A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, i am a 21 year old female.iv been with my boyfriend about 6 months and we have been having sex for a few months now.iv had previuos sexual partners before him.but one thing thats really been bothering my boyfriend is that he can't make me orgasm during penetrative vaginal sex.i tell him its ok because i still enjoy the sex.he does make me orgasm by oral sex.but i was wondering if you guys had any tips on how to achieve an orgasm through vaginal sex?or any particular positions which increase the chance of orgasm?thanksxx.
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oral sex, orgasm, vagina Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (29 July 2011):
Well there is some good advice below but focussing very much on the physical side of the stimulation. I don't have a vagina but know one very well for many years. One very important issue here is also mood and environment. If you have any stress its not going to work. You need to feel very relaxed and comfortable with your partner, try talking through the subject with him and resolve any issues. Then it comes to mood. I find this much more important for a woman, a man needs only milliseconds to be in the mood, a woman usually needs a bit more. Also how often you have sex is a factor. If we have been apart for a week or two my wife can jump on top and come like a steam engine in seconds. Woman on top is her favorite for coming, but only when shes turned on. Otherwise shes best relaxed on her back with quite a bit of gentle foreplay, then oral, and then me on top and her finger on the button usually does the trick! A glass or two of wine helps, as would a holiday with a nice hotel.
I draw exception to the post below criticising the male of the species for expecting too much.
Some men have managed to learn that there is a high correlation between how often the woman gets an orgasm and how often the man gets to try! We like to satisfy our partner and share a bit of anticlimax when she doesnt!!
Try heavy petting until you are just about to come, then jump on him! Also I remember from an old girlfriend how her going on the pill killed her orgasms.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Oops, I forgot to mention another method to apply "angle of penetration" to the primary concentration of female nerve endings - the clitoris. It almost seems a design flaw that the clitoris is located outside and above the vaginal opening, which is the focus of attention by most males.
In a perfect world, the action of the penis thrusting in and out of the vagina would also give pleasurable attention to the clitoris, and sometimes it does, but not always. Apparently most guys just plunge straight in-and-out in order to please themselves, yet applying a sharper "angle of penetration" may better serve a woman's needs.
It is even possible to effectively massage the clitoris with the penile shaft by simply adjusting the angle of penetration. The man shifts his body upward (if in the missionary position) so that he can thrust with his erection firmly toward the clitoris. This action apparently pulls, stretches and tightens the labia, which in turn stimulates the clitoris and may aid orgasm. When altered with the aforementioned "angle of penetration" to stimulate the G-spot, a female orgasm can often be assured.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (29 July 2011):
Both "RedAthena" and "person12345" offer very good suggestions - i.e., lead up to penetration via oral and find the position that works best. That can be an exploratory adventure, which leads me to add that the "angle" of penetration can make a big difference for many women. Perhaps this can be difficult for some men, but the idea is simply to apply the head of the penis toward the woman's G-spot, which is located a few inches inside and on front of the vaginal wall.
Again, the man must concentrate on the "angle of penetration" - but sometimes this can aid orgasm with just a few strokes! Harder to explain, but as a man, I shift my hips downward and try to stroke the "head" of the erection sharply upward to rub across her G-spot. For some couples, this can possibly be better accomplished using a "doggie style," in which case the erection aims more downward from behind.
Well, if only I could include some drawings here, but believe me, the correct "angle of penetration" can prove successful when all other vaginal efforts have failed. This is usually most successful with a romantic build up and earlier oral stimulation leading to the penetration. With proper effort, the correct "angle" can give some women their first orgasm of a lifetime . . .
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (29 July 2011):
 First know that's it's more "normal" to be unable to orgasm from penetration than to not. Only around 25% of women can orgasm through penetration. However, there are some things you can do to increase the odds.
Number one, add in your hands. Don't leave it up to the penetration to get you off, while having sex add in your own hands. A lot of women find it easier to orgasm if they're on top so they can control the depth and speed, but a lot also can only orgasm from missionary, but anything that feels great for you, do.
If fingers won't do it for you, try adding in a small vibrator. Or if that's too awkward, a vibrating ring at the base of the condom.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (29 July 2011):
 It is all about stimulation.
I first reccommend since you can orgasm via oral..start off that way and before you reach your orgasm your bf needs to penetrate you.
Most women climax more easily if they are on top. This puts you in control of the pressure/speed/angle. It also gives him access to touch your clitoris or nipples to increase the stimulation.
If you choose a him on top (missionary or doggie) YOU need to do the stimulation, as its harder for him to balance himself. If he is in missionary, have him move a bit more forward on you so as he penetrates he strokes more pressure along your clitoris.
Have fun practicing!
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A
female
reader, Celest  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 It really bothers me that this is bothering your boyfriend so much. It is very ego of him.. to expect from you to do something that you might not be able... of course we dont know and the guy that he will discover that has to be a maestro!!! I should keep my temper but it really bothers me when guys think like that, and of course you 're still enjoying sex you are not a handicap... Nevertheless, you are not a toy, that has to do this and that, just because he wants to...if you know what I mean...Anyhow, Yoga it might help but do that for your own satisfaction, for your own curiosity and if it is important for you.. not for him... He should care to discover "your" special way!!! It will be very nice if you find a polite way to tell him so!!! All my best dear!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): What the previous answerer said, but I wouldn't give up just yet!
Have any of your previous partners made you orgasm through penetrative sex? That might give you some indication of whether you're capable of a vaginal orgasm or not.
So much depends on the couple's unique chemistry...
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 Some people can't orgasm vaginally.
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A
male
reader, Roshii +, writes (28 July 2011):
 he could stimulate your clitoris during sex, or you could whilst he is.
doggy style can help as well as missionary with your legs over his shoulders. My advice here is simple, have a play around finding something that works for you.
Women work differently than men, if you doubt you'll orgasm you wont, so make sure your completely relaxed and he feels 100% pressure free (not to suggest your pressuring him more he's pressuring himself)
Truth is you guys could be having a lot of fun playing around with different positions.
failing that get him to go down on you but don't let him make you orgasm, instead have him penetrate you instead. so wait until your very very close and have sex. Hopefully this should let you orgasm, which will relieve him of any doubt he can. An you always have something to fall back on.
Hope that helps, good look
Roshii
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