A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a very loving relationship and have been for three months. Unfortunately, he went home for the summer while I stayed to do summer school. He and I talk everyday and I tell him I love him. Geez, I just finished writing him a love letter. I want to be with this guy. My issue is this. I went out one night for late night food before working on homework and this guy at the window (who I had seen before) started asking me about my outfit and hair and random stuff like that. When he gave me my stuff he asked if he could give me his number so we could text and hang out. I told him it was fine, but that he needed to know that I have a boyfriend. He and I have been texting and we went to the movie the other night-literally just went to the movie sat down watched it, drove him home. That's it. I didn't think I was flirting with him, just being myself. He brings up my boyfriend constantly and yet flirts heavily. He attempted to see if I'd go to his apartment at 2 in the morning which I declined and lied to end the conversation. I haven't told my boyfriend about any of this because I'm scared. All i wanted was a friend!! Am I in the wrong here? What should I do? I love my boyfriend and have no feelings for this other guy. :/ help!
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (11 June 2012):
 dont say anything to ur boyfriend. be less naive please. theres nothing wrong with having guy friends but they should know ur seeing someone and RESPECT THAT. now move on ...nothing happened and dont upset ur boyfriend over this...especially if u wanna have guy friends in the future. ur a big girl u should know who genuinely wants to be a friend and who wants to take u to his bed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2012): Clearly he wants more than friendship with you, but you have a boyfriend and no feelings for this guy so break contact with him. You're only risking your relationship with your boyfriend if you don't. You've already agreed to exchange numbers and go to the cinema with him, that in itself is odd behaviour (though not exactly cheating), but what next? What if you agree to go out for a "friendly" drink with him, have too many and end up sleeping with this guy? Look at it from your boyfriends point of view, what if he exchanged numbers with a strange female, they started texting and then next thing went to the cinema together, how would it look to you and make you feel?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do feel that he is making this into an inappropriate situation for me to be in, and will (if anything) bluntly let him know that this is NOT ok. Mind you, the only reasoning I gave myself was that I can have guy friends too; my boyfriend has girls who are friends that he will go and hang out with, one of them I don't like very much at all because she frequently tries to cross the line with him. As I write this, I realize that this is basically what would happen if I told him (he would feel what I feel about her with him) I'm just so scared that this could be considered cheating on him. Does going to the movies as a friend if the guy flirts but you don't count as cheating? :( Should I tell my boyfriend about this?? NOTHING has happened with this guy, nor will it. Any time he mentions going to his place I tell him no, and when he mentions coming to my dorm, I tell him no.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (3 June 2012):
hellooo;...hes not a friend since he started talking about ur outfit and hair...(unless hes gay) he was flirting with u from day 1... i say tell him u dont wanna hang out with him anymore... thats the end of it. u love ur boyfriend,dont mess things up.
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