A
female
age
41-50,
*oltsgirl
writes:Guys, if you found out that the girl you liked was still a virgin would this make you more interested in her, or would it be a deal breaker? If she's an older virgin at that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): I'm one of the anonymous male posters who said this would be a deal breaker for me, and I've come back to respond to some of the insults thrown in my direction. I'm neither an asshole nor a jerk that should be avoided. I'm also not a prude or very religious. I enjoy sex, very much, and don't pretend to hide it. I know how important a healthy sex life is to a solid relationship.
Now, the issue here is that if a woman has waited so long to even have sex once(!), then I just know I'm not going to be compatible with her in that area. If I got a month or two without having sex that seems like forever to me. The thought of going my entire adult life up to age 30 and beyond without sex? I can't fathom it!
I'd be wasting both her time and mine pursuing a relationship, when I'm going to feel sexually frustrated and she's probably going to feel "pressured" into it. That's not good for either of us. When I'm dating a woman I don't want a possible future roommate, I want a partner & a lover.
I'd react the exact same way if I were dating a woman who would only have sex with the lights off. Or a woman that would never let me see her naked. If we don't have the same views on sexuality, then what's the point???
Just my two cents. There's no reason to vilify someone for being honest and admitting that virginity isn't always a positive. Now if I said I'd stick around to hit it once and "claim the prize" that would be horrible. But that's not what I'm saying. How many of the guys who are turned on by this concept are just after that?
A
female
reader, EmilyTheStrange  +, writes (14 February 2012):
usually guys LOVE the virgins ? they like to know that theyre special enough to have "the gift" women care so much about. and especially if shes older, it obviously means a lot to her ?
if someone broke it off just caus the woman's a virgin, he's an absolute asshole.
Good Luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): I'm a woman but I think the only men who do think this is a deal breaker are the ones you want to avoid anyway. If a man really likes/loves you, it'd mean the world to him that you've saved yourself.
Only a jerk would like a woman more because she's sexually experienced.
You should be proud of who/what you are and being a virgin should never be something to be a shamed of.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2012): Virginity would be a huge thing in your favor in my book.
I don't have a virgin fetish. But the vast majority of women in our age bracket have been around the block too much for my taste. I think sex belongs in serious relationships only. If you have to come to that conclusion after trying out casual sex then you're not my type either. I have always felt so strongly that I never considered any other way of living.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (13 February 2012):
 deal breaker, no! it would be a plus. no history to worry about . but love is the key , virgin or not a virgin.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2012): Very sexual man here, 34 years of age with a lot of experience. If at that age she wouldn't wanna put up with it and actually enjoy it, then it's a definite deal breaker for me. I am not even gonna think twice about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2012): Why would it possibly be a deal breaker? To me it would indicate a woman who has exercised good judgement and discretion in her personal life and stayed true to her morals and values without bowing to peer pressure, a woman of substance and quality whom I would be very interested in getting to know better, and not in the biblical sense.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2012): I have to be honest and say that for me this is probably a deal breaker. The reason is that I have a high sex drive and I find sex to be incredibly enjoyable. When I was young, like late teens or year 20's, being a virgin would have made a woman much more desirable to me. But now that I have a lot of experience, I would much rather be with a woman that also knows what she likes and what she doesn't. More importantly, I want a woman who shares my view that should be enjoyed often. My fear would be that a woman who has waited to the age of 30+ without even having sex once will probably not view sex the same way I do.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (13 February 2012):
 Why does it matter? She may have had her reasons for not wanting to lose it...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 February 2012):
Not a deal breaker for me either. There's a lot more to a woman than her virginity.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 February 2012):
 What? I didn't know there were any virgins left in this world. Be proud, hold your head up high and forget "deal breaker" terms. You are a treasure. The guy that finds you will be the happiest and luckiest on the earth. Forget those thoughts of negativity.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 February 2012):
 Not a deal breaker for me. I'd want to know a few details, but that's also true for any woman with any history if I'm dating her seriously.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (13 February 2012):
 Different men will have different views, but for me it doesn't matter a jot either way - it's the person, not the label.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 February 2012):
 DEAL BREAKER????? Heck, no... it would give me all the more incentive to be her first "conquest"...
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