A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidMy bf of 2 years constantly avoids me, often humiliates me and when i ask he says he was joking, joking or not joking, his words affect me. I told him not to do that, he never listens. I dont want his words to affect me so much, but it does. He blames me for taking everything to heart and that im sensitive. Is it wrong to be sensitive.Nowadays im even scared to call him, every time i call he says things which hurts me and my entire day is spoilt. I know i can stop calling him, but i couldnt do it. he is like a drug, that i cant live without. BTW he never calls, im one which is always calling him, begging him. I hate myself for doing this to me. Please help me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ArtfulToker  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 We only get treated how we allow ourselves to be treated. Forget the loser and find a real man who can help you live a happier life
A
female
reader, Chapche  +, writes (22 March 2012):
I had such kind of addiction, so I can understand you. He can see that you're totally in him and he's just playing with you. He wants you to leave him but he is not a gentleman and he can't end up the relations in a civilized way. Help him, try to imagine that you wreck vengence on him - stop crying for him, calling, texting. Just stop. Let him guess. Try to turn your passion into something funny. Try to concentrate on shopping, buying beautiful clothes, on your looks, change the hair and so on. Nothing can ever help to shrug off the past relations as new style. ))
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 March 2012):
 This is key (your words): "...I hate myself for doing this to me. Please help me."
STOP doing what you're doing.... get away from this RAT.... and, miraculously, you will find that you will LIKE yourself!!!! How much easier could this all be?????
...............................
A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Switch you phone to incoming calls and texts only. That wil stop the tempation to call him. He's getting off on the power trip right now. Remove that. Show him that you are strong. One fine day he wil regret this and wish he never treated you this badly. he will realise what he has lost when you finally move on. x
...............................
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (22 March 2012):
 What I want to know is, what is it about this man that keeps you coming back for more abuse? He isn't the last man on earth, and really, he doesn't even sound like much of a man. You can do better, and you deserve better. People will only treat you how you allow them to, and most women would have kicked him to the curb, by now. Maybe you should seek some counseling to find out why you have such an addiction to this type of abuse.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Constantly avoids me
Often humiliates me
I’m scared to call him
HE never calls me
I HATE MYSELF
READ the above words….
You will do what you want to do till you no longer want to do it…. Why are you so afraid of being alone?
Is being alone worse than being miserable?
Is being alone worse than being abused? He’s emotionally abusing you (of course YOU allow it, no you ENCOURAGE it)
What do you fear will happen if you don’t call him? If you are lucky he will fall off the face of your earth…
you stay with him because whatever you have with him seems better than finding someone better... why are you afraid of that? do you think you are not worthy of better treatment?
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Unfortunately there's no such thing as magic advice. As Aunty BimBim said, ultimately it's up to you to end this. The best things you can do are to call over a friend you know will be tough on you to delete him from your facebook and block him from your phone and email (you could do it yourself too). You need to remove the temptation to contact him. That's step one.
Then step 2 is to remove as much of your free time as possible. The more free time you have the more you will want to contact him. Take up new hobbies, learn a new skill. Take up a pottery or art class or dance class. Take pilates. Go ride your bike. Go hang out with your friends as much as possible, catch up with your relatives. Not only is it important to not be sitting around where you'll be tempted to contact him, but it's also important to show yourself you can have a life without him.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 When it comes down to tin tacks, the only person who can help you is you!
Are you sure this man sees himself as your boyfriend? You tell us he avoids you and never calls you, so you call him and he humiliates you. He doesn't sound like a boyfriend to me!
Quite frankly we could tell you not to call him until we are blue in the face, but as long as you are prepared to chase after somebody who tries to avoid you, you need to accept the consequences of your actions.
The solution is simple, if you want to be hurt, continue calling him, if you want the hurting to stop, then dont contact him.
...............................
|
