A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fiance have openly discussed how we share the fantasy of a threesome and its always been known that my friend has a fantasy about my fiance So me, my fiance, my friend and my fiances sister were drinking one night having a good time. My fiance always seems to get a bit sexual when she's drinking so things escalate and I jokingly tell my fiance that we should have a foursome, well she takes it seriously and yells out an open invite at which her sister denies and goes to a different room.Well my friend, not knowing what to do(he's pretty shy and was also trying to figure out if it was a joke or not) so I took his hand and guided it to my fiances body(it was dark) but anyway things escolated and we went to the bedroom and did the deed...Well its been 5 days now and my friend hasn't came by to chill or hasnt returned my text.. So what's wrong with him? Did we intimidate him? I mean he enjoyed it so what the problem? I thought I was doing him a favor by fulfilling one of his fantasies...Also...how do I ask my fiance about bringing another woman into the room without sounding like an ass... I mean it seems fair to me...**Just to clarify- this same question was rejected yesterday because "you should never force people to have sex while they are intoxicated, NO means NO" something to that nature...my friend never said he didn't want to...in all actuality he probably wanted it more than I did...it just took me to spark things off...Sorry this took so long to read
View related questions:
fiance, shy, spark, text, threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWowzers, and silly me thought this was an advice page... First off...HE DID WANT IT...he has tried to hook up with her multiple times behind my back so I just figured atleast this way its in my control and perhaps get it out of his system...And I didn't offer my fiance up like a treat, we both have a fantasy of a threesome so it only makes senseAnd after having to retype this I've now realize what was left out... Afterwards that night my friend asked me if I was mad and I told him "no, me and (fiance) were totally okay with it" and that if he wanted to pretend it didn't happen then that's okay with me.But anyway I've never really had rude agony aunts before, usually they're pretty understanding, but its fine I get it
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 --- Where to start? There's so many things wrong with this. You have a friend, who's got a crush on your fiancée. Highly inappropriate, but okay. Except for the part where you think this is some hilarious joke and you should just play with your friend because of this. So, rather than have the appropriate distance between him and your fiancée, you have him hump her. Oh yeah.. I bet that fulfills his fantasy, fencing in bed with his best mate and a girl he can never have.
Sounds more like group pressure and alcohol to me than anything else. If you were a good friend and if you wanted to do your friend any "favours" I'd say you should keep him away from your fiancèe so he could get over her. And, if you respected you fiancée you wouldn't offer her up like some treat to be served for "favours". But apparently, your fiancee is okay with you pimping her out.
"Well its been 5 days now and my friend hasn't came by to chill or hasnt returned my text.. "
Because he's embarrassed out of his brains. Leave him alone. You might have ruined your friendship as friends don't have sex with each other, but then again perhaps you're going to be the exception and things will return to normal in a while. You'll just have to wait and see.
I don't think you will have a problem bringing another female into the room, sounds like your fiancée is about as interested in swinging as you are, so just ask her. You already said you've openly discussed this, so I don't know what the problem is with just asking her? But next time, please, don't do it while drunk. At least have a proper talk about this beforehand where you know ALL agree to what is about to happen and all are comfortable about it. And, try to stay away from inviting your closest friends into the bedroom, friends aren't friends after sex becomes part of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 I'm not surprised he feels awkward after what's happened. He might have been up for it at the time but that doesn't mean he won't have regrets. I think you need to give him time, maybe he will come round maybe he won't. If he chooses to end your friendship then that is unfortunate but it's his decision and you can't really blame him under the circumstances.
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (16 March 2013):
He “probably wanted it?” Well you don’t sound certain. Perhaps he wasn’t either. Maybe you all had too much to drink and should have kept the fantasy in your head. Maybe he thought he’d go along with it to get the fantasy fulfilled and, in the end, expectation and reality didn’t match and he regrets or feels bad about it. When people sexually experiment like this, they cross all kinds of lines and open up all kinds of cans of worms. Congratulations: in one moment of alcohol-fuelled stupidity, you’ve all managed to:
1) Damage a friendship.
2) Open up a conversation about further experimentation (with another woman) and therefore opened up the possibility that you and your fiancé will disagree and resent each other for your boundaries.
3) Probably horrified the sister who seems to have been the only responsible one amongst you.
4) Acted based on your fiancé’s desire when drunk-do you know she’d have agreed if sober or is she now eaten up with regret? You seem so concerned for your friend but what about her?
Good luck trying to save a friendship and a relationship out of the mess you’ve all created for yourselves. The only advice is be careful what you wish for.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
|
