A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl a little while ago and she told me she had genital warts!!!!! weve been going out for like 2 months mainly getting to know each other and she told me. We havnt done anything sexual yet. Cause we just got out of relationships and taking things slow..NOW IS THIS A DEAL BREAKER? I like her alot, and well she said she is getting it treated or already got it treated, and just putting something on it now... I mean I like her but im like not at the point where I LIKE her that much, like, at the point of no return, like cant break up with her now because I love her... Im not there yet (dont know not) and kinda scarred. Has anyone experienced this kinda situation? Big deal not big deal? If you like her it doesnt matter :/.. idk help kinda shocked and not sure how to handle this big piece of information..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): Not a big deal. Get the vaccine and you won't need to worry about it...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 March 2012):
 " You can get it and it can lay dormant for a decade then BOOM show up."
It can lay dormant for up to a year. Not a decade. I don't want to scare the poster too much.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 March 2012):
 I would talk to my doctor about the HVP vaccination honestly, but yes, genital warts would be a Eh, I don't know... for me. Huge turn off for sure.
Even with condoms and this and that it spreads easily. You can get it and it can lay dormant for a decade then BOOM show up.
I would definitely have a chat with my doctor first before deciding.
She does get MAJOR cool points for telling you and being honest about it. The thing is with HPV it's easy to get and it can be hard to detect before it's "too late". So she could have gotten it a long time ago from someone who didn't know they had it or didn't care they had it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2012):
 It may be a deal breaker for you but it’s not for me. She was honest with you. And I think you need to give her kudos and tons of respect for that. If she was honest about it and she is being treated for it and knows not to engage in activity when she is in the throes of an outbreak then all should be fine.
Goodness my brother had Hep C and his partner did not leave him
My cousin has genital warts and she’s got a partner that loves her and wouldn’t leave her.
My brother met his husband and they were open and honest 10 years ago and he told his now husband that he has HEP C and his partner said I have HIV and have for years… and they lived happily ever after… my brother has HEP C his husband does not. His husband has HIV and he does not.
A person is NOT defined by their illnesses....
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 March 2012):
 One more thing. If you can't feel comfortable with the idea of her having genital warts, then it's best to leave her. You may feel that you agreed to catch a disease and you did it "just for her", and later in life you may feel like getting even. That would be so bad.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 March 2012):
I know genital warts are not the best thing to happen in a relationship, but this should not be a deal breaker.
Someone asked a related question elsewhere on Dear Cupid.
Genital warts are the manifestation of the HPV virus. Fortunately for you, she had signs of the contagion, and she was honest and decent enough to tell you. Because some people won't, you know?
The HPV virus is very common and, if you have had sex, you need to think of yourself as a carrier of it. You may have no symptoms (most people don't), but you have the virus. The immune system usually takes care of it, but sometimes it doesn't, as in her case. It does not make her any less pure than you.
She is receiving treatment and her doctor will tell you how best to manage this.
Sparty: HPV DOES affect men. Ever heard of penile cancer? Some men get it. We love being with different women, and that is one of the chances we take.
HPV is a sad fact of life. Mankind has lived with it since ever.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (20 March 2012):
Oh dear you, you don't know a thing about genital warts do you?
Listen, they're no biggie. It's just warts, people have them without the world coming to a stop. And in this particular case genital warts are easily treated. And once they are treated and gone, they stay gone. It isn't something that stays with you for the rest of your life. It gets treated and then POOF. Gone. Out of your life. Nothing to worry about.
Warts spread veeery easily though. So If you and her are getting to the point where you want to be sexual you need to be cautious. The best thing might probably be to wait until her treatment is finished, which shouldn't take more than a few months. And then, use condoms. If he hasn't had reoccurring warts in two years she's completely free.
The problem is that you can carry the wart virus without having the warts for a long period of time (she wont, she already got the warts, but there is a time period from when you get the virus and until the warts appear). If you get the virus from her you'll just end up giving them back to her, and the cycle will go on and on. So the best thing is to wait with sex until she has had her treatment.
As for how easily they spread, just skin contact is enough. If you rub up against her with your genitals then that's enough.
But genital warts are easily treated, they disappear once treated, and they don't cause any harm to your body in terms of infertility etc.
I had genital warts once, and was with a boyfriend at the time. Warts can take up to a year to appear from the time of the infection. My boyfriend at the time didn't get genital warts even though we'd been having sex before I noticed (the warts are so small I didn't realize until some time later). We used condoms though, so that could be one explanation to why he didn't get warts. My boyfriend had Hepatitis B, so we were cautious to begin with, no rubbing and always using condoms. We still had sex during this time and it didn't complicate our relationship anything at all.
But like I said, me and him were already sexual. You probably should wait with sex until her treatment is done, since you haven't gotten to that stage yet.
I also suggest you go with her to a school nurse or doctor to talk about safe sex and what precautions you might want to take to make sure her treatment isn't disturbed and that she will not get reoccurring warts (they can reappear if you get infected before she is completely free, and then you will just send the virus back to her again and you'll have to start treatment all over).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): Obviously yes.
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A
male
reader, sparty the spartan +, writes (20 March 2012):
 i had a problem similar to this except we were friends wanting to be more and she told me she had hpv but she is gettin the treatment. hpv is a lil worse cuz guy cant be treated for it cuz it doesnt affect us but we can transmit it even if we use condoms. so i would have to say that since she was honest about it and is getting treated it will be fine but go see your doc and ask about how to be sure she is clean and how to protect yourself just in case... if it was anythin worse i would have to say BIG DEAL but in this case i would have to say wrap it before you tap it and get tested regularly just to make sure
good luck!!!
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