A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so three years ago i met a guy online, he lives in another country . So we were friends for about a year then it kind've became an online relationship when he told me he liked me and i liked him back. We talk on video call etc and ive spoken to his sister, cousin and his friends etc before. I've also told my parents about him and they have spoken to him and he is friends with my bestfriend ( whose a guy) so it seems pretty safeee. Now this august i am going to meet him, me and my family are going on holiday to his country and we are finally going to meet ( with my parents knowing ofcourse!) Well i am nervous and i was wondering if i should take a parent with me when i first meet him? or what exactly i should do! i just wanna be safe about it although i do trust him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello everyone! sorry i havnt updated you guys
I met him and it was great! i also met his mum and his sister and my parents were there too! we are now officially dating :) and he's coming here to visit me in a few months as well
Thank you so so much for all your resposes i really appreciate it x
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (30 August 2012):
Any news? Did things go well?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you citadel :) and i shall let you guys know
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female
reader, citadel  +, writes (16 June 2012):
Now there is a girl who knows how to take care of herself.
Hats Off, Let us know how it went.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your replies, its very much appreciated :) I have decided to have a parent near by and we are going to meet in a public place
I have been on dates before and when i do i tell my parents who im going with etc and they do trust my choice
Originally im from asia ( sorry i dont feel comfortable specifying what country) and he's from the same country as i am originally from.
Im confortable about making conversation im pretty confident about that
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (16 June 2012):
 where is he from? :)
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (15 June 2012):
What experience have you had with dating?
I'm one of those gray-haired parent people myself. When my kids (both sons and daughter) were High School age my wife and I insisted on knowing who they were going to be with, where they were going, and when we should expect them home. We didn't insist that guys come to the house to pick up our daughter (most did - the exceptions were "group dates" where several couples would meet someplace for an activity), but we expected to meet both our sons' and daughter's companions by the second date or so. By the time they went off to college we were confident in their abilities to select appropriate dates.
Even so, I think your situation calls for some kind of chaperone or buddy system. You should have somebody with you, at least for the introduction phase. Doesn't have to be a parent - an older brother or sister, or even a trustworthy, level-headed friend, will do. Here's a few ideas to consider:
- Having a familiar person with you may actually make the initial meeting, conversation, etc, LESS awkward and nervous - and therefore help you make a good impression on this guy.
- It could actually boost the guy's ego to be going to dinner or a movie with TWO girls, especially if it's clear that the "extra" will pay her own way. (Chivalry and social customs aside, it may be appropriate to agree beforehand that each pays his own way in this situation.)
- If the guy is serious he will want to make a good impression on your parents, as well as you. Perhaps the best way is to offer to meet all of you for lunch or coffee. (That's an old parent person suggesting that.)
Having parents, or older adults, involved in your initial meetings may not be bad at all. When I was 22, I met a girl through somewhat similar circumstances. We didn't have email or internet, so for 3 months we sent real letters back and forth to each other, every other day or so. When we finally met face-to-face there was an older adult present - her aunt, who had actually "introduced" us, and who was also a friend of my parents. She was only with us for about 15 or 20 minutes, and I don't recall that her presence was at all awkward or embarrassing.
This young lady and I had our first date that evening, and when I took her home (actually, she was staying with her aunt that night) we kissed - a REAL, very serious kiss - which didn't seem inappropriate because we had been getting progressively serious in our letters for several months. For our SECOND date, I was actually an overnight houseguest at her parents' house. A year plus two weeks after our first face-to-face meeting, we were married - and have been for nearly 38 years.
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (15 June 2012):
 I agree with citadel. Make sure you and he are in a public place. You don't have to bring your parents when you meet him, but make sure they know where you're going to be, just in case. Good luck :)
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female
reader, citadel +, writes (15 June 2012):
Make it a public place and have a parent stand in the wings incase it gets crazy. 3 years is a long time, if he was lets say working with a sex ring, he wouldn't have wasted this much time. But you never know.
Best play it safe. Also make sure your cell phone works in his country.
But it would be nice after this much time to meet one to one and not make it so much a family affair until the second date. Of course though, it might be entirely up to your parents. I being one would be in the wings with a cop and a pair of binoculars and some mace.
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