A
male
age
30-35,
*ark101
writes:i need tip to get her back or to forget her?When i was in highschool i met this girl and we become friends instantly after some time i fell in love with her. But since i was leaving town after that year i just suppressed my feelings. But even After i left town we were very close. So when i got back to town for break i planned to tell her how i felt. But i find out she was seeing this guy(my friend). But we still kept meeting as normal friends. But one day she told me she has been in love with me the whole time and she dated that guy just to forget me, But she couldn't and wanted us to be together. Even though i loved her so much i told her that we couldnt be together because she was dating a close friend of mine. She told me she will always wait for me. I told her i loved her but it would be like betraying my friend. She told me that she is hurting. After that i kind of drifted away from her(last year), . But i couldnt forget her. I tried beer, string of one night stands, weed nothing could help me. The longest relationship i had with a girl was less than a week. I just keep comparing all the girls to ber but any of them arent even at her waist level. Am getting really depressed, i am in med school and am flunking subjects. I need help how can i get her back or how can i forget her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2013): You said it Sage!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 October 2013):
 Forget this girl and spend a LOT MORE time studying (Re: "... i am in med school and am flunking subjects...")
There is NO GIRL... i don't care WHO she is... how beautiful, how rich, how personable.... who is WORTH you f**king up your studies because of her....
Take the next few years to strive to complete your studies.... and, some day, she may come to her senses and approach you. IF she doesn't.... SO F**king what?????? there are another 3 BILLION or so girls in this world with whom you can partner.....
Good luck.... and... STUDY YOUR ASS OFF!!!!!
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (3 October 2013):
Why don't you reach out to her and see if there is still a chance? I know she was seeing your friend, but it doesn't sound like it was serious so I think you should go for it. If you both had such strong feelings for each other then it's got up be worth a shot surely? At least if nothing comes of it you will know one way or the other and you can start to move on. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): I must add, since you are failing at your subjects; that should be your priority at this time.
The more you bury yourself in your work and studies, the faster you can pull it back together. You aren't ready to deal with her, until you have all your own personal life under control.
You'll only get her back, if she wants to come back. You're failing out of school, and losing focus on your future. What if she decides not to be in it? Then you have to leave the boy behind, and let the man takeover.
If you fall apart, what kind of a man would you be in her life? Show her your strength. Pull it together, even if you have to give up on her. There will be other girls.
Hard study is good exercise for the brain, and will offer endorphins that will give you back your focus.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): You don't want to get back at her. That should be the farthest thing from your mind. You need to accept things as they are; and move on about it. No one has to put themselves on hold for you. That is selfish. That applies only when you are already in some form of committed relationship. Not casually seeing each other.You were not her boyfriend; although it wasn't cool she messed around with your close friend. Technically, she was single; and either of you were free to date whomever you pleased. Even if you were in touch while away; did you tell her you wanted to be her boyfriend when you came back? Did you ask her if she would not see other boys until then? How does she know you weren't seeing other girls? Just because you said so?You have to be a man and forgive her. She is just a young girl; and she can't place her life on hold, while some guy slowly decides if he wants to be her boyfriend someday. She has to live each day as it comes. Don't get in the habit of being vindictive and vengeful toward women. That's bullying and abusive. If you don't like what she does, you breakup; or just move on and have nothing else to do with her. As for your friend, you either forgive or forget him. Being vengeful requires a lot of negative energy; and it could come back at you, a lot worse than what you dished out. Be careful.It's your choice to forget and forgive people. Don't even think about trying to get her back; unless you've fully forgiven her about what happened when you left. Don't drag her into a drama, then make her miserable; because you still have unfinished business about that issue.Do what maturity suggests you do. Follow your gut. Be good to her; and put all the bad things in the past, should you decide to try and get her back. The betrayal of a friend; who deliberately goes after a love-interest, is a serious offense. He knew how you felt about her, and didn't put your friendship first. I'd seriously consider whether or not he is worthy of continued friendship; but he still deserves forgiveness. That's the fair and mature thing to do. Then just move on. Don't make enemies. You don't need any.
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