A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't exactly a Relationship problem but I have a 'friend' who I gave a loan of €250 last year, she is now engaged to her boyfriend of two months and quit her job to spend more time with him.I have panic attacks due to lack of money and I have been asking her for this money back for the past 5 months but have seen none of it.Is there any way I can go about getting in back in terms of getting legal advice or getting police involved?I dont think there is as nothing was signed or anything like that.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (25 March 2012):
Do not let this slide. This is YOUR money! If you have friends/acquaintances that know her, get them involved as well. Basically tell anyone who is in her social circle about the sum she still owes you. Call her boyfriend, drop messages on Facebook, etc.
Be consistent in this. Don't take action only to wait for a couple of weeks. If she doesn't get back to you in a week, take further action. Build up the pressure, but stay civilized. You have to guilt trip her if you want a shot at getting it back.
If you know where she lives, visit her home. You're probably not going to be able to get support from authorities, so you're on your own. Remind her of the fact you deemed her a friend. Don't fall for excuses either. If she says she can't pay you back right now because of her financial situation, ask her how much she can pay. Say she says $100, tell her to pay you that and come up with the rest at a specific date you decide.
Be persistent and don't back down!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2012):
 Anonymous 123 does bring up an interesting point. If you can't have your money back at least you can harass her on facebook and e-mails and text messages asking for your money back. You can start to send texts to her family and boyfriend as well, asking them to tell her you want your money back. So that even if she doesn't pay up, at least you'll make her life miserable as payback. If you want to bother with it, sure. Go ahead, she deserves to have you nag at her over it. Perhaps the boyfriend will open his eyes to what a free rider she is too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): I loan out $500 and it been over 2 years and never gotten it back, I just accepted it as a lost and a lesson well learned, send her a text or email asking for your money and if that doesn't work, tell her you are taking her to court knowing that you're not because you don't have proof that you gave her the money, her marriage is not going to work because she's a user and she quit her job so she will need you before you will need her.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (25 March 2012):
 There was a similar question that I had answered and the OP actually ended up getting the money...finally!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-loaned-my-friends-some-money-for-a46.html
I think you shouldn't just let go, because your money is your own, and I would personally never sit back and think of it as an unfortunate loss. 250 euros is a huge sum after all. Give it all you can, pursue her, "remind" on her Facebook, dont ever let go. If you keep quiet about it, she will never, ever want to return you the money, because she has no decency in her. It doesnt matter in the least if she has quit her job or not, that is not your concern; she owes you money and its been a long time now and you should get it back.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (24 March 2012):
If you don't have any proof of it then it'll be hard to get authorities involved. Anyway, I think your claim is too small for courts to bother with it, sorry. Even if you press the authorities on her to get your money back, it'll cost you money first in legal papers etc. and this is money that you have to pay out of your own pocket. In Norway you'll also get this money back once you get your original repayment money back.. but if she isn't going to pay up, and you have no proof of what she owes you, then you'll just be adding to your own money issue.
Besides, she quit her job. She probably doesn't have any money anyway, but living off of her boyfriend. Obviously she's that sort of person.
Leave it be and count it as lost money and a lost friend. In the future, NEVER loan out ANY money to ANYONE. I'm telling you, it's a shitty lesson to learn, but there's only one way to learn it and you're experiencing that right now.
People generally do not pay you back your money.... and in any case, is it really worth the risk? Only loan out money if you can afford to GIVE it and never expect to ever see it again. If you ever have a loan refunded then you should count yourself as lucky.
And in the future, if people borrow money, sign the paperwork and also write down how it should be paid back and when.
My ex boyfriend owed me money (about 300 dollars) that he never paid me back. It sucked, because I trusted that a-hole. And you trusted your friend. But it just goes to show there the world is full of liars. So don't be so willing to give away money in the future. You wont see this money ever again. Cut your losses and cut the friend, she's not worth having around.
You could always write her a formal letter though, in an e-mail. If she responds to it without denying she owes you money then that'll be some sort of written proof. But I doubt you'll get much further in this case as it'll probably just end up costing you more money to file a claim for the money.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2012): You may just have to accept you had a shit friend and let her go. If her life turns upside down, just remember, she is shit. You aint getting your money back but people like that tend to return when they end up back in the shit.
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A
female
reader, MistressNataliee  +, writes (24 March 2012):
Go to a small claims court, gather some evidence of drawing out the money etc. Hopefully, you won't actually have to go through with it as it may scare her but it will do the job whether you have to go to court or not!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (24 March 2012):
 in america, sometimes verbal agreements can be as enforceable
as written contracts but it's obviously more difficult bc of the he said/she said issue.
maybe just the threat of lawyering up or going in for a preliminary consultation in which the lawyer sends a letter that legal actions will be taken against her if she does not follow through on your agreement.
if you actually went to court over it, i don't know if you'd win but you'd also have the trouble of paying court/attorney's fees so it would probably not be financially worth it. still sucks though I hope you can figure something out
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