A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 30 year old man. I very rarely feel like Sex. I know it's affecting my relationship. I always want to sleep as soon as I lie down. I fall asleep so easily, after sex, if we have it, I fall straight asleep. I dread the thought of sex. When we have sex, I enjoy it, but just can't be bothered most of the time. I sleep well, I eat well, I don't smoke, I do a lot of sports...I find my fiance attractive. I know she is very sexual, has always had a lot of passion and sexual desire, and I recently can feel she's almost given up expecting sex from me, and even the subject of ex relationships has come up, and I feel I let her down completely. I really, really want to have more sexual appetite, I want to feel passion, excitement... Is there anything I can do? Naturally? This isn't just now, its since forever...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): I thought I was the only person with the same problem you are having, I just don't need sex like others my age seem to need. I am 29 and I do anything at all to aviod it completely. Even at the expensice of having my boyfriend of 14 years cheat. I would rather he get what he needs someplace else, I just don't want sex.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 maybe ur tired of it because ur overly exposed to it since ur fiance has such a sex drive that secretly you know she will initiate sex so u dont wanna bother.... have a talk with her and ask her to stop initiating sex...just to see what happens..... dont have sex UNTIL u approach her first...
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 I would get your hormone levels checked. It's possible for men to become low in testosterone and too high in estrogen. Being too high in estrogen when you are a male does have a big effect on your sex drive.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): We live together, have had many sexual partners in the past, have been together a few years. I have had this problem for years, maybe the first month I meet a girl I'm into it, but even then...I think I see it as more of something I should be enjoying, than that I actually am. I think I must be looking at it the wrong way :S
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Do you work, play sports, and keep yourself active? If you are so active you are too tired for sex, that could be a problem. On the other hand, if you have enough energy for other pursuits, but just can't get in the mood...you might want to see the doctor and see if you have low testosterone.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 if you are sexually on different wavelengths then you need to meet in the middle and have a discussion. she might feel rejected but sex drives often don't match so you need to express your feelings and try to understand each other better.
talking will help- so do it- have a talk about how you feel
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2012): In amongst that detail, there are a few things you left out. Such as, how often do you guys see each other and do you live together? And is there any religious reason you don't want to have sex before marriage?
If you live together, have had sex in the past and are not abstaining for the glory of God, then you need to sort this out. Much as, speaking as a fellow male, I find it hard to imagine a woman who wants sex more than her man, if she's mentioning ex partners that's a strong hint she's not happy and is already developing a roving eye. I would say do it even when you don' feel like it. Sex is addictive, but so is abstinence. The more you get it the more you want it, but also vice versa applies. You might just surprise yourself in terms of the benfits you reap with just a little effort.
If on the other hand you want to remain a virgin before marriage, that's a totally different scenario, and if she can't respect your wishes, dump her.
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