A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(Btw, I'm in a relationship and I'm happy with my relationship, it's great, and I'm confident and comfortable with my body most days, but some days I'm not)Now that I've got that out of the way...Sometimes I feel confident, but other times, usually when I want to feel feminine or sexy, I look at myself and think "Wow... This body in front of me is pretty much androgynous. I can totally pass for a slightly feminine guy! That's not sexy at all!" And it makes me upset.I've talked to my boyfriend about my breasts before, and he says he likes them, but, well... I don't. I don't feel very sexy. I feel like a cereal box. Flat and square and not how a woman is supposed to look.(I guess I feel like a prepubescent girl a little...)I don't want to get implants, and I know eventually I'll be fine with my almost completely flat breasts after a while, but I just would like something to get me through those times when I can't just smile and say "I'm beautiful no matter what" And reassure myself. Because some days I just don't feel like I'd be telling myself the truth if I said that...So help?(Sorry if this was confusing.... I don't know how to talk to people on the internet about this...)
View related questions:
breasts, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): don' t implant, as long as the height dimension of the breast about half inch, it would be most beautiful and sexy turning on!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 April 2013):
 Oh yeah. Get a good bra. I was fine with my boobs, until I discovered I was wearing the wrong size. Then when I got a bra that was the right size I just couldn't stop looking at my boobs in admiration. It was amazing.
Get a good bra. Get someone in a good store to pick out the right bra for you, as you probably are wearing the wrong size. I thought I was a B-cup. Turns out I'm a D-cup.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2013):
 when I had a mastopexy nearly two years ago I ended up with cute perky 34B breasts. SCANT B cups. Now I've gained some weight (mostly in my boobs) and I'm a 38 FULL C. I miss being small and perky...
I tell you this because just like women with curly hair want straight hair and those with straight hair want curls... big breasted girls often want to be members of the itty bitty titty committee and those with little breasts want more.
NO ONE is every happy as they are.
I can suggest that you wear GOOD bras. Bras with a bit of padding and some serious push up abilities. My plastic surgeon explained to me that bras make the cleavage not the breasts.
I saw an article about a male model who models as a woman and without implants has breasts due to the type of bra he wears...
here it is... the pictures... I swear I can't tell he's a guy...
http://abcnews.go.com/US/male-lingerie-model-turns-heads-push-bra/story?id=15154407#.UV7rDzciFm4
As you age (and perhaps have babies) your body will change... at 18-21 you don't have those womanly curves yet... (and that's actually good in that when you get to be my age you hopefully won't battle the bulge like I do)
There are days I sing "I feel pretty oh so pretty..." and I mean it... other days I feel like I should just stay home with a bag on my head.
Hugs to you OP as you navigate this hard situation. I'm glad your goal is to learn to love you as you are.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): I absolutely love small breasts, even just a woman with nothing but nipples.
The only advice I can give you OP seeing as you ladies find comparison with other women so important is this:
Find women with your body type to idolise and compare yourself with. Keira Knightly, Mena Suvari, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Jennifer Lopez. I could go on OP. But the vast majority of serious actresses/celebs who are very successful are small to medium breasted. Most supermodels are as flat as pancakes too.
OP the most beautiful, respected and desired women in the world don't have big boobs. No offence to big boobed ladies but it's true. The sad fact is OP, big boobed women are defined solely by the size of their chest.
Pamela Anderson, Katy Perry, Nikki Minaj etc. are just walking pairs of breasts to most people and they work very hard to play on that too, showing them off every chance they get. OP big boobed women are lucky if they get their 30's out of the way without extreme sag, stretchmarks and back problems. Why you would be jealous of a woman whose chest is as much of a nuisance as it is fun to have.
My fiancée loves having small boobs. She doesn't need a set defined body shape to feel feminine, she has a vagina, that's all you need to feel like a woman. I mean in Asia big breasts are incredibly rare but they're very womanly aren't they?
OP if you can't accept yourself, at least accept that there is nothing masculine about not having big boobs, there is nothing wrong with your body shape, women come in all different sizes and even if you don't feel confident about them or you'd at least like to see what it's like to have big boobs, just accept that it's only a novelty that you're missing out on.
I mean many men feel the same about penis size, but I never had that really and I'm not huge by any measure but my penis is for peeing and pleasure and I'm able to do both. I know women like to say breasts are more noticeable but you haven't pulled down your pants to see a horny smile on a woman's face when she's impressed, I have but it's just a novelty that means nothing. My penis isn't there to impress people with it's beauty. It's function is peeing, reproduction and pleasure. Nothing else. I'm not less of a man because it's not as big as a porn stars just like you're not less of a woman for having small boobs, they're designed to provide milk for any future children and they will grow to accommodate that.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): HI there OP, my girlfriend is the same as you chest wise and I love it :-) I don't go for big boobs although my GF although I really wish my GF would stop thinking im only saying what she wants to hear as I love her amazing body and sure your BF does too!Lots of men go for women with a much more subtle chest! My GFs sister is the opposite and has huge breasts (ive never been attracted to here) and she always moans because men only are interested in her chest not her personality or the rest of her. She always attracts men who are only interested in, as she puts it, "football, boobs, and beer" - laddish blokes who drool over breasts like adolescents.My GF has always attracted a more "sensible" type of guy who likes her physically and mentally :-) And just think: when you get to 30 they wont be polishing your shoes as you walk along LOL
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 April 2013):
Do you know that when you look at yourself in the mirror you don't look at yourself objectively?
Do you also know that when others look at you, they most certainly do not see the same that you see?
I was one of the few "lucky" girls to not ever have been subjected to peer pressure. I never compared myself to other girls either. This comes from me growing up as Schizoid, meaning I didn't care for other humans at all. Not at all. So whatever they thought of me was unimportant. Beauty, sexuality, all things superficial takes on a whole new meaning if you strip away all the emotions normally attached to it. For me, there was no such thing as "sexy". Either I was attracted to someone or I wasn't. If they liked me back then great. If not, who cares.
So when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see if my boobs are small, if my hips are wide, or my legs are thin or any of these things. I'm not blind, I can form an opinion on my look. But, my focus is rather on "this is me". Not "I look too thin, I have small boobs etc".
Try to adopt some of the same thinking, because all of this "small boobs and no hips" etc comes from COMPARING yourself to others. When you look at yourself in a more matter of factual manner, you have nothing to worry about. You have hips, you have breasts. Maybe they're flat, but they're there. You have a chest, two hands, a bum, two legs, one head. Normal. Good to go.
In conclusion, the trick to feel good about yourself is to stop caring about how others see you. How you look is completely irrelevant really. What matters is that the people YOU want to be close to, and who YOU find sexy and who YOU are attracted to, also want to be close to you. Let them worry about their reasons for being attracted to you, and instead focus on why you are attracted to them.
I know my boyfriend loves my body, but I'm not so interested in knowing why he loves it. I'm too busy exploring his body and enjoying everything about him. So, take the focus away from yourself, and use your eyes to take in and enjoy the beauty of others.
If that doesn't work, well, you'll get more used to yourself over time and learn to accept who you are. Almost all teenagers are concerned about their appearance, you're definitely not the only one. But they all manage to go on with their lives and so will you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): I dont imagine many people feel absolutely fine with their bodies 100% of the time. Not even the most beautiful models...many of whom dont have large breasts either but we still find them amazing to look at! Maybe pop a sticker on your mirror that reminds you of the good days you have and read it when you feel less than feminine because of your boobs. And for what its worth. I too had a small bust when i was your age. A few children later and i am an unruly F cup! I much preferred being smaller and pert. So try and be happy with YOU and your neat bust because who knows what you too may end up with. All the best x
...............................
|
