A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Over my last break up but no longer want anything serious as its not the right time in my life. Is wanting something casual a bad thing? Like a sort of friends with benefit thing? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): "Casual" can mean many things, none of which I find are bad. There's nothing wrong with flirting or sex for fun. The main "problem" with them are that most people connect many other stereotypes to them (which means, yes, they will judge). As long as you are safe and smart, you should not have a problem. Just remember that the guy that you're casually dating might have different definitions of "casual" and "serious" and it's just as important that you respect these as it would be if you were completely serious about him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): It depends on what kind of casual thing OP. Just sex, casual dating, FWB's and it also depends on what hole you want filled, your vagina or your emotional hole and just want some closeness with no commitment.
OP lots of women can do the casual sex thing but only temporarily, in my experience of having a good few of them 6 weeks is tops before they start needing you or wanting a relationship or before he does even.
OP casual dating is dating, as others have said. You say you want to be casual because you don't want a relationship well then that sounds to me like you want to date but not get hurt. It sounds like it's a bit of a need.
Fuck buddies only really works for women who don't even want a man but just found a guy by chance to have sex with and do. It works when they don't even want to be with that guy, don't care if they ever see him again and can take it or leave it. Anything else and you're playing with fire. If you're doing so because you feel lonely and need a man but just not a relationship then that's going to be trouble, you'll either end up using a guy or feeling used by a guy when you figure out he wants nothing but your pussy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 March 2013):
 Casual dating is not FWB like chigirl said.
The problem for most women who want casual sex is that once they have sex (and the romance that goes with it) they tend to fall for the guy... and then get hurt.
Guys seem to be able just do the deed and walk away... most women can't do that... they imagine that the FWB will fall in love with them and want more.. it rarely happens.
FWB means you are friends who have sex... but you eventually turn into people that USED to be friends that JUST have sex... and it's painful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): Don't do it. I spent many years of relationships like that and looking back realised the person I was afraid of getting involved with was actually myself! Develop hobbies, interests and enjoy the freedom of single life to the full. Just because we now live in a society where you can dial up sex, doesn't mean you have to choose a path that can be very very damaging.
Not wanting anything serious, can lead to not wanting commitment, and that in turn can lead to being unable to commit....deal with the emotional reasons you feel the way you do at the moment, recover, protect yourself a little and move on looking forward to a happy healthy future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013): I heard it could be bad for you emotionally. Like you will have sex and then feel empty and lonely afterwards. You also run the risk of getting attached to the person and it can play with your emotions. Sex is powerful.My advice would be to spend more time with family and friends. Or maybe make some new friends. Join a club with activities you like to do. Start a new hobby. Casual sex just isn't good for you emotionally or physically. Even with a condom you still run the risk of an STD. I know Hollywood movies make casual sex sound good but that doesn't mean it will be good in reality. If your still dead set on doing it then use condoms, birth control and be very careful about the partners you choose.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 March 2013):
 Btw, I've casually dates so I know what you mean and how this works. A good tip is to go for guys who are only staying temporarily, like on holiday or for study. Then you know they will leave and you both know it will not be anything serious, just fun.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (21 March 2013):
Casual dating is NOT friends with benefits. Avoid sleeping with any of your friends, unless you want to no longer be their friend. Friends + sex = no longer friends. But you can do casual dating, and it's not a bad thing at all. You just go along with the flow, and avoid the guys who obviously want something serious. But most people you age do not want anything serious. You can either go on dates and not go longer than kisses, or you can decide to have one night stands. You can also meet someone, and decide to be lovers/casually date exclusively. I say exclusively because of health reasons, you don't want to sleep with someone if he's out there sleeping with others as he might pass something on to you. At least if he does, and you do, ALWAYS use protection, even for oral sex. If you do decide to take a lover and casually "date" him, don't see him too often. Guys fall in love too you know, and in order to keep things casual you need to not meet up too often. No more than every other week I'd say, and if he wants to meet up more often you should take a step back as he might be looking for more. Just go out, have fun, and don't think too hard about things. If someone wants to get serious you'll know pretty fast, and can tell them you're not interested. Only you decide how you want things to be, if you want someone steady for casual dating, or if you'd like to meet someone new every week, or if you want only one guy at a time or several. But like I said, use protection and stay safe. Don't get involved with drama, just be upfront about what you want. If someone judges you then never mind them, there will always be someone to judge no matter what it is you do. You only have to answer to yourself, so if you think this or that is something you want, then go for it.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (21 March 2013):
 No it's not bad, but some people will judge you so watch out.
Always be careful and use a condom!
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