A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went away recently to visit some family, my nans brother and his step daughter / her husband. We are all very good friends and have met several times before this visit.However this time was different, it started the same as always, meet up as I had travelled to see them, go out to the pub for some drinks. We all had a lot to drink and by the end of the night were very drunk.In the taxi on the way home i sat in the back the /ANDREW my 2nd cousins husband; we were very close but i really thought nothing of it. Until he started to rub his hand up my thigh. To start with I didn't think sexually but he continued, started to rub my inner leg rather seductively.. I looked at him confused and a bit shocked, he continued and I didn't attempt to stop him. I don't know why?! I was really drunk and this always makes me horny.(JUST TO ADD HE IS IN HIS 40s and I AM 17)Every time my cousin (his wife) /SARAH would turn round (or my mum who was next to her in the cab) he would stop, I wasn't thinking of consequences at the time, I wasn't thinking of anything at all other than it felt good. As we stopped the car to get take away he whispered to me "Its the danger that makes it exciting"... When we got back in the care inevitably the same thing happened again. When we got back to their house /SARAH went upstairs to the toilet, as did my mum and it was just me and /ANDREW in the kitchen... He turned around and kissed me passionately, then told me he "wanted me", kissed me again (I went along with this as I was drunk and somewhat confused). Just then Sarah appears behind us and has seen the kissing. She went MAD..Ever since I sobered up I have felt AWFUL. Clearly she doesn't know of what happened in the cab home, she just saw me and her husband kissing. I dont know what to do, she wont talk to me now and hasnt since I left her house that night to stay in a hotel with my mum. I have tried calling her but she doesn't want to know. I have /ANDREWS number but dont think it is a good idea to text him.What can I do? I feel so bad, guilty, like an awful person. He is so much older and my cousins husband, I love my cousin to pieces and now I ruined our relationship.I don't really know what part of this is a question, but I need help... I think I done what I did because my own boyfriend cheated on me and /ANDREW made me feel wanted. But that makes me an awful person! What should I do? HELP ME PLEASE...
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cheated on me, cousin, drunk, horny, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): Honestly, I wouldn't talk to u either. Because I am feeling betrayed by my own hubby right now, I didn't even realise you were being molested till the others pointed it out. I just saw red, which makes me think that your cousin needs some time to gain perspective.
Sorry about this. Sorry about what this is going to do to your reputation. I think you may need councelling, hopefully spiritual councelling to get through the next few years. I don't think you quite grasp the magnitude of what has happened. Not yet.
Sorry about your boyfriend too.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 March 2012):
 Are you legally allowed to drink? Are you legally allowed to have sex? What country do you live in?
As long as you are under age he is the pervert and he is the one who has been seducing you. If you were drunk, illegally so, then they are the grown ups who are responsible for you. Him being your uncle of sorts, even though an in law uncle, makes this wrong on yet another level. And it is HIM doing the wrongdoings here, not you.
The way I see it, an adult man got you drunk, then started to grab you. Him being so much older than you, and in family, he is an authority figure that you have a difficult time saying no to. He is, in other words, taking complete advantage of you (and you are not an adult yet, you are just 17).
If I were you I might start by telling your cousin what happened in the taxi and also tell your mother and father what this "uncle" of yours attempted to do with you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (21 March 2012):
 I know I will sound like a first class wowser but there is so much wrong with this story, starting with you going out and getting drunk in your mother's presence and its all okay and quite normal ....
Were you meant to stay with your cousin until this incident or were you always meant to stay in a hotel? You need to tell your mother what happened in the taxi, and what he said to you.
I wouldn't be texting him anything, nor contacting him in anyway at all.
I think as you were in the care of your mother at the time you should leave it to the adults to sort out, and for heaven's sake stop drinking yourself so blotto, it's so not a good look!
As for your cousin's husband, yech, what a disgusting old pervert taking advantage of a drunk young girl like that, you should do your best to avoid him in future, drunk or sober.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (21 March 2012):
 Your 2nd cousins husband is basically a pervert, so if she should be mad at anyone it should be her husband for taking advantage of a drunk minor. Aside from those issues, this is really a spousal issue at this point. Consider writing an apology letter in a couple of weeks when she's cooled down but I would not initiate verbal contact for now.
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