A
male
age
30-35,
*animal20
writes:Ive been going out with this girl for 7 months now, weve been friends since high school and hung out with the same friends for the past 3 years, we started dating 7 months ago, our relationship is pretty strong because she wanted to be taken by a man that didnt control her and be taken by her. The past 2 years i was with a girl that ended up cheating on me, so now i keep my eye open and i let my current girlfriend know that i will call her out on things that sound fishey. we recently had an argument about a guy she was talking to before we dated that happend to be one of her friends, when i asked her out she totally let him go without a call or a text message. Ever since hes been trying to get at her, long story short, she had a party at her house, i told her i wasnt tripping about this guy, but he showed that he still has feelings for her and i had to drill it in her brain that this guy makes me feel uncomfortable, i told her that i dont mind them hanging out and i even had a talk with this guy and told him to back off with things. She only hangs out with him about twice a week at most, sometimes even none. My girlfriend is the type of person that doesnt tell me the things she does. I was hanging out with her today and her mom called, and i wasnt really paying attention to the conversation cuz i couldnt hear them, after she hung up she asked me if i heard any of it, and i replied no, later i was joking around and said i knew what her mom was saying. She played my game and said "well if you knew what she was telling me you would get mad" i told her that i dont care about it anymore and we resolved this issue with you being able to do what you want to do and with me doing watever i want to do. I just want her to tell me what it is that she is doing, but at the same time i dont want to be nosey about it, and i dont want to start a problem because we solved it already, i just want to know what the thing is that shes doing, but not to be nosey about it and not to get her mad at me, mind you i took her V-Card and i was the only person she went down on, and she really cares about me, im just the type of person that wants to know what the hell shes doing, you know? So please help me out with this guys...
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male
reader, Danimal20 +, writes (12 March 2010):
Danimal20 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey man thank you so much, that opened up my eyes quite a bit, i do love her so much, and i have been hurt before, and i am in the process of changing my questioning with her just so i can still have her in my life, i dont want something as stupid as this to be the end of things, i see wat your saying, im letting her do watever she wants to do and im not going to be nosy at all, im not even going to question her about anything, i just hope one day she doesnt do the same thing to me my ex did... it hurt way to much and i dont want to have that happen again, i have a hard time trusting people, but all i can do is just wait and see how things will turn out and if she can be trusted, i do trust her, but wat i mean to say is that im going to have to wait and see if shes going to loose my trust by some reason. Thank you so much again guys, this site is awsome, you guys are the best, if you have any questions for me let me know ok?
A
male
reader, Danimal20 +, writes (11 March 2010):
Danimal20 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much guys i really appreciate you guys taking the time to answer my questions, yeah i trust her, and its just something that annoyes me when she doesnt tell me wat shes doing, its kinda like a pet peeve, but i do trust her and i just gotta let it go then, thanks guys!
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Yourve only been dating for 7 months and although you have been cheated on in the past that shouldnt affect your relationship with your girlfriend.if you dont have trust for someone the relationship will never work and you dont have the right to know what she is up to really she leads her own life and will make her own decisions you cant stop someone from cheating on you by trying to find out what they are up to all of the time if you are constantly trying to find out what your partner is up to shel get put off and probably will be pushed towards another bloke because ina way she will feel controlled i know its hard to find trust in someone when you have been hurt in the past but you just have to trust her and back off act uninterested because your getting more anxious about what shes up to she knows your feeling that way and is working on that by bringing up the conversation with her mum which she knew u cudnt have heard.seems to me that your girlfriend doesnt want to feel tied down having to tell you where she is whos shes with and what shes up to all of the time but if you try the not bothered approach and dont react to anything and kind of distance yourself in a way then she might show more interest in you because your giving her the freedom she wants.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 March 2010):
 You need to decide if you trust her , or if you want to be controlling. She is testing her boundaries. Real relationships are built on trust. She has to be able to set her own boundaries, that you can accept, then you need to trust her to keep them.
FA
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