A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im asking for help on a very tricky long question so im sorry in advance for this.History of it started 7years ago me and my partner got together we had known eachother on off for 5years before and things moved quick. I was pregnant after 4months. Then again a year later,but we were very happy for the first 3years. We had our problems some major but always managed to get through things then the bomb came,he met someone and moved out after 5yrs together I had a major break down. We never had alot of time to have fun as a couple before we were parents so I guessed Iwas that. They only lasted for 3months and after a major string of girls he slept with we began to realy get close again opening up to eachother and doing things as a family,I knew he had alot of issues he needed to sort out so I quietly waited the year. Then he met a new one again,I smiled said I was happy then screamed cuz I thought it was going somewhere. He messed me around so much for a yr and a half. Then new year he went away with her for the weekend but told me his realised so much and want to have his family back together. She has caused alot of trouble for him regarding me kids and our dog. She controlled everything sent me threats over Christmas when I txt to tel him kids were havin a great time n hope he had a good day. She went mad when he was at work and the dog needed a scan at vets,he lives with my ex but is our dog! I drive she doesn't and I was half paying. He had to have tablets to make him go sleep so I had him at mine the night. She went mad and my ex was made to fetch him late that night ended up more hassle for me to go get him again in the morning. When his car broke I lent him mine to go garage and I went town we was not together at all but she went mad and threatene to text my mate to know if it was true or not! He had an appointment to set to another day and she phoned him saying she did not trust he wasn't with me. She has threatened to ruin his life if he leaves her with violence towards me his car and with everything else in his life to make rumors up ect. His scared to leave her but wants to be home his told his friends about the threats but just told me his trying and she won't take no for an anca. This has gone on from day one of these relationship 6months now. We are best friends n have kids she knew this from the begingmg but just causes alot of trouble for him with her constant lies. He says he does like her but knows he does not want her and has realised what he had with me......but why is it all Takein so long to sort in the mean time im waiting and his promising me but spending time with someone he dont want sleeping with her and still acting like its ok between the break up chats. What do I do we both just want our family back together but his so scared. Im26 she is 23 his 28. Its so out of character for him his someone who dont take crap from anyone but you can see his a broken man. He had a lot of issues growijg up with violence and mom issues pushed pilar to post. He has said he dont no what his problem with women is....what does this mean?
View related questions:
at work, best friend, christmas, moved out, my ex, text, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 March 2013):
 It means that you need to wake up and smell the coffee, it means that he is either giving you the runaround, or he is a Guinness Book of Records type of wuss, or both.
On and off... a string of girls... what are you waiting for ? this guy is not and was not committed to you, and uses his current gf as an excuse to keep his cake and eat it too. It's obvious that at times he misses your kids and the comfort and domesticity of family life, that's human, but he does not miss them enough to make a final decision. Afraid ? Afraid of what ? A 28 y.o. manly man who's afraid of a 23 y.o. KID ? Oh please, even if she was really violent and abusive, he can call the police, obtain a restraining order ,..when there's a will there's a way.
When things do not get done, there's not enough will to get them done , it's that simple.
Sure it's possible that he has childhood issues and mommy issues - who does not ? That's for his shrink to care about, not for you. You'd better protect your own interest and your dignity.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2013): Honey as long as you are there for him, nothing will change, you will always be his back up plan.
This is very unhealthy for you and you need to let go and start seeing other guys. Why do you lower yourself by waiting on the side for a man that has given so much of pain.
If he truely loved you he would not have been with so manny other woman. Time to move on and stop baby siting him, its not your job.
I would recommend you start the no contact and let him deal through a neutral person if he wants to see the kids.
Remember she is his girlfriend, you are the other woman and he is in no hurry to leave this woman and I am afraid he is making excuses to strin you along. You need to start teh no contact rule and move on in life or you will be stuck in the past pining for man that does not love nor respect you.
...............................
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (15 March 2013):
 e are best friends n have kids ...
Excuses, excuses. No, you aren't best friends. You feel you deserve to be with him just cause you have kids with him. it doesnt work like that.
You are basically his mother. always there for him whenever he screws up, always there to talk to him.
does he want u in his life? absolutely yes. men always appreciate a mother figure in their lives. plus, u take care of his children.
does he love u? No.
does he respect u? No.
does he respect himself? No. What kind of man is scared of a woman who threatens him? Please.
He will always want YOU + another girl to make his life complete.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): ...this is really hard to understand grammar-wise, so I might have misunderstood some thingsFrom what I'm getting, this guy is not worth the trouble, he was very quickto make babies, then quick to cheat, quick to leave, quick to come back, quick to reconsider and decide he wants to be back with you... uh notice the pattern of not thinking things through, I have absolutely no idea why you are so quick to accept him back, it seems obvious to me that he's going to be quick to reconsider that as welland also, he's not scared. if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you, if he's with her, he wants to be with her. he just wants to keep you waiting on him, it's always 'nice' to have someone to bang on the side or waiting on you, how long are you going to wait on him, letting him leave and come as he sees fit... what are you, a doormat?
...............................
|
