A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is gonna sound pretty stupid. I'm 17 years old and I seem to be a bit confused. I've dated a handful of girls in my life but I've never really felt that "spark". I've always been attracted to girls but never their personalities. Suddenly, I've seen to convinced myself that I'm not straight. I don't think this is true, but I also can't seem to shake the feeling. I tried to test myself by watching gay porn, and I honestly was not even remotely turned on. But it didn't seem to bother me either. I could watch it for a while, but I started to really get grossed out when the video got to the cumming and butt sex parts.The reason I'm so unsure is because I have never really been able to settle down for a relationship with a girl. I really feel like I'm not attracted to men, but it seems to be bothering me a lot that I haven't been able to be in a relationship with one. I look around my school and find attractive girls, but I just never like there personalities enough to want to dedicate all my time to.I've also never been attracted to a guy...I guess it's kind of a stupid question...but thanks for reading
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Most girls will be dumbasses like most guys will be assholes. It's the teenage years. We're all trying to figure ourselves out and figure out what we want. We also sometimes just go for the physical and not whats on the inside. Girls are bitches, they might always be but stop trying to find a girl and love will find you. Don't try to figure out girls either. We're too complicated.
Just live life out. You got your whole life ahead of you kid. Don't worry so much.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): You're still so young, so I wouldn't worry about it. Just because you haven't found true love at 17 doesn't mean you won't find it all. As other posters have said, you're still discovering who you are, what you like, etc. You don't have to make a decision right now or be in a relationship. I'm sure it's hard if your friends are all in one, but it would be more difficult to be in one that you don't like. Cut yourself some slack and at the risk of sounding cliche, just enjoy being young. Concentrate on your studies and then when you're ready and the time is right, you'll find someone. But worrying about it will only make matters worse. So try and relax, give it time, and just have fun for now- you only get to be 17 once.
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A
female
reader, luckiihottii +, writes (4 March 2010):
 well, with me being a girl i think you should gove a "preppy" girl a shot. I'm am so called "preppy" and all of the boys love me. not all of the girls have the same personality. Maybe you should go and ask an adult for advise. But, always remember there are other fish in the sea. Don't be shy maybe go up to one of the openly gay boys in your school and ask them how they first knew they were gay. then maybe make friends with them. then see in like 1-3 months if you like boys.
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A
female
reader, this_years_love  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 As a young woman who was one a 16-17 year old girl...
GIRLS ARE ASSHOLES!!!!!
not every girl, but certainly the vast majority of teenage girls make it REALLY hard for people to like them.
I am embarassed and ashamed of who i was at that age, so for you to say you can't be attracted to somebody that age is not surprising.
University will bring a lot of change more than likely.
Stop stressing,
If you're straight, that's fine
If you are gay, that's fine too!
there is NOTHING wrong with either!!!
I can't tell you for sure because only you will truly know that, but it sounds to me like you're a straight young teenage boy who isn't attracted to young girls because they are immature, needy, whiney, manipulative, rude, inconsiderate...bitches...who are damn near impossible to be attracted to on a deeper than physical level.
and the majority of the population would agree with that statement! you are not alone!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 March 2010):
 One of the problems with being your age is that the really attractive girls can be shallow. You need to branch out a bit. Find a girl who has shared interests with you. Forget about her spotty face or few spare pounds. Get to know her personally. Look at the girls who are in the same sports, clubs or elective classes as you. I could go on for hours on the benefits of this approach, but there is one more important thing to talk about.
People are not all the same and cannot be pigeonholed into neat categories like gay or straight. The truth is more like a sliding scale. Attributes like masculinity vs. femininity or dominant vs. submissive are usually best described in percentages. Like 90% dominant would be a strong leader. Same can be said for gay vs. straight. That is not why I bring this up, but you need to understand the concept of non absoluteness.
Some people make relationship connections more readily than others. Some people feel emotions with more intensity than others. Some have more need for close relationships than others. It appears that you don't make relations easily. That could be related to your ability to feel emotions, or your needs for attachment.
This is neither good nor bad it is just the way you are. If you strongly desire a relationship now, but seem to be unable, you will have to put more work into it. You will also need to realize that others are feeling stronger than you are and be careful of their feelings. This is where I vary from Polaroid 93. I agree that you are meeting the wrong girls, I don't think it is because you can only be physically attracted. I see that you are looking for more. Shallow guys are only interested in how good a girl will make them look.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): You're not gay, just immature. Sorry. You're physically attracted to them, but haven't met anyone who really makes you want to REALLY be with them. You will in time. Just remember that looks, though important, are only part of what you need in a romantic partner. Sometimes, you might not be attracted to someone at first, then fall for them cos of their personality and then realise you fancy them physically as well. Relax. It'll happen. Just try not to just go for girls simply because they're hotties.
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93  +, writes (3 March 2010):
Maybe, and I don't mean this in a rude way, your just really shallow, you can only be physicaly attracted. Or you hang around/date boring girls.
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