A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How does someone make there self more interesting? my bf told me the other night that I wasnt interesting enough and that's why he never can talk to me. we been together for 4years now idk but he's always been really quiet but I just feel like he's never interested in any of my business he doesn't seem to care about anything I do, then again I'm always home I dont work and I stay home and just watch over my 7 month baby. he's home half the week with me and well we really dont do much at home other then lay around watch our kid eat clean nothing really special. anyways I know I dont have much going on in my life right now but how should I take this comment he made about me that I'm not interested to talk to me? its telling that he doesn't like me and that he just doesn't care what goes on with I told him that if I wasn't interesting enough why was he still with me he dint have anything to say to that. someone please help me because I'm real confused and hurt but I know that sometimes the truth hurt and we must accept it and move on with our life but I think I just need to hear it out loud! please help
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 "How does someone make there self more interesting?"
By spending time with people who actually think you are interesting, rather than spending time with someone who doesn't.
You're not the one who has to change who you are, you merely have to change your boyfriend. Get a new one. Someone more interesting and less up his own ass perhaps.
But then there's the child. Your boyfriend probably stays for the same reason you do: you have a life and a kid together. But he seriously needs to get his head out of his ass if he wants to have a future with you. You're home all day looking after the kid, of course nothing much is going to happen to you other than that. But that doesn't mean you aren't interesting as a person. But come on, how often does he initiate a debate on politics, global warming, or the latest article on physics he happened to read? Let me guess: never.
People only have as much fun as they create themselves. If he thinks you are not interesting then it is because HE is not interesting. If he was an interesting person he'd find tons of things to talk to you about. And like you said, he is the one who doesn't care about what you do or what's going on. He's the one who's stuck looking at his own reflection in the mirror and not caring what happens in your life. He is the uninteresting one. You could be saving the world or working as a secret agent and he wouldn't find you interesting anyway. Because he's so up himself.
It could be a passing thing. That right now he's self concerned. But that 6 months from now, or a year from now, he'll be more aware of his surroundings and actually start showing an interest in his family. It's not YOUR job to entertain him you know. It's his own job to entertain himself.
Tell him that you have given this some thought. That your feelings were hurt by his comment, because you are not an uninteresting person. But that if he feels there isn't much interesting things going on he is welcome to initiate something, and you will be willing to play along.
But really, like I said... he's the bore here, not you. And he was rude and up his own ass to tell you something like that. People who are bored are bored because they themselves are uninteresting... but when they are up themselves they rather point fingers and then sit on their asses expecting people to entertain them... And then they are never pleased anyway. So don't even bother trying to put on a show. With his lack of interest steaming from HIM it doesn't matter how interesting you are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): Sounds like you have more than one baby to take care of ... Your boyfriend sounds incredibly immature and what he said to you was hurtful and unacceptable. He obviously doesn't care how his words affect you. What you describe is not a relationship - the two of you are not communicating so how can you relate? Are you still in love with this man? Ask yourself honestly - you don't need to say "Yes" because you have a child together. Do you think the situation you are in now is the kind of atmosphere or household your child should be raised in? Do you think being raised in a household where his/her parents can't communicate, or no longer care about one another, is going to create a happy, well-adjusted child? You are not happy. Your partner is obviously not happy. Maybe it's just time to move on? Before you do ... is the home you are living in yours? Will your partner leave if you ask him? What support mechanism do you have around you, family, friends? If you are happy, appreciated, and supported your chances of raising a happy child are so much greater. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 You've been together 4 YEARS... and he has the nerve to tell you "...I wasnt (you aren't) interesting enough and that's why he never can talk to me."???????
The ONLY justification that I can imagine for that would be if you were very busy tending to your baby.... and that is making him feel "left out" of your attentions....
HOWEVER, there are two important details around that issue:
1. Real men KNOW that babies take extra attention from their Mother, and,
2. Real men are not so self-centered (read: immature) that they STILL THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM!!!!
I recommend that you and he seek a respected, yet disinterested, third party (a clergyman, relative, counsellor) and put those words on the table and find out what they REALLY mean....
Good luck....
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