A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I was hoping someone would have some advice with how to handle this situation.I live w/ my b/f, but we both work a lot during the week. So, on a good day, I usually see him only for about 1-2 hrs before we go to sleep. And, during those hours, I am usually cleaning or eating or getting ready for the next work day.This pretty much just leaves weekends to see him. On the weekends, what usually happens is we will be spending like an hour or two of alone time. Then, he will invite his friends to hang out with us. Don't get me wrong, I like his friends, but I get sick of them interrupting all the time. Sometimes, I want to spend a day with just him where we are outside doing things. But, that usually never happens. Ever. If we are out, someone always has to be tagging along.This gets me very frustrated to the point of wanting to go home when they show up. Then, I literally don't get to spend time with him.When I complain, he says I am being antisocial, which I think is an unfair characterizationm given how little time we actually spend alone.Am I in the wrong? How do I handle this because when we "talk it out" I just feel like an antisocial jerk? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Joker55 +, writes (21 May 2012):
I feel your pain all too well my girlfriend used to always spend time with me alone now any time she wants to spend with me I have to share it with all her friends It really hurts me to feel like she doesn't ever want to be alone with me and she always used to come and see me and spend alone time with me then one day she just stopped it really hurt I grew accustomed to seeing her on a regular basis then just one day she stopped I still don't understand and I'm sorry for your problem that your having it sucks trust me
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2012): Sweetie, he's just not that in to you. When a guy wants to spend time with his "boys" rather than his girl, it's just not happening.
You're probably cleaning the house, cooking his meals, washing his dirty drawers, and he's loving it. Are you talking marriage? Do you have your name on the lease? Do you have a shared bank account? Anything that might suggest he cares?
If the only free time you have together he invites other people over constantly, wake up sister girl.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 May 2012):
 Given how much he works he also gets to see very little of his friends. He does see you more often. Not always quality time alone, but he does see you more often than he sees your friends. The problem is that you want more alone time with him. And you feel that his friends eat away at the time YOU should have with him.
But how about you don't have this "alone time" in the weekends and spend the time together then? Or how about you plan AHEAD for a change and plan a day for just you and him? You can go somewhere? Agree to make it just you and him beforehand and this shouldn't be a problem. Friends tagging along is what happens when you and him don't have any concrete plans for the day and including friends to hang out with you sounds like the perfect way to make everyone happy by spending time with everyone.
Look into how you can both cut back on work and spend more time at home together. Or get a vacation together just you and him. But first off: PLAN a bit more ahead. Plan what activities will be done, and when you should be in private and when friends can be included. It doesn't have to be more difficult than that.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 May 2012):
 The only way to work this out is to talk it over am afraid. Assure him that you like being social and spending time with friends as well, but that sometimes you just want to spend some alone time with him. Try and compromise between the both of you. Maybe agree that once every couple of weeks you both spend a day together and alone.
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