A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This morning while my boyfriend was at work, I decided to stop by and drop off the clothes I had bought for him while I was shopping yesterday. Realizing that this was the only time I had been in his house by myself, I decided to do a little snooping. When I was almost done, and close to being the happiest woman on earth because the guy I loved was faithful, I find a duffle bag tucked in the back of his closet filled with condoms, and I mean filled! (At least 100). I was too surprised to process it, and they are not ours because we don't use condoms because I'm allergic to latex. We have been together for 8 months, and he has never shown signs of cheating, so I'm trying to trust him, but my shock has turned to hurt, and I am seriously contemplating driving up to his job ( he works at a Elementary school down the street) and yelling at him, because I need answers now! If you were in this situation how would you approach this? I really want him to be innocent but is there any other answer them him cheating?? I need advice
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 December 2015):
 You're a drama queen. Big time.
First you snoop around as if you have some right to, and then you want to drive up and publicly humiliate him... For what? You feeling insecure?
Oh, honey, you are an insecure person. That's why you're snooping in the first place. No matter what you found at his house I am sure it'd upset you and make you blow up.
So you found condoms, omg, so what. Condoms last for years, and there's no rule saying you have to get rid of all condoms you ever had the moment you get a girlfriend who doesn't use condoms. I don't use condoms either, not with my current man, not with my last man, and I STILL have condoms laying around. Because you are an idiot to not have them, you never know when you suddenly need them, and he was single just 8 months ago! If anything it shows responsibility.
You need to grow up.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (8 December 2015):
It is easy to see any guy having a bag with condoms that he used long ago still stuffed away in the back of his closet and totally forgotten about. If this is a bag he takes out of the closet and uses frequently....well, that might be different.I'm with Tisha in regard to you going to his place of employment (and an elementary school to boot) so you could yell at him. What purpose would this serve??? What sort of example would it set for any children who would witness this? Why could you not wait until you two are in private? If that happened to a guy where I work, everyone including me would tell him to leave that psychotic loser.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2015): 8 months is not a long time, it's relatively short. I don't understand why you went snooping through all of his things, you worked your way through the whole place if you ended up getting to the back of his closet.I've been seeing my boyfriend for three years and we never use condoms but I'm pretty sure I still have some lurking somewhere in my house. I'm thinking now maybe I should throw them away if this is the kind of thing people do. If my boyfriend ended up coming to my work and yelling at me because he found them I wouldn't be very impressed!I'm absolutely rubbish at sorting out things in my house, God knows what I have in my cupboards and drawers from years ago. So please stop snooping around, he did nothing to make you even feel like he was cheating on you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2015):
 Wow, going through his things? Dang! I've been married almost 2 decades and hubby has a box that is "his" old pictures and other personal crap and I have NEVER gone through it.
I get the curiosity and temptation and all, but .... I don't even know what to say. Then again it seems like the idea of privacy in this day and age is non-existent.
It's in a bag in the BACK of his closet, you are allergic.
So before you, I'm SURE he dated and he made sure to have condoms on hand. Since you two don't use them they sit in a back in the back of his closet. Like Tisha said be probably packed them up when he found out you were allergic, but didn't toss them in case yo two didn't last.
If I had a BF pull a stunt like you did - snooping and then accusing me, I'd dump you on the spot.. It's be bye bye see ya never!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2015):
 He put the condoms that you are allergic to out of the way.
If I were a practical guy dating a woman with a latex allergy, in the first week or two of dating her, I'd bag up all the condoms we couldn't use and get them them out of the way. A practical guy wouldn't assume lifelong commitment after a few weeks of dating.
If the bag was showing signs of frequent access then I'd be a whole different kind of surprised, but from what you report, this is a stash of condoms that he put out of the way to keep you safe when you first started dating.
Seriously though, if you are contemplating driving up to his place of work and yelling at him because of something you think you found when you snooped in his house?
Then you need to check yourself and decide if you are really ready for a relationship with him. Screwing up his employment because of something that was in the back of his closet? Hm.
If I were you, I'd come clean about the closet snooping. Or if you want to go all in, hire a PI to follow him and see if he's a cheater. Though asking your mutual friends if he is one would probably get you the answer you want.
If you don't trust him then you shouldn't be dating him. End of.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2015):
 in a duffle bag in the back of a closet....
honey if he was using them they would be in the night table drawer.
he probably doesn't even remember they are there.
the amazing things I find in the back of my closet would amaze you.
that aside... you deserve your grief.
YOU snooped... HOW DARE YOU? why would you snoop.. did you have a reason to not trust him? why or why not?
what made you think snooping was ok?
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