A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Firstly, please take this question seriously, because it is really bothering me. I just don't want people to think I'm some whiney child or something.Basically, I have really strong feelings for this nineteen year old actor. He is fairly famous and american. The issue is I have never met him. I have seen him in tv interviews and he seems like such a perfect guy- I mean I can't know that because I've never met him in person, but he just seems amazing. I can't stop thinking about him, and the thought of me not spending the rest of my life with him makes me want to cry. When I think about him my stomach flips over and I get butterflies. I don't want you to think I'm some kind of obsessive person being stupid- what I feel probably is stupid but it's really depressing me and I need advice.Please help me, what can or should I do?ThanksX
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): You are rather young, and what you're going through is fairly normal for your age. Just keep it realistic.What you're going through is a discovery (of sorts) of characteristics you are looking for in a guy.You're forming what Carl Jung called an "Animus" in your mind. What you should do (and you might be doing already) is seek out people who have these traits that you perceive this actor having. Engage in social activities (whether sports, music, dance, etc) that interest YOU...and get to know people through those activities. More likely than not you'll be drawn to people that have these traits. You may always crush on this actor but It will be put in the proper perspective as time passes.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 I think it's normal at any age. However "how" we crush on people may change with age.
The reason you "LUV" this guy is because in your imagination he is perfect. He looks perfect, he ACTS perfect. You imagination fill in all the blanks for anything else.
No one is perfect. Not even this guy. But we all hope to find that perfect match and for now (in your mind) he is it.
Of course he seems prefect in interview, how do you think he "sells" his talent to the next director or his fans? By acting his ass off in whatever movie/tv role and by seemingly being accessible, funny, smart, friendly, sexy to fans. After all, the more fans you have the better chance there is that a director picks "your" guy in order to reach that audience in case the movie is so so it can still bring in money.
Actors sells fantasies, not themselves.
YOU need to realize that the person you think he is and the guy he really is are most likely two very different people. And when you put someone on a pedestal you only give them one way to go, down. And you forget those real people around you, because you don't think they measure up.
Honey, enjoy his WORK and his looks but accept that he is a REAL person too, one whom you may never meet and one who most likely could never measure up to your fantasy.
Some people just makes us positively giddy to look at. Enjoy that.
Go out there and meet some real people.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (26 March 2012):
It's not necessarily stupid, but a little immature for your age. I remember going through these crazy obsessions with male celebrities up until about 15 or 16. Then one day I realized that it's never going to happen and I should focus on real people that are actually obtainable.
But believe me, even at 28 I'll still swoon everytime I see David Beckham or Brad Pitt, but it's nothing like the young obsessions I used to have.
I think in time you'll just get over it. It's okay to have a crush on celebrities, but if it's an obsession to where it's affecting your life then you might have a problem. But I really think you'll outgrow it in time.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (26 March 2012):
 I can relate to you because this has happened to me before on two occasions and it feels weird as hell. Makes me feel pretty creepy looking back on it hahahaha
The first time was after watching the olympic games and it was over the gymnast Shawn Johnson, I spent so much time reading up on her on the internet and stuff. Literally couldn't stop thinking about her, despite living in a different country to her, she was all I could think about.
Second time was Elisha Cuthbert after watching 'Girl next door' and it was the same deal.
Basically just give it time and you'll outgrow it, I can't explain why it happened for me, but it feels really really weird, I can vouche for that. Just keep busy to take your mind away and pursue an actual love interest which will occupy your mind!
Good luck
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (25 March 2012):
 I am not sure what you want us to say. You need to move on. The chances of you getting in a relationship with him are pretty slim. And you are just the same has all the other girls that undoubtedly fancy him. So. Either you can let this take you over and become obsessive, or you can do your best to move on and get over him. I promise it wont be long before you look back and laugh at yourself. Perhaps improving your social life will help. Spending more time with friends, making new friends etc etc instead of watching this actor on the TV will take your mind off him. You never know, crushing on this actor so much may well be stopping you noticing the men in your life that know you personally and are interested.Oh, and what you see on TV.... that is him on his best behaviour. There is no such thing as a perfect man, and in my opinion the famous people (especially those famous at a young age) tend NOT to be all that great in real life. And, of course, are more likely to turn to drink and drugs due to the pressure.You will be doing yourself a favour if you focus on other things. And don't worry, it is just a phase. You will get over it!
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (25 March 2012):
you really have no chance with him . Its a crush , super fan type deal . You will have to find a 'real' person ....its Ok to have a celebrity crush , almost everyone does .
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