A
female
age
36-40,
*geless Princess
writes:I am just one year and half in marriage. I actually told my husband that I had 2 kids for different men before we married. But now one of my kids dad has ask me to come and take my son to leave with me because his wife is maltreating my son. I told my husband that I needed to bring one of my son to our house but he refuse. He had to report the issue to his elder brother and his dad and they actually kicked against it. Now he doesnt want my son to come. I also told him that I will bring him but he will stay with my friend but he said no! And secondly, I pay 80% of the house bills such as foodstuff, our daughters fee, his niece's fee and I also take care of myself. He has a cafe. He doesn't give me money for hair,cream or clothes. I am getting tired of all this. Please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2013): My children come before anyone. I can replace my husband, I can never replace my children.
Tell him you are bringing your son and if he doesn't like it, then file for divorce.
Nothing or no one should ever come before your children, even their biological father.
I don't understand why your son's father was letting his wife mistreat your son in the first place.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 March 2013):
 my minor children always came before a spouse that was not their father.
My current husband married me knowing I have an adult child who will require care for life due to emotionally disabilities. We pay child support to my first husband for a child that is older than you. And always will.
Part of marrying a person with children is taking on the responsibilities for these children as well as the new spouse. Your current husband is not doing that.
stop paying for his niece
stop paying for his expenses
if you can I would take your daughter and move out and seek a divorce if you can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013): Why are the kids getting tossed around and put second with either of you??? What are both of you thinking? If his wife is not treating your son appropriately, SHE needs to go, not your son. Second, if your son is in a situation that your husband is not handling appropriately and protecting him, them you need to get him out of there and into your home immediately and if your husband does not like it, he needs to go, not you neglecting your son! He won't allow it? Tough. He either embraces it and helps with the current situation, or he goes. And someone needs to investigate what's going on with his wife.This whole story is really screwed up and the both of you are putting your spouses above you child and that is seriously wrong on so many levels.Damn...these kids didn't ask for this and someone needs to step up and be a responsible parent. Wow.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): I don't know the whole story - I'm not sure why you aren't already living with your children or their age. I wouldn't be with a man who told me my son who needs a home isn't welcome. I would never pick a man over my own son.
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A
female
reader, AntoniaE  +, writes (25 March 2013):
he married you knowing your circumstances, that child is your flesh and blood. any child should come before a man. you may the majority of the bills then there has to be a compromise, do not let him make the decisions. if he still is not happy with that then tell him if it was the other way round then his child wouldnt have a second thought about it. this is an innocent child caught between adults playing havok with their life. if your husband will not accept that your child needs you then get out whilst you still can. your child should be more to you than anything on this earth. follow your instincts as a mother, you know what you want already. act upon it, if you dont you will regret it and the child will grow up asking himself why you abandoned him when he needed you.. follow your heart sweetie!! xx
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2013):
 Divorce.
You know what you need to do, you can't live like this. As sad as it is, your husband is not a man you can live with and share your life with.
I also think the father of your son needs to take a grip on his relationship too! If his girlfriend is maltreating his son he should get rid of the girlfriend, NOT the son!
Likewise, you need to put your children before your husband. Your children need you to be the adult person to protect them and help them. Your husband is a grown man and needs to take care of himself.
The answer is obvious. You need to divorce and kick the husband out.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (25 March 2013):
 Your husband sounds like a horrible man. Why are you putting him before your son?? You are his mother how can you let your son be maltreated by another woman??
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