A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysApart from complete immaturity, why do guys act like complete idiots in front of mates? Was seeing a guy only been out a few times, saw him he was out with his mates. He was a total moron!!!! his mates spoke and were funny, he spent the night ignoring me saying he couldnt wait to go somewhere else, then expects a kiss when i left then text!!!! he is not very young so cant use that excuse! any views?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone!
thanks for your input! i seem to have got some backs up and i didn't mean i want to control him or stop him from having a laugh or whatever with his friends!! i just thought instead of him stood ignoring me the entire night he may of said a couple of words, i didnt wanna intrude in the 'lads' night thats why i left him to it. I just thought a friendly how are you, have a good night would of been nice!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): Hey! I like the anon answer. I've been there too!But to answer your question, you need to explain if this was a one shot deal. Does he just act like a so called nitwit around his friends or anyone but you?Maybe he is just being his real self and you are seeing a part of him that he keeps repressed. If you want this relationship to last, you had better be prepared to accept this other side of him. A side where he feels comfortable and that he is not being judged or controlled.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): Not all guys act like complete morons around their friends. Some guys act like themselves around their friends because their pent up, anally repressed girlfriends have them pussy whipped into acting like women. Some girlfriends are so controlling that they insist on going out with their boyfriends to hang out with his friends too, expecting that the commradery she witnesses will be just like hanging out with girlfriends.
Maybe he might have a few choice words to report back to this forum if he were to hang around with you and a group of your friends, watching you all talk on top of each other at full volume, laughing and cackling like chickens, all the while gossiping about relationships and all of that pointless crap and of course not including him in any of the pointless conversations. Yup... I've been there...
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Sounds like embarrassment, the same thing I feel when my parents see me and my friends hanging out. I have to carry a certain image for my folks, and relax and swear with my friends. Doesn't sound like he's a moron or a jerk, just means that he can't relax and act like an idiot with a woman he cares about around.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 There you go again assuming you know whether he was hinting or not. Of course I wasn't there so I don't know either. But, I'm pretty sure he is soon gone from your life.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi ok sorry for the moron, idiot bit, i just thought he was! i didn't say this to him so don't worry!! I was sat with my friends and they all came and joined us. They were heading somewhere after, he was not hinting to go with me he was wanting his mates to leave!
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 lol Guys with their mates can be incredibly different from when they're with you. Sometimes, they simply feel like showing-off a little in front of friends, showing that they're such hot stuff, they don't let their brains be addled by a girl. Sometimes, they don't even realize they're being moronic, immature etc. Guys are often more comfortable with other guys so they don't take the time to consider the feelings of girlfriends or dates because let's face it, guys do not think at all when together...they share a single brain lol jk guys.
My best guy friend was like that and usually, I just played his game. I ignored him too and talked to the people who were talking to me and I had my own fun joking around. Eventually, I told him how I felt about his behavior though, and he was genuingly surprised. His answer, "Really?? Oh wow." So when we hang out, I sometimes bring a girlfriend too, and let him have his "guy time." This guy's behavior may be a one time thing-or not. If he continues that way, move on. It seems that you're more mature than he is and well, he just might drive you insane in the end. If you feel like you like him though, talk to him about it. Don't be confronting though.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (1 March 2010):
This question is a bit surprising from a woman of your age. You have had 10 years of dealing with men and still you don't understand that they think in fundamentally different ways than women do. As long as you continue to expect men to be thinking the same way you are you will continue to be disappointed.
Let me give you my interpretation of the night. He was out with his friends when you joined in. He hinted that he would rather be somewhere else with you alone. You payed more attention to his friends than you did to him. He hinted again. He began to get surly, but stayed the course because you seemed to be having fun and were unwilling to leave his friends. At the end of the night he felt he deserved a reward for not going where he wanted to go and letting you flirt with his friends. At this point you told him off. As a last ditch attempt he tried to text you to0 see what he did wrong.
At this point he is pretty sure you have broken up with him, and he is wondering which one of his "friends" stole you away from him.
I could be wrong, but that is a possible interpretation based on what you have told us. He is no better at understanding women than you are at understanding men. Both of you have suffered a communication breakdown. Calling him names like Completely immature, a complete idiot , and a moron, will not help you to communicate effectively with him. If you honestly feel that way about all men you will have very limited success getting along with any man. Your best bet would be to find a guy who grew up with six sisters.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 March 2010):
I'm afraid it's male bonding. A lot of men act this way with friends. The only way men can bond is by doing things, which means making jokes, and generally acting like idiots again. Sorry about that. Don't take it personally, he was just out on a night with the 'lads' and as such was an idiot. He also may have been a bit nervous about having you near his friends, especially if you haven't been formally introduced. Keep getting to know him over more time and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): i think its a man thing they try and look like ther cool as they say.
when i first meet my bf he was lovely until i went out with him and his mates he was a total u know what but i told him how i felt and if he didnay change i would no longer wanna be with him and know 5 years later and a baby boys he is the man i have always wanted just talk to him and if he likes you he will change :)
Hope i helped but it is just a boy thing :)
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