A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a man online. He has a great job and works in other countries alot. We have been emailing on and off for two months now. We h ave only spoken on the phone a few times because it is $4.00 a minute. We have been emailing alot recently and discussing getting together the next time he is home. I expressed to him today how important phone calls, are that emails can easily be misconstrued. He said he finds it just as easy to email but will call me alot when he gets home in 10 days.. At the moment, he is on the other side of the world from me. Am I expecting too much wanting him to call me when it is that expensive? Or is he sitting there with a women and cannot call but only email??Please help me out. Thanks so much! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): men are by nature simple and may not prefer to call often. it is ok. it does not mean much. so enjoy. i know some of the husbands who give missed call to his wife to call back
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (8 March 2010):
The truth is, you can't expect an exclusive relationship with someone unless you are living with them. Your online flirtations even if you discuss marriage are just talk unless you actually meet and thereafter agree to be exclusive. So don't expect a guy to be faithful to you if you have never met him. Just enjoy what you are able to have for now and always be a pleasure to talk to. Don't start being a nag now. Just be lighthearted and don't believe any big promises until he actually takes the right step forward. The problem with email is that he could be in the next town and lying that he is in China. So don't buy into it all until you actually meet. In the mean time just download Skype which can be used free with or without a webcam. Or since you are in the states just go to a convenience store run by a foreign looking person and ask them which phone card has the best minutes for the continent you want to phone. When I lived in the states I remember I used to buy a card for $5 that used to last 2 hours 35 minutes to call Africa on landline. Calling a cellphone it would last 10 minutes. So you can call him for now until he goes back to the states. But don't call every minute unexpectedly. Prearrange it by email (eg. I will call at 9pm etc) and end the calls before he does. Expecting him to talk on the phone for hours is another type of clingy behavior. I would also google around to find out where the heck are calls charged at $4 per minute. The only phones I am aware of that MAY charge this much are special satelite phones like the military uses that don't need cellular network. In my country to call a cellphone in America (which is a 16 hour flight away) is 60c per minute. But I could be wrong and just ignorant. I would google and check eg. "Cost of phone call from China to California". $4 sounds fabricated. I travel quite a bit and phone my kids at home but have never been charged $4 per minute anywhere (called from USA, UK, Europe, Scandinavia, United Arab Emirates, China). The only reason I'm saying you should check is that he may not be where he says he is and could be in the next street and you will be none the wiser. Just my $0.02.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 If he cannot call because a woman is sitting besides him , he would not be able to e-mail too!
He is probably not calling because of the prohibitive cost. He is the prudent type and would not want to waste money on calls. He felt it was easier and cheaper to e-mail.
Maybe you can use Skype and it won't cost anything.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 March 2010):
 I'm guessing that you didn't write the title line. You asked if you are asking too much. No online relationships are full of danger. You need evidence to feel comfortable with him. He isn't going to be able to pay $120 for a half hour chat that you need, so you will have to wait until he is home. Of course then you will need that long conversation before you meet him in a neutral location that you both feel is safe. You are suspicious of him, and you should be. You don't know him that well. You are worried about another woman, that is only one of the things he could be hiding from you. There is a common scam going around, where he will ask you for money to fly home. Don't send any money period. You are on the right track, keep playing it safe.
FA
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