A
female
age
30-35,
*izz.butterflies
writes:Hey y'all ! So I've been in a LDR with my awesome boyfriend for a year now. He comes to see me often, so he's met my friends. this time, i want to throw a birthday party for him at my apartment...and all *my* friends will be invited obviously since his friends cannot come. The thing is, my boyfriend is a muslim so he doesn't drink at all. He's been out to bars and clubs where my friends drunk but i was thinking, since it's HIS birthday this time,I wanna handle the alchohol issue a little delicately. Thing is here, cause i'm a student, when we are invited to peoples bday prties, we usually bring liquor instead of a gift. I wouldn't like people arriving with a bottle in hand though....What am I supposed to write in the invitation? P.S I plan on ordering some pizza and perhaps cooking some ethnic food too....
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male
reader, tenjeeuk  +, writes (23 August 2014):
Why is he objecting to alcohol, yet he is OK with the greater sin of "zina" with you?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I agree with telling or writing your guests to not bring alcohol as a gift , because it would be a total waste of money , but I don't think you need to be uber-politically correct and ban alcohol from your party .
He is a Muslim , but he is a Muslim attending a party in YOUR country , in a multi- ethnic society, where -hopefully- he gets respect for his choices and habits but he has to show it too for other people's.
So, he should not be asked or pressured to drink alcohol, or to eat pork, but should not feel uncomfortable or offended if other people do.
...If he'd come from a country where women normally wear a veil or a headscarf, because hair is considered " sexual " ( there are still more than you'd think ), what would you do, tell all your girlfriends they have to come to the party with a headscarf on ?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 just one word of caution.
I can see telling them "no alcohol as gifts" but if your crowd is used to alcohol at parties.. having a party with NO ALCOHOL will be difficult for many and may reduce the attendance at the party.
I know for me when we've had venues that were alcohol free there was still drinking going on in the cars in the parking lot.... some folks equate party with alcohol...
and while it's noble to respect your boyfriend's desires and religion, forcing others to participate is not going to be popular especially in your age group...
so while "no alcohol as gifts" is acceptable to me... NO ALCOHOL at the party (also acceptable to me) may not be acceptable to your friends in the long term or even at one party.... plan accordingly.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (10 February 2013):
mizz.butterflies is verified as being by the original poster of the question First off, thanks for the responses :) I dont know guys... like i said, my boyfriend has been around my friends who drink, but this time its gonna be HIS party. I'm thinking of calling them up actually. It's gonna be easier to convey and won't sound too formal or strict. Thanks a bunch !!!
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 February 2013):
I'd probably send something like this.
"Hi [insert name]. I'm hosting a surprise B-day party for [insert name] at my apartment and I'd really like you to come. As you may be aware he is Muslim, so this party is going to be a bit different from what you're used to. Because it's his birthday and he's prohibited by his religion to drink alcohol, I'd appreciate it if you do not bring alcoholic beverages as a gift."
Up until then it's straight forward. But now it depends on what you want. Do you want the party to be zero alcohol? Then you're going to have to explain that. "Out of respect for him I'd really like to make this a non alcohol party. Of course I'll have nice snacks and various other drinks to compensate."
If a bit of alcohol is okay, but you want to make a point about having it used sparingly, you can say something like this: "out of respect for my boyfriend I'd like to limit the alcohol. There will be some present at the party, but not enough to cause embarassing stories and a blistering headache in the morning."
If you feel it's hard to convey what you want in the invitation, call them up and explain things.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Why don't you not write it on the invite, but tell them over the phone or something?
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