A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So this is my story.I have always wanted to be with this girl and finally, she agreed. We've been dating for a bit more than a year now.We got our ups and downs but all in all, it was pretty good, except for the fact that it was "just" "pretty good". Not head over heels in love, a convenient relationship for both of us.But she is hot.And the problem is, that also flirtatious. I've caught her text-flirting with a guy behind my back and such. And apart from that, she also lied to me, although in small things. That she didn't do "anything special" all day, later turned out that she went to a party. That she went to a shopping mall, later it turned out that it was another shopping mall. If I confronted her, she was "okay, sorry, let's just move on, okay?".This weekend, her birthday came, the 25th. We went out two times the week before, took her to have dinner in her favourite restaurant, next day I went to the family celebration, I brought her a surprise and slept over etc. She said that there was going to be a "surpsise party" on Saturday, but no one invited me, so I thought it was going to be some ladies' night, so I planned to work and agreed to meet a friend of mine in the city, in case there is really a party. Her brother called me an hour before the party saying he was sorry, they forgot about me, the party starts in an hour. I said I won't be able to come before 1 am., I haven't finished work yet, live far away and agreed to meet someone for an hour, but then I'd go for sure. I told him to tell her all this, well, he didn't.So I finished work, went into the city, talked to friend for an hour and arrived to the party at 2. She didn't really want to see me that much, and her friends started to insult me, one of them (a guy whom I saw hugging her when I arrived) told me to love her or fuck off and threatened me. I said I should go then, told her that they threatened me, she said okay, bye. She didn't tell them to leave me alone, she thought that for being late, this would fit me well and I didn't want to start a fight on her birthday. So she stayed and went on partying with these douches until 6 in the morning.She didn't tell them that it was too much ever since (although I told her the whole story), so I decided to break up with her, because it is no joke now.Please tell me your opinions. I agree that it was not very nice arriving later (although, if I knew about it a few hours earlier, I would have gone earlier too, but I thought they wouldn't start clubbing before midnight anyways) but it was just too much, threatening me like that, with her saying nothing. When I told her this, she blamed be for being late.So, what do you think?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 January 2012):
 Her first loyalty should be to you in this relationship.
But instead she sided with her friends. This is not what a committed loyal girl friend would do.
I am perturbed that it was her brother who invited you, not your girlfriend. Did he do this out of loyalty to you because he thought it very odd that she had not invited you? Had she intended to exclude you? That is certainly not what a good loyal girl friend would do.
And I am sorry to say that, despite YOU being the GOOD guy, I do not think she is as committed to you as one would expect after all the time you and your Gf have been together.
It may be nice and comfortable and convenient, for you, but perhaps she wants something more than that for her? A bit more excitement. So perhaps she seeks out more shallow bad boys? And keeps this fact from you? (The texting - and her rather weak response when discovered)
Her lies are also a red flag that all is not well in this relationship. I think she is less loyal than you.
Take the time to really examine this relationship and examine if she is really the woman for you? even if she is 'hot' she cannot meet your needs if she is also disloyal, does not tell you the truth and lies to you on a regular basis. That is not the foundations for a good relationship in the future.
I think you deserve better than you are enduring in this relationship. Sometiems facing reality is very very tough. And it hurts to realise that the time has come to say good bye - but a new love may give you far more happiness, loyalty and satisfaction than this woman.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankd, babu3u!
Thing is that she said she is sorry for all this, that this happened this way, but still, she didn't want to stand up for me against her friends and haven't talked to them about this since than.
And that is what I asked from her, because letting them get away with this would mean that she cares more about their opinions than she cares about me, really.
Had my friends done this, I would have told them off in that minute, telling them that this is none of their business.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): Who is friend, male or female?
I suspect there is way more to this post and you are not some innocent in all of this. You said this is a relationship of convienence and the GF is HOT!
So you get what you want from her and its not all great. Then it ended. So what is the issue?
Forget about it and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankd, babu3u!
Thing is that she said she is sorry for all this, that this happened this way, but still, she didn't want to stand up for me against her friends and haven't talked to them about this since than.
And that is what I asked from her, because letting them get away with this would mean that she cares more about their opinions than she cares about me, really.
Had my friends done this, I would have told them off in that minute, telling them that this is none of their business.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the answers!
What still bothers me though is that she probably didn't want to break up, because she said she is sorry and everything, she said she loves me and hopes that we can be happy again.
But still, if she doesn't bother talking to her friends just to save this relationship, I can't believe it's true and she just wants me to shut up and stop making trouble.
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A
female
reader, babu3u +, writes (25 January 2012):
 You really shouldn't feel bad about this. It wasn't your fault that you were late, no one invited you. And at least you tried to make it even if you were late. It's super lame that she didn't back you up when all her friends were making you feel terrible. So don't feel at fault, she actually should be apologizing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Break up time, honey.
The convenience of this relationship is over. If she cared you being invited wouldn't have been an afterthought.
Stop being a doormat, just because she is hot.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 January 2012):
 100% agree with your decision.
she probably wanted to break up with you but didnt know how to tell you. so she made you do this. you sound like a very reasonable person. dont let this bother you.
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