A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a tough one to explain, where do I start. My father was very abusive, controlling and walked all over my mother, and I grew up watching this. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, I am 18 and he is 15 years older than me. Things were great at first, we were so in love. Now, we never go out, never really talk and worse of all, our skin never touches, it seems we are as far away from each other as possible. Even in bed we don't sleep next to each other, the dogs sleep in the middle of us. And I feel this is all down to me. It's me who doesn't want to touch, or talk. I love my boyfriend to pieces, but I am finding it very difficult to know when he is in the wrong, and when I'm just being in my silly stroppy mood. I am always annoyed with my boyfriend, is this because he is annoying, or because I am putting up a sort of shield to protect myself from getting hurt the same way my m did? So my question to all of you, is... If it's just me, what can I do to stop feeling so angry at my boyfriend all the time? He treats me like a princess, he is amazing... So why am I always annoyed with him? Please help! X Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LovelyLemon  +, writes (25 January 2012):
 I'm not exactly an expert, but I have found that many people get frustrated and angry at their partners when there is something going wrong inside themselves. A negative feeling about yourself or something in your life that is frustrating you may be projected onto your partner.If counseling didn't help, take some time to introspect and think about all of the stresses in your life, all of the damage from your childhood. Think about what would make you happy in your relationship as opposed to how it is now.Be patient with your boyfriend and with yourself.Much love and Best wishes
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionglad i could make you smile, thats the least i can do after your advice, since my man has been home from work we have cuddled lots (hes playing his boy games now though) hehe! i'm not saying i have changed just like that, but so far tonight since he has been home, i have not stressed at him once :) ... which is a huuuuge improvement :) so thank you once again, and so happy my responce made you smile :) xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Thanks for your response sweety. Your appreciation caused a big smile on my face :) Stay blessed. good luck! Mucho luv!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers guys, i have already tried counselling, but didnt find it very useful, as i am very open with my life and can talk to anyone about my problems anyway, so paying a counsellor didnt make any difference. it means a lot to me that you have all replied, thank you so much.
I just want to say a huge thank you to mizz.butterflies... your answer has really helped me, and i will be sure to take into concideration every point you have mentioned. you have really helped me see that what i have is an amazing guy, and i just need to make a few changes. i know this isnt going to be instant but i will work on it. also... no more dogs on the bed from tonight! lol and the answer to your question, yes he has noticed i have been distant with him, but he copes with it really well and just lets me !get on with my strop" lol bless him, he is honestly my perfect man, and i am going to do everything possible to make sure i dont mess it up. Thanks again to all of you who posted, i really appreciate it! xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 January 2012):
STEP 1
get that dog OUT RIGHT NOW. no dog sleeps between a couple. let him sleep at ur feet if anything, OR BETTER in his own bed.this will take time but u can watch 'ITS ME OR THE DOG' online. look up Victoria,the dog trainer. Looks like you need to train your lovely pup.
STEP 2
Re-establish intimacy. non-verbal,that is. when u go to bed, WITHOUT THE DOG..just hug him and kiss him. see how he will respond.
STEP 3
stop overanalyzing things. feel blessed to wake up next to this wonderful man. smile,kiss and BE HAPPY
my question to you = since hes doing everything right, hasnt he noticed u started being distant to him??
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): We can't tell you why your so annoyed at your boyfriend. All I can suggest is that you go and get some therapy for your issues and try to work out why you are so angry and annoyed at him. I can understand where your coming from, I have been in a situation where I wasn't sure the motivation behind it was, I got help, and you can too. I am sure that you can work this out. Good Luck
...............................
|
