A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I'm 15 years old and I was thinking about the future. I'm not planning to have sex anytime soon, but when I am ready, I wanna make sure I'm being safe. I was wondering if it would be weird if I make my future partner have an STD check before we have sex? I mean, if that was you, would you feel offended? I wouldn't be accusing him of having an STD, just if he was sexually active before, I just wanna be safe.Thanks :) x
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 April 2013):
 Totally appropriate to ask for a STD test. In fact it shows responsibility and that you care for your health AND his.
Any responsible person should ask for a test. I always ask my partners if they have been tested since their last partner. I started asking this because my first ever boyfriend and I used to have sex without a condom (I was on birth control). Then after a few months it was revealed that he had never wore a condom in his life, and had never been tested, and had had more sex partners than he could remember!
Ever since that episode I always ask. No one has been offended so far.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank-you for all the advice, it was very helpful and I really appreciate you all taking the time out of your day to provide me with your wisdom and knowledge.
I will most definitely wait several months before considering having sex with whoever my boyfriend at the time will be.
JustHelpinAgain, the sex education in my school was pretty crap. We covered the sexual reproductive organs and learnt how to put on a condom, haha.
Again, thank you all and I have really taken into consideration your advice and will use it to it's full potential when the time comes.
:) x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2013): You've gotten great advice, the only thing I'll add is that you too should have an STD when you have a boyfriend and are ready for sex.
You can catch STD's orally too and diseases like hepatitis, HIV and others can be transmitted other ways too and plenty of virgins can have those.
Plus OP it's only being polite to say you'll go in together and both get tested.
OP if you're going to ensure safety then you need to see the blood work yourself, you need to see it in writing from a doctor that he's clean and disease free otherwise he could just bullshit you and say he is.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (7 April 2013):
You are smart to ask such questions and have good advice already and as others have said if you do some searching on DC you will get a lot of info. If you are in the UK, as it appears, you have a problem that the sexual health education in schools is pretty useless, hence the UK having just about the worse teenage unwanted pregnancy, disease, etc, statistics in the developed world. The problem for you is that this means that most guys done know, understand, or care about, sexual health. You need to be completely confident in what you want and stick to it. Guys will try and pressure you not to be careful.And on that topic remember to be careful with your emotional health. EVERY woman I know (that I have talked about sex with) has said that they wish they had been older and wiser before they got sexually involved. Usually young women are looking for love and relationships whilst young guys just want sex. Often the chase is more fun than keeping a girlfriend and some guys can be pretty convincing in their declaration of love until they have got what they want and leave for the next girl. The right guy will respect and understand your wishes and you should be able to talk very openly about sex and health and make sure that trust and caring are there. Sex is not without risk of the unexpected happening, as you can read about on DC, the 9 month rule others have suggested is a great idea, but in reality maybe it's hard to wait that long, but certainly get to know each other very well first!
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (7 April 2013):
 That is EXCELLENT advice from iAmHereToHelpYou, OP!
And no, you certainly don't want to give your virginity - or indeed have any sex with anyone who wants you only for your body - and young guys, especially, can and do tend to say anything to persuade you they "love" you.
Better to wait until you've been dating someone for several months and noticed whether he pressures you either by asking for it, or by trying to feel you up. If he respects your desire to wait, then you can be more certain he's on the up and up. And yes, by all means ask him to get tested.
If he has nothing to hide, he should not object, or be offended by your request. Finally, get on the pill - the last thing you need is to become pregnant!
All the best.
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