A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting?I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What do you think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2011): Hi, I don’t consider it as cheating. It is always exciting to chat with other interesting people. At chat sites you can speak with others on various subjects. As long as you keep it only to chatting, and you don’t flirt, it is not cheating at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): She is attempting to replace you or have sex while you work. She is likely to be shit no matter who she is with. There is every chance of there being hell of a lot more you dont know. If you are not turned on by it,or not addicted to bad treatment,you have no choice but to go.
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female
reader, apryll.. +, writes (4 August 2011):
Yes, it's cheating. She isn't faithful. She will think that since your always working, that she will find another guy while your gone. If she was really into you, she wouldn't have said she was single. There are several other chat rooms she can go in, but she choose to go in a singles chat room. I'm sorry, but you deserve better than her.
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (4 August 2011):
Yes, it is cheating because it is a breach of trust. It is like planning to commit a murder and getting busted before you have a chance to commit the murder. You haven't committed a murder, but it is still a crime, you are still breaking the law. Well, she is breaking the relationship law.
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 she's on the hunt for your replacement and i wouldn't be happy myself.
she's taking the piss
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Ouch, she was listed as single? Then it's crossing the line, and I'd be wondering what else she's hiding from you.
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship and her commitment to you, because it seems she's barely attached to you and might be out the door as soon as someone else comes along.
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (3 August 2011):
 sorry love but it sounds like she has had enough and is looking for someone to replace you. so how well do you actually know this woman? maybe she has used you for a meal ticket for her and her daughter and now you have served your purpose.
i cannot imagine anyone using a dating site, bothering to upload a photo and list their likes and dislikes for any other reason than to meet a partner. if she is that bored at home maybe she could try getting out of the house with her little girl instead of sitting on her backside at the computer so much.
come on OP, what would YOU say to a person, ANYONE if they told you they caught their partner on a dating site?? you seem to be in a bit of denial and i can understand that - you have got feelings for her and don't want to believe that she could do something so sneaky while you are out earning the money for you three, but *think* about this, and get real. would you expect her to believe you were innocent if she caught you on a dating site??
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): Why go shopping when everythings at home?She sounds like she has every intention of meeting somebody or why a dating site? Tell her your not happy about it, am sure she wouldn't be if she had caught you on dating sites..She needs to get out and get busy and show some respect or move out
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): I am the OP, thank you all for your replies. I am actually male, the post says I am female but thats not correct. My gf stays at home with her three year old daughter whilst I go out and work for most of the day. I come home and shes usually online. I never thought to ask what she was doing. She has spoken to a few men on there, and she was listed as single and looking for a long term committed relationship. She had her picture up as well as lots of info about her likes and dislikes. Things have been stressful here as I am quite broke at the moment and cannot keep her accustomed to the lifestyle she has gotten used to.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 August 2011):
I'd not call it cheating. I'd call it deceitful if she kept it hidden from you, and I'd call it inappropriate if she was honest about it. Not cheating though. So far it's just window shopping, no actual purchases.
If she wants to pass time she can get a hobby or join any other of the million chat rooms online, NOT a dating site for singles. What was she listed as though? Did she pretend to be single or was she honest about her relationship status?
How well do you know her? Could it be she's a girl who just does this sort of thing with no hidden agenda? Not everyone follows the same rules of relationships, this is something you need to discuss at the beginning of your relationship or as each new thing arises. People follow different rules, so talk to each other on where the line should be drawn in a non confrontational way. It is especially the gray zone, like this particular case shows, that is hard to map out.
Talk about it.
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female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Yes it is. She is on the site looking for another partner. She is trying out things and if she connects with someone, she will meet up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): if you believe her then your a fool.. there are general chat rooms why does she have to be in the singles chat room when she isnt single?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (3 August 2011):
Well, what is cheating? If it is doing something a partner dosen't like or behind their back, then sounds like its cheating. But, isn't there something exciting about cheating? Did she want you to find out? Maybe to see if you notice, react, care?
Its probably what we don't know about our partners that would worry us more, but luckily we don't know! :)
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (3 August 2011):
there are other places to chat than dating sites, sorry but this sounds like an excuse. she may not have cheated YET but she is either preparing to, or she is there, like a troll to waste people time and let them think they will get a date out of it. either way, she doesn't sound like a nice person. i think the time has come for your to seriously reconsider this relationship
x
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 August 2011):
 So basically is the intent to cheat, cheating? Not really. But it's very not good. When I'm bored all day I watch a movie or TV. I don't go bolster my ego on dating sites. She had to consciously go to the site and take a significant amount of time to set up a profile. Maybe she's feeling insecure about the fact that she doesn't have a job, but either way, this is not OK behavior for someone who is in a monogamous relationship.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Could be just curiosity to see how "marketable" her profile is. To me cheating is way more[like in bed] serious.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): I am the OP, I'm actually a male, it says Female for some reason.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): By that alone she is not physically cheating, but she is definitely positioning herself to do that, so I would be concerned. The fact that you 'caught' her means you stumbled upon it by accident and that she did not tell what she was doing.
If your girlfriend is lonely she can always get a job, sign up for volunteer work or take classes. If she doesn't want to leave the house she can find a chat room. There are many out there that have nothing to do with dating and sex.
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Technically she hasn't cheated. Unless there is an intent and attempt to do more than typing- and saying hi (or being friendly). BUT...if she's in a relationship with YOU, then there should be NO reason for her to log on and chat with any guy...on any dating site.
And I'm sure she has friends that she could hang out with or talk to while you're not in her presence. She can also take up a hobby, look for work, go back to school, etc. Her time could be used more constructively.
If you've voiced your concerns and she still doesn't respect that, then you have to decide if it's worth it to stay with someone who doesn't value your opinions or the relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): I personally would class that as cheating, if she was just chatting and had no intent on meeting up then I wouldn't be bothered but if she is planning on meeting someone then I would worry a little about it. While she may be telling you the complete truth and have absolutely no intention of cheating on you, there is still the chance she may do something behind your back if you allow this to continue.
Sorry.
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