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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I was in a relationship 1year back but that guy ditched me very badly. We once tried to have sex. That time he didnt enter me compltely but I was having some pain when he started entring me therefore I ask him to stop and remove from inside me. Then I never think of having sex again as I am now very much afraid of the pain. Now I am going to marry some other guy but I am confused if I am virgin or not? Because that guy didnt enter inside me fully. Will my future husband got to know that I tried to have sex before with some other guy? Please help reply Reply to this Question
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male
reader, aresu  +, writes (20 March 2013):
 No, you are not a virgin
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Btw, @ Ilifton: "what if the guy was only three inches (small, i know) and wasn't long enough to even break your hymen during intercourse?"The hymen isn't that far in. And a 3.5 inches long penis is an average penis size. In case you didn't know. A 3 inch penis can very much "break" a hymen (I dislike the work break, you're not breaking anything, the hymen doesn't even fully cover the opening as how else would you menstruate if there was a block...)
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 March 2013):
You're not a virgin. You had sex, whether he completely entered you or not is not so relevant. You were naked in bed with another man and his penis was pushing into your vagina. How far he got doesn't matter, you're not a virgin. That said, it doesn't mean your next time will not be painful too. If you aren't used to having sex it can be painful still, as you're not relaxed/used to it. Even if he had pushed far inside you and you had sex for several minutes, it's been a good while ago, and the next time could still hurt. Then again, sex might not hurt at all if the conditions are right (being turned on, being relaxed and comfortable).If you want to be honest with your future husband you should tell him that you had sex only once, and that you interrupted it halfway through as it hurt and you didn't want to continue. If you don't tell him he wont find out that you've had sex before, it doesn't show in any way.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 well in reality, i don't believe there's a certain inch rule that technically constitutes it as being sex or not. like if it was three inches or less, you're still a virgin, but over three inches, you had sex! ha, sounds rather absurd if you ask me. the guy had his penis in you. end of story. i mean, think about this: what if the guy was only three inches (small, i know) and wasn't long enough to even break your hymen during intercourse? this wouldn't count as sex? no, it was definitely still sex, it just couldn't break the hymen. but it makes it no more or less the act.
in my personal opinion, you had sex. the intent was there, and the attempt was made. you had him inside and intend to do it. there's just no evidence to proove it (hymen still intact).
since the hymen being broken is the only way people have to judge if you're still a virgin or not, then you're in the clear. in other words, you can still technically keep this from your husband if you so choose. and that's completely up to you one way or the other. but if being with a virgin is dire to him, he may wish to know that another man did have his penis inside you.
me personally? i could care less. you have nothing to be ashamed of either way.
hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (19 March 2013):
Let's just say "Yes, you are a virgin" since it will make your life easier and it doesn't matter either way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): A penis entering your vagina means you're no longer a virgin (unless your hymen is still intact). Theres no way your husband to be would know. And I don't think it should matter anyway, as he is probably not a virgin himself :)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 March 2013):
 IF he entered you at all, then TECHNICALLY you are not a virgin.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): Are a virgin?
Technically no, you've stated that you had penetrative intercourse with this man. I don't believe there's a certain number of inches that disqualifies him.
Will a future husband know?
No.
All that said, I don't think the loss of your technical virginity means very much and it's a bit medieval to argue that this "fumble" implies that you have changed in anyway beyond what appears to now be a fear of sex....This is why I hate the whole virginity concept that people use to judge themselves, but that's an answer for someone else's question...
I would try not to let an action that took place over a year ago determine your outlook on marriage or your worth. When you're ready, you can be honest with other partners about this event and if they're worth your time, they should be understanding about it, not judge you for it.
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female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 he wont know because you stopped the guy.it wasnt full penetration so youre very much a virgin i guess
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Yes you're still a virgin, he was just pressing against you. You didn't have sex. No, a future husband would not know that happened.
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