A
female
age
30-35,
*exi2010
writes: Im 15 I Am pregnant and dont know what to do.. Please help me? If your gunna judge than dont say anything. Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 May 2010):
Congratulations lexie... am so happy for you both.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (26 May 2010):
Congratulations Lexi,
Good weight for a first child. Love and best wishes for you and the baby!
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (26 May 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I just had Her! she is 2 weeks early. 6 pounds, 5.3 oz.
She is the most precious baby in the world. I just want to thank you all for all of the support. I would not have been able to have done this without you all.
I'll keep u all informed on how she is doing.
Thank you.
Much love(:
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (20 April 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. haha YES! Whenever I am asleep she is wide awake kicking, All the time.whenever I am up doing something, She must be asleep. Well atleast I know what she will be when she is older. lol
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 April 2010):
Sirinity Faith... nice name, so she's decided to be a footballer then.. lol
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reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (19 April 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm 7 months now. And Im Nervous but excited.
We decided to name the baby Sirinity Faith.
She kicks ALL the time now. (:
I'll keep u posted.
Thanks for all of the support.
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (26 March 2010):
Congrats on the baby girl and congrats on behaving responsibly. I think everything is going to work out for you; keep up with your education because that's one of the most important ways you can ensure that you and your baby will have a stable future.
I'm so happy to know that you are getting so much support from your family. Definitely keep us posted as your pregnancy progresses.
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (26 March 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys(:
I will be posting an update Atleast once a week.
I`ll keep you all informed.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (25 March 2010):
Congratulations Lexie, now comes the hard part of trying to be the best mother you can.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 March 2010):
Thanks for the update Lexi. Good to know everything is working out.
Online school is a very good choice. 20 years ago when my wife worked with young mothers, that wasn't even an option.
Keep us posted
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (24 March 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts A girl(:
I`ve NEVER BEEN HAPPIER(:
Im gunna keep her.. Im gunna do Schooling online.. I know that I can do this... (:
I`ll keep U all informed(:
A GIRL(:
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female
reader, blueyedgirl +, writes (17 March 2010):
Lexie,I posted early in your thread, but I havn't posted since..I have been keeping up with it tho, and I am so glad to hear that you are doing so good. :-)Being pregnant is an amazing experience... I am glad that you are looking at your situation from all sides, I am sure you will make the right choice for you and your baby. Just know that we are here for you whatever you decide. Hugs :-) Blueyedgirl
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (2 March 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I know.
I DO need to think About HIS or HER future. And not just Thinking About MYSELF. Its just hard to Know that after 9 months, Im going to have to Hand my Baby Away.. Even If its going to be my Aunt.. U know?
But I`ll do wats best 4 Everyone in the long run..
I`ll keep u informed..
Thanks for being here. =)
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (1 March 2010):
Good Morning Lexi,
I thought I Had a few more months before I had to answer this question. Changing your mind about adoption is pretty common. Some times mothers change at the last minute. The baby is more real to you now and you are becoming attached to her/him. That is normal. That bonding is what holds families together. As the baby grows and you do ultra sounds, feel kicking, etc. you will get more and more attached.
You still have the right priority in your decision making. What is best for the child. You and your boy friend both have jobs. But because of your age and education your jobs are not that great of jobs. Getting married and raising a child now will limit your opportunities to improve that situation. As a result of that you will be less able to provide a great home for your children. There is a lot of difference between just surviving and doing well. For comparison you can look at your sister and your aunt. Whose children could be more happy, have more opportunities, get more education. The fact is that children of college graduates are more likely to go to college. You have plenty of time to think about this. You will probably have a lot of second thoughts. It is important that you know where these feelings come from. It is also important that you keep focused on your daughter's or son's well being. Remember that being responsible means making the right decision, even if it hurts.
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (1 March 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah.. Im gunna find out the baby`s Sex next month.. Im hoping 4 a girl.
Im having some second thoughts about Adoption.. Im considering Keeping The baby. I have a job, and so does the baby`s daddy. So I think I can handle The responsibility. But Im not 100% positive yet.. If not my aunt Will adopt him/her. Im still not sure wats best for The baby, Me, and the dad yet.. but I will figure it out. But Im doing ALOT better than Before.. so..
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reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (1 March 2010):
Hi ya Lexi,
It is good to hear that all is going well. So you are starting the second trimester. For many it is the easy coasting part of the pregnancy. No radical changes, not so overburdened. My secretary is nearing the end of her second trimester, and it hasn't been an easy one for her. So you will deliver around August. Hottest time of the year in the northern hemisphere. That will be a challenge to you when you are near term.
Keep in touch
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (28 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah Its the most AMAZING feeling EVER.. Now I dont feel like its a MISTAKE, Its more of a blessing in disguise. Im So happy that I have the support of My WHOLE family, And everyone else.
My Boyfriend has been AMAZING through all of this too.. Im due in 6 months, and Im not as scared anymore.. Im just anxious.. Thank u..
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (27 February 2010):
Lexi,
Congratulations on that milestone. It all seems so much more real when you hear that heartbeat. Thanks for keeping us updated.
FA
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reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (27 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOmg I just heard the Baby`s Heart-beat.. WOW.. So Amazing!! Thank u all for supporting me. :)
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 February 2010):
Lexi I feel so much better knowing your family is behind you on this. It is a good sign that your boy friend is being supportive as well. This will be a hard time for you, because it will separate you from your peers. You may feel all alone.
Pregnancy really is a wonderful thing, the miracle of new life and all. Even when it is planed it can be a bit scary. Even though women have done it successfully through the ages. I was nervous at some point during each of our 4 pregnancies.
Keep your chin up.
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (18 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo FA.
My parents Agree with my decision. I have been to the doctor, I went yesterday, she gave me those prenatol Vitamins. I havent found am adoption agency.. but my Aunt said she would adopt my baby, That would be Awsome I think. My whole family is supporting me know... Im nervous but excited knowing that MY AUNT is gunna take care of him/her. Im NOT alone through all of this like I thought I`d be..
Oh and the Baby`s Daddy Is 100% supportive of me... thats wat I need.
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reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (18 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo FA.
My parents Agree with my decision. I have been to the doctor, I went yesterday, she gave me those prenatol Vitamins. I havent found am adoption agency.. but my Aunt said she would adopt my baby, That would be Awsome I think. My whole family is supporting me know... Im nervous but excited knowing that MY AUNT is gunna take care of him/her. Im NOT alone through all of this like I thought I`d be..
Oh and the Baby`s Daddy Is 100% supportive of me... thats wat I need.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (18 February 2010):
That's a good decision Lexi and I am glad you are thinking of what is best for the baby. Are your parents on board with you in this decision? Have you seen a doctor? Have you found a good adoption agency? I don't want to be a pest, or stack you with a huge burden of things to do, but these are things you need to be working on.
Keep us informed. And, Keep up a good attitude.
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (18 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI`ve desided that Im gunna do the most responsible thing, and put the baby up for adoption, but Im gunna have an open adoption. Thats wats best for the baby & me in the long run.
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male
reader, 50william +, writes (17 February 2010):
Lexi:
Listen to F A!! You need to find someone or a group of friends you can talk to [face to face is the best] who will listen to you and advise you WITHOUT ANY BIAS OR PREJUDICE. Whatever you decide will change your life forever & open doors & close other doors in your life.
When you decide please remember that is decission is YOURS & YOURS ALONE. Your true friends will support you. Other 'friends' will continue to say I would have made this/that choice.
I hope that if any of my children were in this situation [already out of college], they would to talk with us & WE WOULD LISTEN!
I learned this lesson from dealing with not listening to my younger brother prior to his suicide. Who says life is easy & fair.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 February 2010):
Lexi, your doing real well, you got your sister and your boyfriend to help you right now. Please contact planned pregnancy, get advice from the experts there. You do need to see a doctor as soon as possible.
About your parents.. catholic right.. well yes sex before marriage is wrong, but so is abortion according to catholic law. You can tell them that you know that abortion is a total sin, and you can't do that and sleep at nights. Use guilt on them, use their religion to make them realise they are asking you to murder a child..
Now I'm not against abortion, in some cases it's the right choice, but it's not what you want, and that's all that matters. You need to get some expert advice so you can sound sensible and determined when you next talk to your parents. Make plans about what you will do if they kick you out, also make plans about money and school.
Sorry things turned out this way, they already made mistakes with your sister, lets hope the make the right decision with you. Stay strong, your sister will try to help as much as she can. But if you want to be a mother, your going to start helping yourself, so make an appointment to see the doctors and get advice on your pregnancy.
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reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (17 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey FA.
Thank u so much for supporting me through all of this! Its nice to know that people care. My sister know`s whats going on, & she said she will help me through my pregnancy. It seems like I DO have EMOTIONAL support from u. And I cant thank u enough for that. My sister knows what Im going through, and she isnt judgemental.. Thats what I need from my parents right now. I know I`ve made some MISTAKES if u would call them that.. But now I`ve got to live with the consequences.
Thank u soooo much
Lexi
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female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (17 February 2010):
I understand what it is to be young and pregnant. I can't say I was brave enough to go through with it. I chose abortion. I can't say that I regret it, but I can't say I feel happy about it. It was a relief, but I find myself being ashamed and guilty about it. However, I still feel it was the best choice I could have made for myself. But if abortion is not the path you want to take, don't! It is your body and your decision! Your parents should not be able to tell you if you can keep the baby or not. Don't be persuaded by them and follow your heart. Think things through. You still have time.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (17 February 2010):
Hi again Lexi,
OK you have one person on your support team and you are having dialog with your parents. That's good for 1 day. Keep talking to mom and dad.
Let me tell you a little more about being a parent of teenagers. I made mistakes with my oldest daughter that I will regret forever. Hopefully, for the sake of my other daughters, I won't repeat them. What I learned was that trying to make her decisions for her just didn't work. She made bad decisions no matter what I did. All my girls are different. I can't do with one what works with another. Keep building a network of support. You have many options available.
Personally I support your decision not to abort. It is not really the easy choice it is portrayed as. I'm not as familiar with your religion as I should be, so I can't help you there. In mine you would be advised to put the childs well being first. At your age that would probably mean going through with the pregnancy and finding adoptive parents for the child. I say probably because every person is different.
This is a big burden for any person. Gather as much support as you can find. There is little we can do online. We can't go to dr. appointments with you. Or hold you when you need comfort. Or help to pay the bills. All we can do is offer gentle advice as you go through this.
Love ya,
FA
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (17 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk This is 4 all of yall...
Im a 15 year old freshman in high school.. I was brought up with strong Catholic beliefs..
My BF and I have only been together 4 five months.. So This was completly un-expected... We were really safe.. but it didnt work... Im about 1 month pregnant.. And Im showing Already.... My parents Told me they would kick me out If I ever got pregnant... BC my sister Also had a baby young... at 16.. and they kicked her out...
Im not here for anyone to judge me... I need support...
SO PLEASE HELP ME!!
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (17 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just got done telling them, and they want me to get an abortion.. but Im against that..
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (17 February 2010):
Sometimes parents issue those threats but they don't really meant it.It is just an empty threat and nothing more.
Which loving parents would want their children to suffer or throw them out into the streets?
They want the best for their children.Pluck up your courage and get over it because sooner or later , they will know.
Do not fear your parents.What you think may not happen.
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female
reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (16 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo FA..
I was about to tell my mom today, but was scared.. the baby`s dad knows, and he`s gunna support me no matter wat I choose to do...
My parents are very old fashioned, so its gunna be hard to tell them.. IDK..
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 February 2010):
Why do parents say these things. I mean I could see saying, "If you have a drug party in my house, I'm going to kick you out". You could justify that by saying you are protecting the other kids, and the home. Besides kids want to party, they don't want to be pregnant.
Teach them good moral principles, and safe sex, and accidentally leave a few condoms lying around. As a parent your job is to protect your children. OK, enough of my opinions to the parents.
Lexi, no one in the whole world loves you more than your parents do. The threat is to try to protect you from the frightening situation you are now in. You just go and talk to them. They will be shocked. They may say some hurtful things. But, in the end they are more motivated, and more able to help you than anyone.
I'm crossing my fingers for you.
FA
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female
reader, Angzw +, writes (16 February 2010):
I remember a few years ago, a cousin of mine became pregnant in the final year of high school. We had all grown up with the 'kick you out' threats so we were scared what would happen to her. So she packed a small suitcase, then went to talk to her parents while holding it, as if she was ready to go. She told her parents with plenty of tears and said she understood that she doesn't deserve to stay there after what has happened and she was going to wander around in the city looking for somewhere to stay. She told them she was a bad daughter and didn't deserve such good parents and so she was saying goodbye and was sorry to disappoint them. As they were standing there shocked she asked them for bus fare into the city. Basically, she used reverse psychology and said everything she thought they would say. They saw how broken she was and didn't even end up shouting at her. We had debated long and hard if she should tell mother only, but she said she knew her father would blame her mother for it all so she told them both together. We had discussed if they called her bluff to leave what she would do, and she had planned a fainting spell by the door and plan be was grandma's. This is manipulation to the extreme but it worked for her. Delivered a healthy girl, went back to school and has now bought her own house and her Computer science degree. Baby now in high school and loved by all! You made a mistake, but this could be the beginning of a new chapter of responsibility for you. All the best.
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reader, Lexi2010 +, writes (16 February 2010):
Lexi2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate all of the advise yall have given me.. I want to tell my parents but they already told me that if I ever did get pregnant they would kick me out... Im really scared!!
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female
reader, Angzw +, writes (16 February 2010):
Call 1800 230 PLAN or 1800 999 9999. These two organizations have free counsellors that will help you through the decisions you have to make. They will also help you tell your parents if you decide to keep the baby. If you decide not to keep it, they will get you in touch with the nearest clinics to arrange a termination. If you decide to terminate then I suggest you act quickly. When you are about a month pregnant, your baby is about the size of your baby finger nail. But the longer you delay then the bigger it gets. If you decide to keep it then seek medical help quickly because there are essential blood tests and supplements you need to have in order to have a normal baby. If you don't have certain minerals in your system because you want to keep it a secret then on top of having a baby at 15 then you can also end up with a disabled child because you are not receiving proper care and the essential supplements that your doctor will determine from your blood tests. So act now and don't delay. I wish you well dear.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (16 February 2010):
Talk to your parents /guardians or someone who is very close to you or your school counselors.
Keep calm and know what are the options available. Don't act in haste.
This link may gives you more detail insights.
http://www.careconfidential.com/IAmPregnant.aspx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): I think everyone has covered pretty much everything on here...But being pregnant young is scary! If it was me I would be freaking out, and a docter, and my parents would NOT be very good support. I would want one of my friends to help me through this and stand next to me...:) do you know someone who could do this? it would probably help majorly.
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reader, LIVEFREE +, writes (16 February 2010):
Hello Miss,
Well sweet heart, I know your scared out of your mind, I don't know the full circumstances or how much support that your getting from you family, and the support of the young father to be. Ultimately you have a few options, I know there already swimming around in your mind. I have a daughter is almost 20 now in first year of college. 1) I can honestly tell you the hardest thing you will ever do is fall in love with that baby during the next 9 months then hand that bundle of joy over to another loving family. This will not be easy, and you will need counseling or support from a clergyman that will offer you advice for many months, there are several stages you will go thru. 2) You decide to keep the baby, have you tried getting up every 2 to 3 hours and maintain a 8 hour shift working or in school for a week straight, try and see how you feel before you have the baby. Say good-bye to a social life or hanging out at the mall. You will have to rely on others to get you to doctors or store,etc. How will your finances hold up to this, is your family in the position to handle this? WIC is a great program if you do keep the baby, helps keep Mom and baby healthy and lots of teaching tools to guide you along the way. Just remember that your life will never be the same at this point anyways, be as smart as you can be before making any decisions tell Mom and Dad as soon as possible they will be a huge factor in what you decide to do. 3) I can't educate you on abortion, because for me that's just not a option, I have a set of twins age 20 and 16 year old, they are my life, and I was 19 when I first became a mother, it is my one and only thing I have done right in my life. Please listen to your heart and research what it is to take care of a infant, toddler, and the different child developments, oh let me tell you those are the easy years, teen-agers OMG those adorable memories of sweet baby get you thru these teen age years. You will be in my prayers and thoughts, don't loose faith...
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reader, smcd +, writes (16 February 2010):
does ur mom know if not then u should explain it to her and do u know the dad u have to tell him he might even help with the baby if hes a real man
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reader, HarryFlashman +, writes (16 February 2010):
Agree with FA. My advice is to get some support -- normally, that's your family, but without more details, it's hard to hazard more.
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female
reader, blueyedgirl +, writes (16 February 2010):
Sweetie, just what are you wanting to know? Have you told your parents or your baby's daddy? If not then that is the first thing you need to do, then you need to find a doctor. They (your parents and or your doctor) can tellyou what to expect as far as your changing body, hormones, and your options. If you just need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me... Good luck, :-)
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reader, missSamanthamary +, writes (16 February 2010):
talk to your mom . that must be really scary , im sure if anyone will understand it will be her and she will be able to give the best advice , think about what u really want for yourself tho . good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): first thing first - take a deep breath! I know this may seem like the end of the world but honestly it isn't - it happens all the time and like you, most of us girls freak out about it and wonder what the heck we are gonna do particularly if it was unplanned. I would suggest thinking hard about thing, maybe talking to a very trusted friend or aunt or parent - its hard to go through alone. You could take to a cousellor or a doctor. Do they have a teen help hotline where you live that perhaps you could ring or a pregnancy centre for teens you could go to for help/advice? You may want to keep, abort or adopt but remember no one can make that decision but you. Its your life however i would stress that talking and having someone their besides you may help ease some of the burden you are shouldering alone.
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reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 February 2010):
With that amount of information about all we can advise is to do what the doctor says. Build yourself a good support group. Eat healthy, exercise, and take care of your self.
More information could improve the advice.
FA
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010):
If your pregnancy is in the first 1-3 months then I would get an abortion.
Many others will counsel you against an abortion, and I'm fine with that. You deserve to hear both sides of the issue. But I just want you to know that not everyone thinks it's wrong for you to make that choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): If I was you I'd think long and hard about whether keeping it would be the right decision.There are many solutions to this1. You could keep it. However you would need alot of support from your family and of course the father of the child. You need to think about how you would pay for the baby and whether you could give the baby the support it really needs. Your still a child yourself and should really thinking about your future and education rather than being stuck with a baby. Having a baby is extremely emotional but with the support of your family and friends it wouldn't be impossible.2. Abortion. You really need to think long and hard if you decide to do this. It will be extremely emotional and will be something you will never forget. If you are unsure please don't have an abortion as it's not something you can undo.3. Adoption. You could decide to keep the baby until you give birth and find a family who will take care of your child. This way you know your baby will be getting all the support and love it will need.Whatever you decide to do make sure you are certain about your decision and noone forces you into anything! This is YOUR baby and only you can decide what to doGoodluck babe x
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