A
male
age
30-35,
*apamanlols
writes:20 year old virgin, should i hire an escort to lose my vcardi am socially awkard and i have never spoke to a girl casually, and hardly speak to guys wither, except when im buying something or business like that.I do have an athletic body and i know some girls look at me but i can never get myself to talk to anyso then.. If i shouldnt lose my vcard to an escort, then how about a sensual massage?i have managed to get myself to see a physio to massage my lower back sports injuries, and i feel like having a sensual massage mite be easier than talking to girls
View related questions:
escort, talking to girls Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): I did go to an escort to lose the vcard ... It wasn't great , I wasn't bad either ... I regret nothing ...
A
female
reader, Okies  +, writes (6 March 2012):
There is only one guy who answered your query and he told you to talk to a girl.. and get over the fear of rejection.. which means .. do not sleep with that escort..
having sex with an escort is not gonna fill your emptiness... having a nice relationship with a girl is...
It may sound like we're telling you to do something really tough.. but we've been through that age.. we know how it will end up.. so don't do it.. and yes I'm a girl and the thought of a guy sleeping with an escort turns me off... if he is a virgin I'm not at all turned off.. I'm infact happy... but that is just me..
At the end of the day its your choice... and if you do think of doing it, well.. practice safe sex.. but I would really tell you not to..
Right now you are regretting you are a virgin after than you will be regretting having slept with an escort.. the best option is find a nice girl to form a real relationship with...
Get a haircut.. clean up.. look neat .. and a girl will like you soon enough
There are girls who like shy guys.. you just have to talk to them... I personally like shy guys.. If I meet a shy guy I will totally be all over him... LOL I don't know what else I should say to make you not do it... lol
But yeah its your choice... just don't give up so quickly..
What if you meet your dream girl next semester.. you will regret it..
Anyways best of luck with watever you decide.
...............................
A
male
reader, papamanlols +, writes (6 March 2012):
papamanlols is verified as being by the original poster of the question oh and i also don't talk much, nor im i that good with english verbally, i dont want to risk being too boring for a girl, almost everyone in the world think im boring bcus i dont talk much, and i dont have any enthusiasm, maybe if i was used to her for a long time.
...............................
A
male
reader, papamanlols +, writes (6 March 2012):
papamanlols is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni appreciate the responses but its clear that, on threads like this, its always guys who say we should just use an escort, and girls the other way. Maybe because there are a lot of outgoing guys that would ask the girl out first, basically its always a guy that starts the conversation, so its easier for shy girls, but us shy guys have it hard bcus girls most likely never talk to a guy first. and it seems the vcard means a lot more to a girl
its also possible that alternative of going to an escort and not worrying abt being a virgin cud make me seem less desperate and then its possible that the thought of rejection wont be as bad, so it mite actually make me more compfortable because ill be more calm
im friendless and gf'less my whole life and its depressing, my family is the only people i talk to, it feels so hopeless studying hard for engineering, without any friends to accompany me, and there are mostly one or no girls in my engineering classes, having some sexual encounter with a women could fill up the emptiness in me.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Dude, yes you can. I felt the same as you for years. I was the last person from my group of mates to lose my v age 19. Do you like to go clubbing? as that's an eay place to chat to girls, of course it's not the ideal place to form relationships, but if you're looking for hook ups then maybe that's the place for you.
I literally felt I was never going to lose my v, but it happened in an unlikely way, I didn't regret it and since I've felt it's been easier to talk to girls now, you've just got to be flirty, a little cheeky and make them laugh and you'll be fine.
Just take yourself out of your comfort zone, if you like a girl, just try and strike up conversation and find some common grounds that you can talk about, if it's going well, ask to hang out and obviously if she accepts, she's interested. Just give it a try, when you get over the fear of rejection you'll be fine.
Good luck mate
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Tempting as it may be, dont do it! If you feel awkward around girls now, you will feel even worse if you start paying for sex.
When girls look at you, smile at them. Say Hi or something. It will be ok.
Someone close to me didnt lose his virginity until he was 27. That was a few years ago now, he is still with his partner and just became a father of twin girls...happy cant describe him! So dont worry if it takes a little time. It will happen eventually.
My partner was very, very shy, quiet and socially awkward when i met him. But he explained that to me. So i did all the talking and he was happy to let me! That was several years ago. He has changed a lot in the time we have been together and has a lot of confidence now. You can only get there by making an effort and trying with girls. Paying for sex wont give you confidence or social graces. If you have the money for that, why not spend it on a class instead. Search in your area for a course on assertiveness training or anything to do with confidence building. It will be money well spent. Just hang in there and work on your confidence, everything else will fall into place once you overcome your shyness.
...............................
A
female
reader, MeShell  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 I know you are thinking that being a virgin at 20 is bad, but it's not really that bad. It just shows that you have more boundaries then most of the people in our generation. Your insecurity with the opposite sex is normal. It's to be expected. You have to take a leap of faith. Girls are the same way, we are afraid of guys, but sometimes you just have to get out of that protective bubble. I'm 19 and almost 20 and still a virgin, and I don't have a boyfriend at the moment and guys sometimes scare me. They just push off this vibe that says 'stay away' at times, but I sometimes go past that vibe they put off and get to know them and find out that they weren't as intimidating as I thought. A leap of faith is all you need. By the way if you ever need someone to talk to you can message me on here. I always enjoy making new friends. :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Okies +, writes (5 March 2012):
just ask a girl out.. there are girls who will actually jump your bones if they get a chance.. seriously
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 March 2012):
 Yep what Cindy said… you hire an escort to lose your V-card and then you are not a socially awkward virgin you are a socially awkward NON-virgin with all the same problems. IT won’t solve anything….
IF you want a “sensual massage” I am assuming you mean a “happy ending” which is a hand job… personally I think that’s about as gross a think as I can’ imagine… but then that’s just me…
Do what Cindy said… put yourself on the line…get out there make friends… 20 is still very very young and you will mature and grow and it will be easier… My son is 25 and he was almost all the way through college before he got a girlfriend and lost his virginity… Now he’s dating a nice young lady and it appears to be getting serious… nothing wrong with being a late bloomer…
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 Personally I could never get the point of "sensual massages ". Why spending plenty of cash for something that you can do by yourself- and better :). I mean, if you want to have intecourse, you absolutely need a female organ to perform with ( I suppose that inflatable dolls don't quite cut it ) and that explains ( not justifies, though, IMO ) the decision to hire one in lack of better alternatives. Buy if you want a massage with a happy ending ( in fact , let's be frank, you want the happy ending, you could not care less about the massage ) , why not simply recurring to someone who is the ultimate expert about what your body likes : you :).
Never mind. Just idle thoughts.
There's a big problem with hiring an escort for losing your virginity, and let's leave totally aside any moral or psychological aspect of the transation.
The problem is ,that it's a temporary ( and expensive ) fix. Once you have hired the escort and done the deed, you'll be back at square one. Still socially challenged. Still shy and insecure. Still dateless. And you risk to get stuck into your insecurities forever, because you'll be less motivated to overcome them, now that you have found an easy, quick fix to your physical frustrations ( but not to the emotional ones ). You risk remaining a girlfriendless client of escorts for years and years to come, if not for all your life.
If that seems a rosy perspective to you...
The sensible idea would be to muster some guts, and patience, and work on your socialization problems instead. Kick yourself in the butt, go out there, mingle, try to make friends with people, and let things develop from there. Stretch your comfort zone, try new venues where to meet women, enroll in some sport or art class, take up a new hobby with like minded people. That will give you at least the chance to exchange words with women, and it will show you that women don't bite if approached with respect and courtesy. It will also expose you to possibe rejection. Good. Rejection is a fact of life, you can't ever call yourself a grown up until you learn to handle rejection without falling to pieces.
In other words, - grow up !. At your own pace , if you wish, little by little, but DO something about your socialization problems. If they are severe , you may need professional help from a counselor or a therapist, but at least the money you spend on that might change your whole life, while the money you'd spend on hookers would just fix your problems for about five minutes.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): I think what you might need more than anything is some help dealing with your inability to talk to girls.
Read some self help books, look at pages and forums online if it helps. If it comes to the worst, ask to speak to someone about this problem (not being able to talk to nearly everyone doesn't sound normal).
Sooner or later though you will just have to put yourself out there and risk it. That's what everyone else does.
Going to an escort will solve nothing long term. You could end up one of those seedy, creepy little men who never date, they just visit prostitutes. Also to be a virgin at 20 is still normal. You're not that old to be worrying about it so much yet.
If it's an erotic massage, then really it's not much different than going to a prostitute. If it's a normal massage to help with injuries, I don't see a problem with it. Of course neither are going to help your social situation.
...............................
|
