress.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 October 2013):
 It could be the truth or he could be trying to find a way to end the relationship with you. No judgment here. However, he's proven he's a liar by even being with you in the first place. He lies to his wife every day. so it's certainly not beyond him to tell lies. Honestly, who knows, to tell you the truth. But it's very possible.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2013):
 I'm with Daisy - I would be NAIVE to think that he is being totally truthful to his mistress when their relationship is build on lying to his wife and himself.
And maybe he did get caught. Cheaters do, you know?
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (2 October 2013):
 If he wanted to end the affair discreetly, that would be as good a way as any to go about it. It's possible he feared that telling you straight out that it's over simply because he wants it to be would end with you feeling used or angry or both and taking it upon yourself to cause drama - by, say, turning up at his house, telling his wife, or something of that nature.
This way he (hypothetically speaking) has both a good excuse not to contact you and a credible reason for you to keep a low profile.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 I'm not a man, nor married, but I'd say this: if he can lie to his wife (throughout the duration of your affair), then of course he could be lying to you.
The reason (assuming he's lying) could be a way for him to get out of a situation that he knows is wrong.
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