A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so let me ask this to the ladies. If you've gone out with a guy a few times and you're really starting to like him quite a bit, and THEN you ask about his previous relationships and he's honest with you and tells you he's never had a girlfriend and he's 28. What would you do? Drop him like a hot potato? And if most women this guy meets don't want anything to do with him because of this situation, what should he do? Quit and forget about women for the rest of his life, or listen to his friends and relatives who keep telling him "stop looking and you'll find someone".
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Well... to be quite honest, I think I'd drop him. It's just that I have ONLY been in relationships with men who have not had one serious relationship before me (a few weeks don't count as a serious relationship, anything under 6 months don't count as far as I am concerned).
So the thing is that having dated ONLY guys who were without previous relationship experience I am done for. I'm tired of it. I want a man with experience in relationships so that I don't have to teach him that he can't think and act like a single man when he's not.
No offense to you. And like I said, since I have only been in relationships with me without previous relationships I haven't turned them down in the past. I've just reached my limits as far as it goes. I've officially "trained" 4 guys into being lovely boyfriends for someone else. And I am done with the education, I want a man who's already learned the lessons and knows the drill.
But I think there are tons of women out there who will be enthusiastic about the idea of her being your first. It is in fact VERY romantic, which is something that drew me to my exes. I felt unique, special, and could enjoy all their passion and enthusiasm. Everything was new and wonderful to them, even dining with my family was an amazing journey for them. Someone with more experience in relationships might have not wanted to visit my family, or been as enthusiastic about it.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Why would I drop him? I'm not dating him because of his past, I'm dating him because I like him and find him cute. Now if it turns out that in his past he abused children and beat women, then I might decide I don't like his personality and leave. But why would I leave a guy who hasn't done anything wrong?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 my 38 yr old fiance had ONE short (less than a year) serious relationship when we started our fling... I had 3 husbands before him. I didn't kick him to the curb...
we ended up in counseling to work on communication skills but other than that I would never say NO to him...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 March 2012):
 The key to this entire submittal is the answer to THESE two questions:
1. Does he live with his Mother?, and,
2. Does she iron his underwear?
Please provide the answers to those questions, and then we (Aunts and Uncles) can give you some guidance.....
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (22 March 2012):
 I wouldn't drop you just because you've never had a girlfriend, but you have to understand that this sends out red flags that you may be a commitment phobic. Dating a man who fears commitment is frustrating, painful, and a complete waste of time. Is this you? If so, what are you scared of? If not, why haven't you had a girlfriend?
I really like k_c100's advice- to say something like, "I have dated a few girls, but have never met the right girl for me". That's a good way of phrasing it that won't send a girl running for the hills.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Well I dated a guy who was 29, and he had only had one 'girlfriend', and whether you could claim it was a girlfriend or not is another debate. To me she wasnt a girlfriend - she used him when she was lonely for sex and treated him like crap, she never met any of his friends or family so to me that wasnt a girlfriend, that was a weird dysfunctional FWB.
Anyway, he was 29 and had only 1 sort of girlfriend. Did that put me off him? Not really, I did wonder why (I guess the thought came to my head "what is wrong with him") but it wasnt the reason why I stopped dating him. Why did I stop dating him? Because he was boring to put it simply. He was an economics teacher and all he really cared about was sports or the economy, and while I'm fine with both topics in small doses he didnt talk about anything else. He was also incapable of expression emotion, so I had no idea how he really felt about me, and one other slight negative was he didnt drink, whereas I am passionate about wine and I regularly attend wine tastings etc. So our personalities didnt match to be honest.
So would I drop a guy aged 28 who had never had a girlfriend? No, not at all. I would wonder why, but then again if you were a lovely guy and we got on really well I wouldnt care.
Should you quit women? No, dont be silly. Your friends are right though, when you are really 'trying' to find a girlfriend it never happens, because you are trying so hard. If you relax and dont try so hard then chances are when you stop looking someone will come along.
One tip for you - there is no need to be so honest with girls if they ask about previous relationships. Say something like this 'I have dated a few girls but have never met the right girl for me'. That way you are not saying 'I've never had a girlfriend' but you are not telling a massive lie either. It sounds a bit cute as well, because if the girl likes you she will be hoping that she can be that 'right' girl for you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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