A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts,I have a question i would like to ask you all,as i can't seem to make any sense of it. I have been having a affair with a married man for quite some time,years actually,so please if any of you are going to preach to me that i'm doing wrong please don't answer me,that is not what i need to know.What i would like your insight on is why would this man keep wanting me to go to functions where his wife and family (all adults)are going to be attending also,he has often asked me to go and on one or two occasions i have as he gets very upset with me if i don't turn up.he has even had his wife pick me up and drop me home.I do know her casually,but this time i have said NO,he keeps asking me why and tells me Yes you are coming I what you there,if you don't turn up i will be very upset.I can't seem to make him understand that i find the whole thing uncomfortable,yet he seem's to think it's all ok.Why would a married man want his wife and lover in the same place at the same time,let alone get her to call and pick me up and drop me home.She know's we are friends but has no idea how friendly we are.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 It is difficult to determine why like him (and you)behave the way they do. It's a dirty game so there are no rules. There are two people doing creepy things and the only one who deserves an explination is the wife. He told his wife to pick you up. That is rotten. You got in the car. That is rotten. Take note of what you're involved in, learn from it. accept the life lesson and don't waste your life trying to figure out what makes him tick. Move on to a situation where drama isn't the main ingredient.
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (21 July 2012):
It is difficult to determine why like him (and you)behave the way they do. It's a dirty game so there are no rules. There are two people doing creepy things and the only one who deserves an explination is the wife. He told his wife to pick you up. That is rotten. You got in the car. That is rotten. Take note of what you're involved in, learn from it. accept the life lesson and don't waste your life trying to figure out what makes him tick. Move on to a situation where drama isn't the main ingredient.
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A
female
reader, demeplev  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 What a douchebag!!! Wants to parade you his mistress in front of his unkowning family, creep....Loose him fast, your being humiliated and dont even realize it, so sorry you got tangled in the mess, save yourself!!!
goodluck, peace and love!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 I agree with Cerebus's take on this situation, I also find his practice of having his wife pick you up and take you to these functions an insult to both women.
She is his wife, who knows nothing, and you are uncomfortable with this but does he care about either of you? Rhetorical question, as we know he does not!
Stick to your guns, and keep your affair where you want it kept, away from the eyes of his wife and friends.
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A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (21 July 2012):
 I would have to agree with pinktopaz, you need to ask him straight up. But, since Cerberus brought up those points, be careful because you might not want to know the answer. Are you prepared to leave the relationship? Would you stay no matter what? Is he worth it??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2012): Sounds to me like he wants to shove you in his wife's face as big "fuck you!" without her knowing. He honestly sounds like he's a spiteful douche OP especially the way he gets so insistent and upset that you won't play his sick little game of James Bond.
Says a lot about what he thinks of both of you if you ask me. While cheating is never right you have to ask yourself what kind of man would insist in parading his mistress like a cheap dirty little secret in front of the woman who is losing out the most in the whole deal. I mean I can at least have some respect for a guy who goes out of his way to be discreet about it because at least he's kind of trying to protect his partners feelings. Instead this guy wants to use you as some kind of ego stroke and a cheap tart he can look at talking to his wife and think to himself "hahaha I'm boning them both and she has no clue, I'm the man and they're my bitches."
How can you comfortable being used in that kind of way? That's degrading isn't it? I mean you're already a mistress here and I'm not having a go at you here but we both know that makes you low in the hierarchy of this triangle. You're the least likely out of everyone involved to come out on top here and this guy then wants to degrade you even lower to the level of being a tool to fulfil some kind of ego power trip to get his rocks off like some kind of secret agent because apparently having bit on the side isn't enough of a thrill anymore?
Stick to your principles here OP, you're already in a vulnerable position here and he already holds all the power, don't let that slide any further, you deserve more respect than that.
This feels wrong for a reason OP and you know in your heart his reasons for wanting you to do this are not in any way good. I feel you've come here hoping maybe someone can tell you something good about what he wants you to do because you really can't see any good in it, well OP that's because it's downright insulting and degrading to you. Simple as that.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (21 July 2012):
I think you should ask him because it is weird and I can't make any sense of it either.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 Hi
What a weirdo he is, I guess its an ego thing, his 2 women in one place. Tell him if he wants you at functions then he is going to have to marry you and you will then go as his partner.
Tough if he gets upset if you dont go, seems to me he thinks its quite 'normal' to be seeing you,you have been around for so long your just part of his everyday life now. You have accepted the whole situation so it will never change until you stop it.I just feel deeply sorry for his wife.
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