A
female
age
36-40,
*missyourkisses
writes:I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years. We went on one vacation over a year ago and always talk about where we can go next. But he always says he would love to travel with me but he can't go but doesn't have money and time off work. He was planning a road trip for our one year anniversary, but a family emergency came up and I wasn't able to make it. 9 months later, he still says he was unable to find the money and time to reschedule it. He is finally getting a paid time off from work in a couple of weeks and has already booked his tickets to go to vegas with his friends. Now, I don't have a problem with him going with his friends what bugs me is that you would think his priority would be going somewhere with me. The week he has off is the same week I have my break from school. Who knows when we will both get such a long period of time off at the same time. He asked me when my last day was, and when I told him all he said was "blah, thats when I'm leaving, I was gonna see if you wanted to go to vegas". I'm not stupid, if he really wanted me to go he could have waited one day or I could have joined him later, or he could even have planned something else all together just with me. Anyways, so I planned my own vacation, but I haven't told him about it (I'm going with my family). And I'm thinking of not even telling him and leaving my phone at home so he can't get a hold of me.Is it wrong for me to feel hurt by his decision? And how should I handle it when he's gone? Should I just leave me phone at home and let him see what it's like without me?
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female
reader, imissyourkisses +, writes (3 August 2011):
imissyourkisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's been about a week, so I'd say too soon to say. But so far he seems enthusiastic about us being together. I shall keep you guys updated :)
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 it seems to me like this guy's got a ready answer for everything. you have taken him back and given him a chance to prove he's grown up and changed? - how's he doing so far?
x
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A
female
reader, imissyourkisses +, writes (2 August 2011):
imissyourkisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBasically I was feeling neglected. He was so loving and sweet at the beginning of the relationship but that eventually faded away. He was still sweet but never really went out of his way surprise me or take me out, silly tings like that that make a girl happy which he used to do before. And no, I'm not some high maintenance chick, for me the thought is all that counts and it doesn't even have to cost a penny. I admit, I'm not completely innocent either, I would go off on him for a lot of things including things he had done in the past (nothing like cheating, mostly things he did before we were "official".) He says that changed the way he acted. I take responsibility for this. Also, We are both in our mid 20s and should be heading towards marriage etc. And we have discussed that we love each other enough for that but he didn't really have a plan for his future and if he is not stable I am not going to marry him. And no he hasn't asked but I have to think about my future, you know? The decisions he was making about his job, school, and finances reflected that he was not thinking about us just him, so I broke up with him. Two months later he says he has thought about his life and what I said and that I was right, he needed to grow up and start making better decisions and he said he is going to do that from now on.So I am giving him a chance to prove himself again to see if he has really changed. I'm so impatient about these things though! lol
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 What a jerk response. Because it was cheap? That's not a reason. How does this sound, "Honey I planned a delicious home cooked meal for tonight." "Oh but I passed a McDonalds and cheeseburgers were $1! Sorry!"
What were you trying to start clean from if you don't mind sharing? I wouldn't say this alone is grounds for breaking up, but if this is just on top of a whole laundry list...
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A
female
reader, imissyourkisses +, writes (2 August 2011):
imissyourkisses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replies so far :)I already mentioned to him that it upset me. He said it was cuz the tickets were really cheap and he really wanted to get out of his house to relax during his week off.I'm tryin not to let out any anger lol I wanna see how things go from here I guess to see if he really has changed (we just started over a clean slate- he wasn't a bad bf he just needed to grow up.)It's so hard not to explode with anger and turn into a bitch! lol
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 August 2011):
No not wrong at all. It seems fairly insensitive for him to prefer going off with the guys when you two haven't had a proper holiday in so long.
I wouldn't leave your phone at home though, he may worry that something's happened to you or interpret your unwillingness to respond as you breaking up with him.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (2 August 2011):
its fine to feel hurt by this, he has more or less promised you a holiday together and then just gone back on his word when something 'better' came up. its fine to let him know you are pissed off about this and it is good that you have a holiday planned without him, but i don't think you should not tell him and leave your phone at home. if he tries to get in touch with you and there is constantly no answer on your mobile/cell? or at home he may get really worried that something terrible has happened to you or he may get annoyed at you for not answering his calls (not a good idea to worry or make your BF annoyed when he's away on a lads holiday!)
x
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female
reader, love sux  +, writes (2 August 2011):
i don't know the answer to your problem but i know how it feels ,, cz i have the same problem..i hate it when friends get preference over love while it's the other way around from my side .. really looking forward to whoever answers this .... pls give some advice based on experience ..
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