A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Most guys I know say that they don't want to sleep (or even date because that will eventually lead to sleeping) with a virgin, because it's 'too much drama'.I feel like I'm way behind and I won't find anyone to ever be with me just because of that.The only option is for the guy to be a virgin as well, but they are extremely rare when you are this age (and if I look for a younger guy than I might as well look for a 14 year old, because it seems like everyone who's older then that is already experienced.And I don't want a 14 year old!)So anyway, guys:Would you be with a virgin?Or is it really 'too much drama'? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (3 August 2011):
Im 19.. Im also a virgin (By choice). I've had 2 serious girlfriends in the past 3years, both non-virgins, and both asked for sex on a regular basis after a few months.
To be honest, sex is WAY more drama than being with a virgin. It sucks that so many nice girls give away their v-card just for the hell of it when they are young, because its nearly impossible for me to find a girl around my age who isn't hiddeous, but still a virgin. I really want my 1st time to mean something and be with someone special going through the same thing.
Anyone that says that it would be drama are just looking for fuckbuddies
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 (to the one who wrote the question)
Sure times have moved on, but guys will still look down on women who are free and easy with their sexuality. The purity and sacredness of virginity may not be thought of bymany young people in western society today, but women who choose their sexual partners wisely have a lot more respect than women who have had many partners.
Just this weekend I heard a guy talk about a woman who was "far too easy" after proclaiming "eurgh" at the mention of her name. The funny thing is, this guy had slept with her without too much persuasion, so what does that make him?
Their are a LOT of double standards and greatly varied opinions out there. Just because the guys you have met think a virgin is "too much drama" does NOT mean they ALL think that. Like someone else said, those guys who think that are only thinking of girls to have sex with, not to have a long term relationship with. Many guys would feel very good and honoured if their long term girlfriend saved herself for him, intentional or not.
You are who you are. So you havn't had sex yet. I didn't until I was 18, and I was a little promiscuous after that finally happened. But I'm not proud of it. I'd rather have not had those few flings and saved myself for a real relationship.
But at the end of the day, you are who you are. Don't think no one will ever want to be with you. But if you want something in your life to happen, you have to seek it and takes steps to MAKE it happen. Ok, so the guys you've met so far either aren't interested, aren't available or aren't your type. So go out there and meet more people! Dating is a mixture of luck and effort. If you havn't been lucky so far, make more of an effort. You are still young. People find new love in old age. So there is still hope for you. Now stop worrying and get out there and have fun. Be young and live your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): Male virgins are not extremely rare at your age.
Confident flirty male virgins who get lots of girls and openly admit to being virgins are rare.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): (I'm the one who wrote the question.)
Thanks for the answers.
BettyBoup-
I know, but you even wrote so yourself: "Virgins USED to be considered pure and sacred..." yes it did but that was a long time ago.Generations ago.
Things are different now, might just be the opposite.
And I have met SO many guys (my guy friends too, who I didn't tell I was a virgin) that said it was too much drama.
And well, hearing so many people say that, and the media that's not helping at all, it actually made me think that it is like that.
But I wish I could believe otherwise.That's why I want to hear other people's opinions so I asked this question.
Thank you for your opinion.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 I would like to be with a virgin. I held out pathetically til I was 25 so dont feel bad... for a guy, its worse lol. If the guy is mature, he will know how to handle the sexual aspect of any relationship regardless of experience he has. You must know some dumbass guys no offense. If you feel now is the time to lose it, do it by any means necessary. With just a friend or a guy you randomly meet. My advice: Make it a mission and if you dont attach emotion to the act, there will be less risk of drama. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 August 2011):
 The only guys who would find it to be "too much drama" are the ones who are just looking to get laid. If a guy really cared about you, this wouldn't be a bad thing at all. I'd think given all the questions on here about the pain of a woman's sexual history being a virgin would be considered a good thing.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (1 August 2011):
 Yes! A virgin lady is a fantastic turn on. It is not drama at all. Each to his own but from experience it is a very special moment.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (1 August 2011):
Quite the opposite for a lot of men. A lot of men would rather be with a virgin than someone who has had many partners. Virgins used to be considered pure and sacred, and it was considered sinful or shameful to have sex before marriage. It still is in many cultures.
There are also men who feel insecure if they find their girlfriend has a fruity sexual history, and therefor, a virgin is sweet, innocent and very disirable.
Ignore all the stereotypes and views and opinions about virgins. If a guy is a good guy for you, he will want to be with you regardless of your sexual history. If he thinks its too much drama, it's his loss. But I've more often heard guys boast about taking a girls virginity than say its too much drama. But then you don't want to get with a guy who would sleep with you just for the thrill of being your first. Get to know a guy first before you sleep with him, so you will know if his intentions are decent.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (1 August 2011):
 When i read this, I imagined someone shouting "I DON'T WANT TO BE A 14 YEAR OLD!" :D...sorry, i'm immature.
Discussions about virginity are typically raised later in a relationship, at a point where if a guy is good for you, he won't care. There's no "drama" surrounding the issue. If anything, the guy would, or at least should, be honored to be the first to be trusted with such.
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