A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I've been going out with my new girlfriend for a few months now and we've had sex a few times. While it's been great, I find it incredibly arousing when a woman 'dresses for sex' (i.e. lingerie, especially thigh-high stockings). She's no prude or anything, but I'm not sure how to approach this - ladies, would you find it weird if your boyfriend asked you to wear stockings/lingerie to bed? In a broader sense, is it unreasonable to ask your girlfriend to dress a certain way for sex? She looks beautiful and I don't want her to think she needs to 'jazzy herself up' to make herself look beautiful or to get me aroused, but there's something about women's exotic wear that makes them look so damn hot! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Shadow Rose  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Onlny if you do it nicely.
If you demand it or pressure her, it's rude, but if you just suggest it or ask nicely, it's not unreasonable at all.
My boyfriend has asked me to dress up before, and we haven't even gotten to the sex part yet, he just wanted to see me in a schoolgirl outfit.
He seemed genuinely interested and he wasn't pushy, so it was easy to say yes.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Sure why not, so long as you pay for it! Like So Very Confused said, either take her shopping or ask if she thinks that's an appropriate thing to buy her. And never buy lingerie for a woman for her birthday or other holidays, because it's essentially buying yourself a present.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 nah man most girlz like it when u tell them what u like. It shows confidence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): I love it when my boyfriend tells me what he likes and he would like me to do for him. I love to buy sexy clothes for him knowing he will like it! It makes me feel very sexy. There's your answer. Don't be afraid to ask her if she could do it, it's perfectly normal.. don't be afraid, i say go for it!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2012):
 I think that it would be fine to ask her if she would do it for you especially if you let her know in advance that you think she is beautiful without it and it’s not mandatory but you would like it. Offer to either take her shopping (we love going to the adult toy store together) or pick up some classy stuff for her (check first if she’s ok with it…do NOT blindside her with it or she will not believe you want her even without the toys and clothes)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 I don't think it is wrong at all to ask. In fact I think most women will be happy to know you are one of those men who are aroused by sexy lingerie. Most women love to dress up and be sexy for their man, but it is difficult if the guy is not into lingerie! So I think she'll be happy to know how she can arouse you more.
However, if you wear sexy lingerie ALL of the time the fun of it disappears. So don't tell her she should dress up so and so often. Let her decide when she wants to add that extra jazz, and then show her what effect it has on you.
But sure, you can mention it, or talk about it when you and her are discussing your likes and dislikes in sex. I just recommend you take your time and don't expect anything soon, because it's a new relationship and you don't want to bring out too much too soon. Things need to take their time and the relationship needs to develop and get to the stage where you can talk about particular sexual interests without it becoming awkward.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2012):
 You can buy her some snazszy lingerie (please find some classy stuff not the $2 whore outfit), but in the end it's up to her if she wants to wear it or not. Don't forget she is not your personal porn star.
I never saw why lingerie was needed, I rather see flesh...
If she isn't sure about how about YOU dress up for her?
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Not at all, as long as you are not asking for something too extreme, and you can still get turned on by her normally without particular clothing, then there is no problem with this at all.
I dont think 'asking' is the right way to go about it though, just mention one day how much she turns you on, and how you would be even more turned on if she was wearing stockings.
My boyfriend has the same turn on as you - he loves women in stockings, so we were talking about fantasies/dressing up/turn on's one day, and he mentioned in the conversation that he really likes stockings. So without him knowing I went out and bought a pair, and then surprised him that night.
I'm sure your girlfriend wont find it weird at all, it is very common thing for men to enjoy (stockings and lingerie) and she will be more than happy I'm sure to induldge you in the things that turn you on. I was quite pleased that I had something new to turn my boyfriend on with, so I'm sure your girlfriend will be quite pleased as well.
So when you next have a conversation that involves sex, mention in passing that you like stockings & lingerie and see if she surprises you!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): There is nothing wrong in asking as long as you are prepared to accept it if she says no. Another point I would like to make is if you mean asking her to dress in this way everytime you have sex, then it could become a chore for her if she was willing to dress like that for you, no harm in asking though.
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