A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a weird assumption in mind and I'd like to have people talk about it. It is about variation of choice in partners.Lets say there are two groups of people:1)Ones that are relatively normal, are tolerant against ugly characteristics such someone being fat or having acne but tend to not like people with extreme or different taste in style.2)The others are people with extreme and unique tastes in style, tend to like others that have more or less the same preferences but usually dislike people that have ugly characteristics like the ones mentioned above.The question goes down to this. Given that you agree that the majority of youngsters nowadays are mostly like these 2 groups, what would happen to a person that has both extreme and unique taste in style and some ugly characteristics such as acne and being fat?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): He or She would grow out of both and when they grow up...they would realise that fat and spotty is not ugly...true ugliness
comes from within ...it's the one's that want to destroy the earth. My god! have i fallen for some goergous guys when i was young...some had spots some were fat..and when we spoke it was like wow!!CHARACTER and SPIRIT ! however i will be honest if i found someone was real ugly (ONLY IN MY EYES) i would not have really wanted to be sexual with them ( just honesty here!)but that is an ugly trait in me i guess. To be honest i don't know what you are waffeling on about and neither do you really.
Just enjoy been a teen and make the most of you and everything else.
spunky monkey
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (21 March 2012):
 My experience is that generally when people feel like they don't fit in, they make sure their personalities match, as in no smiling, and just don't seem friendly. I know when other people seem hostile it's hard not to retreat and be defensively hostile in return, but you can't expect people to automatically treat you in a friendly way, you have to be giving off friendly "vibes" first. Smile, keep your shoulders back, talk to people. If you're at work or school, just strike up a conversation about something you know you have common ground on (like about work or about school).
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate your feedback so far. One of the things I'd like to clarify is that it is not me that views people as those 2 categories. It is what I have perceived so far in terms of judgement. The other thing is that I also agree that personality is important, but what happens when the majority does not even attempt to interact with you? How do they know anything of your personality in that case? That's why I believe people are mostly intrigued by appearances, therefore sticking to what is that they want to see rather than putting a bit of extra thought on a person.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 March 2012):
Fat isn't ugly and neither is acne. I assume you are asking about yourself? If you spend your whole life worrying what other people think of the way you look, you will be miserable since there is no way to please everyone at once. If you are self-conscious about your weight, do something about it. If you are self-conscious about acne, go see a dermatologist. Most of all, if you are feeling insecure, do something about it. Stand up taller, smile more, and even if you don't feel it, act secure in yourself and the feeling will follow.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 March 2012):
 You certainly do have weird assumptions.
Acne is not an ugly characteristic and can be controlled with proper care by a medical professional
And a person who is overweight is not ugly or slovenly or lazy. That’s very judgmental of you.
There is an old saying that says “WATER SEEKS IT’S OWN LEVEL” What it means is that like minded people end up hanging out together…
Ugly characteristics such as being judgmental or prejudice or being rude are the things that define humans. Personality traits are more important.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): Fat people are not ugly, people with acne are not ugly. And there are more than 2 groups of people.
The people who are happy, not obsessed with appearance and see past the outer shell are the ones who are adjusted - the others are just shallow and not worth knowing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): Well the acne can be helped by a dermatologist and healthier lifestyle. Being fat can be easily remedied with better diet and exercise.
Sorry to tell you but there is no such thing as a unique taste in style. Over 30 years I've been on this planet and lived in many different countries, no one has a style that doesn't exist with anyone else, we're all products of our environments and there are multiple copies of every piece of clothing you own. Besides what makes you think style is that important?
I was a grunge rocker as a teenager. I had long hair and I wore clothes that were dirty and unwashed, never shaved and generally didn't give a crap about my appearance. I got more attention from girls outside of my style range, outside of my musical preference and rocker clique than I did from those within that social grouping.
OP by far the ugliest characteristic a person can have is self-doubt, it supersedes all other characteristics. Physical attributes are a matter of taste. I've had girlfriends that were plagued with acne, my current girlfriend is a bit overweight. It doesn't detract from a persons beauty to have characteristics that society tells us are "ugly".
You need to stop living in a deluded fantasy world of self doubt and when you do you'll see that women have as many varied tastes as we do. Women and their preferences are too complex to narrow down the way you have and all it does is breed self contempt, so it's pointless.
Are you fat and don't like it? Then work out, that's what I did. Have you really bad acne? Then go to a dermatologist, if it's not something that is going to clear up soon then just ignore it, it's not that big a deal. Far worse would be the mental doubt that gives you.
As I said I've dated girls with severe acne and have dated overweight women, those physical attributes didn't mean anything because those women were strong and confident regardless, the worst thing as regards those attributes is if the girl hates them and won't shut up about them, complains and lets them get her down, who wants to be with a person like that?
Try not to label all youngsters into 2 groups either OP, you're a youngster, do you think you're somehow the only person in this world that doesn't fit into those two nice little categories you have created? If you do you, you need to spend more time in the real world and not confined to your preference of sites on the internet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): Having acne or being fat isn't ugly! Get these stereotypical notions out of your head.
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